My brothers wedding is adults-only!?!?

Lots of people choose to have adults only weddings. That is the decision of the bride and groom and no one else. If your wife decides she does not want to attend, even though he graciously decided to include your childnre, his two nephews/nieces to attend that is also her right to decide but seems silly to me

That's a tough situation to be in, being the only ones with kids. I feel like they probably figured that since MOST people they're inviting don't have kids, that it gave them a free pass for having an adults only wedding. If you absolutely can't leave your kids at home with a family member or close friend you probably should bring it up as a point of discussion. After all, if all your siblings and parents and most extended family are attending, that probably leaves few options for people you can have take care of the kids while you're gone. If that's the case, I'd be honest with them and say that there's literally no way for you to leave the kids at home.

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My kids are not included, sorry if I was unclear.

Adults only is very common. Weddings are expensive and their priorities won't always match yours. With that decision has to come the understanding that it won't always work for the guests though. If you or your wife are unable to make it because of this then that's fine and they should be understanding of that but I wouldn't hold it against them for sticking to their budget or vibe they want

I wouldn’t attend a destination wedding if my kids weren’t invited. We’re going to a DW in January with our kids and it’s costing most of our entire vacation budget for next year and the kids are both free at the resort. I wouldn’t spend my yearly vacation budget on a trip that didn’t include my kids.

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They could most likely stay behind likely easy enough, thats not the issue. My wife just thinks its rude to exclude the only two kids in the whole family.

I don’t think this is rude at all. People do this all of the time, and while it’s off-putting when you’re the one affected by it, it likely wasn’t a decision made to purposely alienate you. If that’s what they want for their wedding day, it’s their decision to make and more than likely had nothing to do with your or your children. It’s your brother, so I’d urge you and your wife to let this go and attend the wedding.

My wedding is adults only because of the expense and the alcohol. Some people can't control their alcohol at weddings and children don't need to see that. Paying for an entire meal, seat, etc. For a child who is barely going to eat and run around most of the time seemed steep. It is also a good excuse for parents to have a good time without worrying about their children. My flower girls are being picked up by other grandparents after the ceremony. A lot of weddings are adults only.

It's not rude. They want a kid free wedding. Do you not have anyone that can watch the kids? We are leaving our DW open to people to bring kids but so far only my son and my FH's nieces will be there. Most of the adults with kids want a little kid free vacation.

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Ah, that being the case I agree with the others who said it's not rude. When I was a kid I was excluded from multiple family weddings that were adults only.

It's not rude at all. I had an adults only wedding as have many others. It's up to the couple to make that choice, and if it means you cannot attend then so be it.

View Quoted Comment I kind of think it's rude to expect children to accommodated when there are only 2 in the entire family. Your younger brother and his fiancé likely thought it wouldn't be an issue since there are only 2 children in one family, so they chose an adults only resort. It's their big day, their choice, and I don't think they were intentionally trying to make anyone feel unwelcome.

There’s only three children in my family and my wedding is going to be adults only. It’s the bride and grooms choice. If you can go and your wife wants to stay home then that’s a decision you will have to make together.

I’m confused, are your kids invited and she’s upset that they will be the only kids? Or are they not invited and she’s upset because of that? Why not just find a trusted family member or friend to keep them for the weekend and enjoy a kid-free getaway?

View Quoted Comment She's upset that the only niece & nephew in the whole family is not invited. If they were toddlers or infants I would be happy to leave them at home. But they would enjoy a beach vacation as much as any adult.

Many people choose to do adults only. My fiance and I just tackled that question when we wanted our nieces & nephews there. But that jumped our guest list by 10, and only 1 kid is older than a toddler. Frankly, I didn't want me niece to be the only kid in a room full of adults. That can be unfair to the kid(s) or the guest who unexpectedly ends up babysitting them.

Honestly - I wouldn't go... If we are going to spend the money to travel for a vacation spot then we are most likely wanting to bring the kids with.... if we are unable we would have to decide if that's the vacation we actually want... we didn't go to a wedding last year in Texas because it was adults only and if we are traveling down there to see family we would want to bring the kids with... people say your giving the parents a night off, but if we want a date night we will take it ourselves and not be told we have to. We invited all kids - all 60 of them and 30 are coming... not everyone brings them, but we would have risked a lot of people not coming without them... because when your having a wedding and say no kids a lot of the adults who might watch your kids are most likely invited to the wedding as well.

I have kids and did not find it rude when my cousin had an adult only wedding. I looked at it as a weekend for us to have some us time.

View Quoted Comment Honestly? It’s your brothers wedding. It’s a small destination wedding and they chose what would be best for them. Not what would be best for you, your wife or kids. Take your kids on a beach vacation some other time and go support your brother on his day. There’s nothing rude about your brother and his future wife opting to have a no kids wedding.

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If they want a beach vacation, take them on one. It doesn't matter if they aren't toddlers, an 8 and 12 year old don't belong at an adults only resort. If the couple chooses not to have kids at their wedding, they are entitled to that. It stinks if you wanted to make a vacation of it, but you willhave to plan another vacation.