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Savvy October 2013

My family seems completely uninterested in my engagement...

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Jessyca, on February 23, 2012 at 1:02 AM

I'm looking for a bit of advice here. My family, particularly my mother, seems completely uninterested in talking to me about anything wedding related. I'm not quite sure why. She has stated her reservations about my engagement, primarily that she thinks my fiance lacks ambition. I actually can't disagree with this assessment, but I do understand it. He's been working at the same job since the place opened about 7 years ago, so it's very secure, and he's had no need/want/reason to find anything else. But my mother's issue is that he only making slightly over minimum wage, and there's no real opportunity for advancement. But with this economy, especially in my location, I'm just thrilled that he has a stable full-time job. And if this is my mother's only issue with the engagement, I don't understand why it is having such and impact on any related conversations. For example, my family has never met my fiance's family. I figure with the impending wedding, this should be fixed. (Cont...)

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23 Comments

Nancy Taussig · on February 23, 2012 at 5:10 PM
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Well, I don't have any kids to get excited about their wedding plans. So, for all you brides who didn't get the responses you hoped for, "Yippee, that's wonderful news! He's perfect for you! I know you'll have a wonderful marriage. Big HUGS all around!"
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Master November 2014
Sabrina · on February 23, 2012 at 5:29 PM
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NANCY, lmao...thats sweet!
Tammy P.... lmao to you as well..... its true, thats what i want for my boys too.....
Jess, I think you should give her a little more time, and then definately mention it to her. Tell her, that you feel that she isn't excited. Tell her you understand her concerns completely... but you're an adult and he is YOUR choice. Tell herwhat you expect from her, tell her that you want to go dress shopping with her one day and hope she'll be excited to share all the special girlie days with you. I can understand her concerns and sometimes us moms get a little overprotective, and then this sweet bright and shiny new guy that you're DATING is gonna be your SPOUSE? he all of a sudden looks less shiny and bright, lol. As for meeting his 'rents... tell her it would just be nice to have met them BEFORE the wedding. Its not a requirement for the wedding, per se, but if it is to you...then YEA MA, its a requirement...K? (im a little more mouthy with my mom than some, lol.)
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Just Said Yes January 2014
Lanya · on June 4, 2013 at 10:36 AM
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I feel your pain! When I told my mom last night, it was a lukewarm reception. She tried to sound happy, but you can always hear the reservations in your mom's voice. (The first thing you want to hear after you say "I'm engaged" is usually "Congratulations!", not "Did you actually say YES?")

I was pretty upset after I hung up with her and I would have been even more upset if not for the fact that ALL of my other friends and family so far have been genuinely excited, and she is the only one being weird.

I'm sure she is just suffering from a case of "Nobodyisgoodenoughformydaughter-itis" and she will come around eventually. But that doesn't make it hurt any less right now, unfortunately.
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