Beginner July 2021

Moving in

Joelle, on August 18, 2019 at 10:31 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 60

So my fiancé plans on getting his first house in March or April when his lease is up and he wants me to move in with him then. He’s 28 and I’m only 23, so I’m a little nervous about moving out, but I’ll be 24 then. I have read some studies that say it’s better to move in together after getting married, but I can’t imagine that’s true, cus doesn’t it make sense to see what it’s like to live with each other before tying the knot? What have other people done? Has anyone moved in together before or after getting married? Any advice would help. Thanks!


Latest activity by Lydia, on August 27, 2019 at 1:28 PM
  • Caitlin
    Devoted June 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    My fiancé and I have been together for almost 7 years. I’m 25 and he’s 27. We moved in together last October. We love being together!
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  • Grace
    Dedicated December 2019
    Grace ·
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    We moved in together 3 years ago. The first 6 months or so were hard, but as long as you're respectful of each other's boundaries, it works out. I think it's important to live together before you get married, you really do become different people. It brings your relationship to a whole other level, and tests your respect and commitment to one another.
    We were 22 and 23 at the time, we're 25 and 26 now.
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Super April 2020
    Maggie ·
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    My FH and i met at 20, we’re getting married this upcoming April at the age of 27! We moved in together 2 years ago (both 24) and it for me was a great idea. It helps get to know what they’re like in every situation, helps to learn who does what chores, how bills should be split, get on a good bathroom routine. I feel that your first year of marriage can be hard enough, I didn’t want to add learning how to live together on top of all of that. Besides, if you’re getting married, what’s a few more months/ years of living together but great practice?
    • Reply
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    My husband and I dated three years then moved in together. The first year was so tough but we learned a lot. We lived together another three years before getting engaged. I think moving in before getting married is super important
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I technically was pretty much moved in before we got married because it felt easier doing wedding stuff together
    • Reply
  • April
    Beginner September 2021
    April ·
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    I’ve been living with my fiancé and my family for the past 2 1/2 years. We’ve had our trials, but everything has made us stronger. I wasn’t into living together before, but circumstances brought us here. Now I believe it was for the best. We understand what makes each other tick...all our bad traits are exposed. On the other hand, it could also show you that the other person is not who you really want. At the end of the day, you’ll find out how strong your relationship really is. Hope everything works out for you. God bless!
    • Reply
  • Joelle
    Beginner July 2021
    Joelle ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you! That’s another reason why I figured it makes more sense to live with each other before getting married. If god forbid bad traits were exposed, like you mentioned, or things didn’t work out and the person turns out to be someone who I don’t want, it’s much better to deal with such situation before being married and having to worry about the possibility of a divorce. (I obviously hope that doesn’t happen 😜)
    • Reply
  • Madison
    Devoted May 2022
    Madison ·
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    My fiancé moved in with me when we were dating. I always wanted him around and it just felt right. It’s definitely a little tricky getting used to living with another person and you learn what they do that you like or don’t and the other way around. You just see what works for you and then it’s just like a normal thing. I love that fact that we live together and can’t imagine it any other way really. One of my best friends who is one of my bridesmaids asked me (when we weren’t engaged) if he asked me to marry him what I would say and I told her yes of course because really there was no difference between us then and us now and then us after the wedding 😂 I love it! And think it’s totally worth it
    • Reply
  • H
    Super September 2019
    H ·
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    I met my fiance when I was 20 and he was 26. We've been together for 6years now and have lived together for about 5 years. Really early on, but we connected so well that the transition of us living together wasn't all that different or difficult. Of course we learned a lot more about each other, but I also feel it was easy for us because we met at work and was already spending nearly every day (work) and night (afterwards) together as is, so there really wasn't much adjusting.
    • Reply
  • L. Thomson
    Expert October 2020
    L. Thomson ·
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    My first marriage, my exhusband and I waited to move in AFTER marriage. Was a disaster. We were married 7 years and he not only turned out to be a cheater, but became increasingly verbally and emotionally abusive.

    My current fiance and I have been living together for 6 years now and are getting married next year. I'm glad we moved in first so we could make sure we were compatible (he went through a bad first marriage too). We've learned how to work together, how to compromise, and best of all how to communicate how we feel if one of us is upset instead of staying angry or hurt. He really is my best friend and our families love each other. Now it's time to make it legal 😁
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted February 2020
    Heather ·
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    We had been dating about 5 years when we decided to move in together (we were both 23 at the time). We have been living together since. Bought our first house together and got engaged 2 years ago. It’s honestly was the best thing we’ve even done. I love waking up to him and the extra time we get together. Also, I feel like it taught us a lot about one another and ensured we could handle living together without driving each other insane. Personally, I would recommend living together before getting married because it’s truly a test to your relationship.
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    We started dating at 23 and moved in together the following year. We got married last month and have lived together for 5 years. Given this, neither of us had any doubts or concerns about getting married as we were certain in the strength of our relationship. Yes, there are a few studies that suggest couples who wait until marriage to live together. However, correlation does not equal causation, as I like to tell my undergrad students. There are tons of other factors that may have played into those findings that have nothing to do with the actual variables being studied, as you cannot have a controlled experiment for this situation. If you feel that you want to move in with your fiance before marriage, do so.
    • Reply
  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
    • Flag
    My FH and I have been together for 10yrs.. we moved in together after 2 yrs of dating at age 19/20... and we moved into our new house that we bought... I wouldn’t have it any other way... I personally agree with living with someone before marriage...

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted October 2020
    Emily ·
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    My fiancé and I moved in with each other after a year of dating and there was no rough patch or anything! It was seamless and it felt like home instantly. I will say that we moved into a quaint 3 bedroom rental house so it may have been different if we lived in a single bedroom or something smaller. Good luck! Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    Beginner October 2020
    Cassidy ·
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    Hi! My fiance is 28 and I am 23 and we have lived together since the day we started dating (about two and a half years now). We weren't supposed to turn into anything but lucky us it did. We have never not lived together. For us, it happened very naturally and seamlessly. However, living together is a milestone in a relationship. I had a two-year relationship end after moving in with a significant other because we did not live well together. It is so comforting for me to know that my fiance and I can live together well. I would definitely recommend it! Sleepovers with your best friend every night are the best!

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    FH and I have been together 7 years, living together 3. I would have liked to move in together earlier, but FH is also 6 years younger than me, and needed to learn how to live outside his parents' home for a while.

    I'm very grateful we live together. Those years we didn't were really tough - we have opposite schedules, and we could go days without seeing each other, despite living very close, geographically.

    • Reply
  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
    • Flag
    I moved in with my fiancée a few months after we'd been together hes about to be 32 and im 23 we've been living together for 3 years almost 4 now but always with his mom to lol so im excited for next year when we finaly get our own place cuz she'll be moving in with his brother. If you honestly think living with him before the wedding will make a difference in how it will be after ur married then i say do it but be prepared for an adjustment period
    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag
    My fiance and I moved in together shortly after we started dating. Like almost immediately. We were friends first and he was at his parents so it made sense for him to move in. We've learned a lot about each other and I'm glad we didn't wait
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I've lived with my FH for 2 years now, 3 by the time of the wedding. I personally would never marry someone I didn't live with first.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Devoted December 2019
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    We got engaged 13 months after we started dating and he moved in a few months after we got engaged (it was a little complicated we both have our own houses, so it took some time to get the logistics settled). We have been living together for 6 months now and I highly recommend living together prior to marriage. You don’t truly know someone until you live together full-time (even though you may think you do) and those first few months require a lot of patience, adjustment, and compromise. I would not want to try to figure this out as newlyweds!
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