My Father just passed away - i need advice/help/thoughts/prayers

To say I am sorry for your loss is an understatement. To lose such a huge person in your Ife is a hard situation to handle all while trying to plan your wedding. I lost my dad when I was 8 years old, and sadly my older sister will not be at my wedding to support me on what is the most important day of my life. The best advice I can give you is to ask some of the men close to you in your family to join in and walk you down the aisle, and or join you for your daddy-daughter dance. I am positive your dad wouldn't want your big day to be anything less than amazing. Going into your big day you must think more about the happy memories you both shared, instead of his death. I am a CNA and have had to console families when their loved ones passed away, it's heart breaking to say the least. To write your post it took strength, courage, and resilience. Now carry that with you on your big day, with your head held high and your dad smiling down on you. Sorry for your loss love, I pray you find your inner peace ❤️

My condolences but I'm sure you feel that your Dad is still with you spiritually and he wants to enjoy your day. Do you have a brother, uncle or someone who can stand in for some things. Focus on finding a special way to honor him. That will take your focus off of the missing and focus on the love you have for each other. That makes him part of your day in an official way. Mourn your loss for a time but then turn towards the positive as your father would have wanted. You dont want to hurt him by watching you feel miserable. He loved you and wants you to live your life to the fullest. I'm not trying to minimize because I would be a hot mess but sometimes you need permission and a push to move forward and appreciate that you had a loving and close father. Nothing will ever change that. Much love.

I'm so sorry to hear about the unexpected passing of your Dad.
Allow yourself time to grieve, allow yourself to feel what you feel, and lean on those close to you for support. I'm sure you will have mixed emotions on your wedding day, especially given your Dad's role, no matter how near or far away it is. It's ok to feel whatever comes up - just remember how happy and proud he was of you. It will likely be bittersweet, and that's ok. Your Dad likely wanted your wedding day to be everything you ever dreamed of, so keep this in mind also. He would want you to enjoy the moments you can and look forward to your future.
Finding a way to incorporate him in your day still is a great way to both keep him a part of the wedding and make you feel closer to his memory. People have done charms on bouquets, a dedicated chair with a photo on it, a memorial table, etc.
If your venue/vendors allow, you could try to postpone if you think it would be too soon for you. If not though, it is still possible to enjoy your day for what it is, all emotions included. It's ok to smile and laugh when you are ready - it doesn't make your loss any less important and it doesn't mean you miss him any less. It just means you are living and carrying him with you as you go. It's also ok to cry and feel sad - it doesn't make your commitment to your future husband any less true.
Again, I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your Dad. I pray for healing for you and your family, and hope you are soon able to take some comfort in the many warm memories you have of him.

Xoxo baby girl. I'm soooo sorry about this. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. My mom moved to heaven also 8 years ago. She was 58. I literally felt like I had a sword jammed down my throat for 2 weeks. I have never been in so much physical or mental pain in my life. I cried myself to sleep for 18 months straight and I could Not be comforted. sigh. There is no easy way to get through it. I don't know how it happens but somehow you look up and your doing ok. It took years for it to sink in..years to be happy again. The truth is I lost a piece of me I can't replace.

What made it better..my mother visited me in countless dreams and let me know she was in heaven. I could feel the heavenly presence like frfr.

Watching near death YouTube videos about ppl that have been to heaven

Reading the book heaven is foreal helped

Talking to others in the same boat helped.

Finally praying and asking God for help after 18 months of torture helped. Literally the second I prayed I felt the spirit of grief lift and I have only cried myself to sleep a hand full of times since then.

Know that your dad is not dead. My mom said this to me over and over and over again. She's living a very vibrant and wonderful life now and so is he. Believe that he lives on. He will be there for you every step of the way. I pray God gives you the peace that passes all understanding and your dad visits you often. Those visits are great. My mom's been helping me plan my wedding bc yea I started being really sad she won't be there..in my dreams she swears she's coming..lol
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ you are not alone. You are loved [my mom's favorite saying]

I Am sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry, merebear. I lost my father a few years ago. I haven't gotten married yet so I don't know how I would get through the day without him. One suggestion I do have is to not have an overtly visual memorial for him at your wedding (e.g. an empty seat) - especially with the loss being so recent, it's very likely to be a stark reminder and a trigger for you and for other members of your family and keep everybody focusing on the grief of the loss rather than the joy of your wedding day. It might be comforting instead to carry a more private memento, such as a handkerchief of his, a locket with your pictures in it attached to your bouquet, or a patch from one of his shirts sewn onto the inside of your wedding dress so it's near your heart (all things I've seen brides do). Hugs and love to you.

I’m heartbroken for you. I can’t imagine what you are going through but praying you find peace during this difficult time. So sorry for your loss 💔

I’m so very sorry to hear and can understand your pain. I too recently lost my father, he was also 60 and it was unexpected. He’d been dealing with kidney failure for a long time but we never thought he would die so soon. He went in for a normal procedure and never came back out. I am devastated he won’t be there to walk me down the aisle because he would have been elated! 3 months after losing him my mom
was diagnosed with cancer. She’s had surgery, radiation and those didn’t work and we have just finished chemo. So now it’s really been me begging and pleading with God to please allow me to have one living parent attend my wedding. This has been a pretty sucky time but I just keep remembering that both my parents love me and they’d be/are so happy for this day so I have to find happiness in that. I have found ways to incorporate my dad in the wedding (used his favorite color as one of my wedding colors, have a piece of his tie embroidered and patched into my wedding dress and also have a locket with a picture of him on my bouquet. I know the day will be hard but I’m just holding on to the fact that many of my other loved ones will be there to support and love me and I want to bask in that love. You will get through this, it will be emotional
but lean on your family to lift you up and for them to be your strength until you can muster up your own. My thoughts are with you and I truly wish you all the best.

I am very sorry for your loss. There's a lot of God advice from ppl on here and brides who are going through the same. I like the advice on ways to remember your dad at your wedding. Walking down the isle to the song he picked, having your brother or another male or female relative (your mom) give you away, playing a slideshow of your relationship with your dad to his song are all great ideas. I'd like to add the following:

1. Hanging pictures of your father along the isle where you will walk.
2. I saw a video the other week from a wedding where the brides brother got up to do his speech. He said that the father had recently passed on, so he pre-recorded himself singing the father daughter dance song and different family members got up to dance with her, starting with him.

Okay. I don't know if he prerecorded or, or just performed it for her at the wedding, but obviously he didn't dance with her first.

My heart hurts with you after reading this. Prayers of love and peace and deep healing being sent your way. You cannot see him now but he is still with you and will remain in your heart for all of your days. Yes it hurts so bad.. I am so sorry.. but you will get through this. Let a close loved one or relative take the reigns on your wedding for right now if you can. Focus on getting through each day. One day at a time. It WILL get a little bit easier with time. You will always miss him but the pain does lessen. His love will never leave you. It will always be with you.

These messages truly warm my heart. It means so much to see all the support and advice. So thankful for this community and the thoughts and prayers that were extended to me and my family. ❤️

My heart felt prayers to you and your family. My oldest brother and sister both passed a year ago and they are surely missed.
I also know the loss of a husband but nothing compares to a parent.
Take a deep breath and cry, scream, mourn.
Your father is always with you.
Again, so very sorry for your loss and pain. XO

Have a memory chair or table
Hang pictures of you together
Or a memory slide instead of a dance.

I am so sorry! My heart hurts for you 😔 I went through the same thing where I was at a point I couldn't care less if we got married without my dad here. Your dad will be there on your wedding day..infact you'll feel him with you many days! I am incorporating my dad in my wedding in so many ways..maybe these ideas will help you? I'm walking myself down the aisle as not a soul could replace my dad, I had a gorgeous mini frame with a picture of him for my boquet..I'll be placing my boquet at his grave site the next morning. I'm doing a memory table, my jp will be saying a little something about him at the start of the ceremony, I always new the song I would dance with my dad too..I cant just not do it now so I may dance to it with my FH. Do what makes your heart happy, and remember hes always with you ♡

I’m so sorry for your lost.

Let me begin by saying how sorry I am for your loss. Take your time to work through it, realize that your feelings are valid, and know that there are going to be times that it just overwhelms you out of nowhere - and you will get through it.

We lost my Dad in December of 2011. It made wedding planning very difficult, because I knew that I would never have exactly what I wanted - my Dad to walk me down the aisle, dance with me, etc.

For my wedding, I purchased a locket and put his picture in it, so that he was with me on my day. My brother walked me down the aisle, and when the priest asked "who presents this woman" he replied "on behalf of those here, and those who are unable to be, I do" - as a nod to the fact that my Dad should have and would have been there to do so if he could have. I also arranged to dance with my brother - with the wedding coordinator understanding that I would let her know whether I was feeling strong enough to do it - we danced to the song from which my Dad gave me my nickname. I cried, my Mom cried, my brother cried.

There are going to be moments where it's very, very difficult - because you will be sad and angry that he's not with you. There are also going to be moments of joy, because you and your fiance will be getting married. Wear the best possible waterproof makeup that you can.

Sending love and sympathy

I am so sorry for your loss

I so very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 20 years ago (he was 56), it still hurts to this day.

Your dad will be with you on your day. You can add a favorite flower of his to your bouquet, make the boutonnieres with his favorite flower.

I cannot even begin to express how truly sorry I am. I read your post this morning and can’t stop thinking about you. Sending hugs your way. You’re not alone and I promise it will all be ok.