My father's ex-wife (and not my mother)

There is a lot more to this story than I have put on here but that is the basic idea. My sister refuses to give in saying his exwife "has been good to her" and no other information. I feel it is disrespectful to our father who is giving her a large sum of money. Yes this day is about her and her fiance, but it is also an occasion for both families to celebrate their love and enjoy them. Should my father be asked to sacrifice his and his current wife's happiness as the parents of the bride because his ex wife is in attendance? Im stuck in the middle and want my family to get a long.

This person is not related by marriage or blood to my youngest sister. She is my half sister's mother.

Your sister can invite whoever she wants, this is HER wedding. Your dad needs to grow up. Just because HE doesn't like his ex wife, doesn't mean your sister needs to dislike her too.

I agree with @VM. I think haha. I'm not sure I understand all of the connections. If it is her stepmother then she has a connection to her.

Oh I understand. Then I still agree with what you said. Even if it isn't her current stepmother, there's no reason they should have to cut ties.

I don't have anything to add. The ladies hit the nail on the head. Just wanted to say I'm sorry your family is having to deal with this situation.

I don't know why you are worried about it. Not your circus, not your monkeys. I would let her deal with it and deal with the drama and stay out of it. You do not understand where she is coming from.

At this point, I think a 3rd party needs to intervene. Surely your half-sisters Mom knows that they are barely civil and this will cause tension. Maybe someone can talk to her and she can bow out gracefully?

Is he still married to your Mom or does he have another new wife?

I agree that he should put his big boy pants on, but at the same time you and your sister have no idea what is relationship was like with his ex wife ( while they were married) or even what it is like now. I would say that although your father is a little off on this topic, it would be respectful of your sister to not have his ex wife there if it makes him that upset/ uncomfortable. Also i would think that your mother would also be uncomfortable, although sometimes these relationships are ok it seems like there is a reason you two don't know about for why he would not want to spend time with his ex wife.

i think it is kind of unfair of your sister to disregard his feelings in this situation.

Crystal - he has a NEW wife, and is upset about the ex wife (not her mother).

Clarification. My father was married to this person before the bride was born. until the last 3 years has my sister had a relationship of any type with this person. As far as the bride's relationship she is basically an extended family friend. Our parents have been married for 30 years. This has a very long history. While things are better than they once were, I don't feel that a wedding is the time or place to test new waters on bettering this relationship.

Although I do have to agree with Promike. It's not your concern.

Well that's what I am saying. He was married had 2 daughters. Got divorced, married elizabeth's Mom and had her and her sister. So now he is married again? How does your Mom feel about it all? It seems there would be a whole lot of family dynamic happening. Talk to him, what if Mom said your new wife couldn't come because that would be to weird?

There are many ways to go about settling this, though most of them come down to him behaving well.

I am going to say that unless your sister asked you for your opinion i would stay out of it and let them deal with the issue.

Can your dad be an adult for a few hours? He doesn't have to be near his ex wife or associate with her at all. There are plenty of people at the wedding to not have to interact with each other. Nothing annoys me more than grown adults being upset because someone they don't like is in the same room. I get your dad is paying but he needs to grow up and get over it. Its disrespectful of your dad to tell you daughter who she can and can't be close with and invite to her wedding.

Well, he must have liked his ex wife at some point, since they were married and had kids! And it's been 30 years? My freaking goodness, he needs to get over it and move on. I think she should come, since that is what the bride wants.

Melissa- at the same time though dont you think that it would be respectful of the daughter to realize that her father does not like this woman whom he was married to for however long, probably for a reason? i would never subject my father to that kind of situation with his ex wife

Wait a sec.. I missed the 30 years part. 30 YEARS?? Jesus Christ. And he can't be civil for 5 or so hours?? You would think he would have moved on by now!

So they have been divorced over 30 years? I think it's time for him to get over it. Unless he thinks she's badmouthing him or anything else will happen, he should be ok with it. This woman is still the mum of two of his kids.

@surfer - Nope. Its her wedding and her close family and friends that she wants to celebrate with. So the dad doesn't like the ex wife, big deal. He literally does not have to speak to her. If the sight of someone puts a damper on one of the happiest days of his life then he needs to grow up. Its been 30 years, hes remarried and has 2 other children with someone else. Why is he still so upset? I don't get why he can't be a damn adult and ignore the person. If I see someone I don't like I ignore them or politely say hi and walk away.