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1978jojo
Super August 2017

Mother wants to wear all white!!

1978jojo, on March 4, 2017 at 2:08 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 63
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So Need to know how to deal with this my mom ( mother of the Bride )wants to wear all white to my wedding!! I don't want my pictures we are paying 2800.00 for to look bad because my mother wants to wear all white lace dress and white lace high heels ... I don't really know what to say right now!

63 Comments

Latest activity by Grace, on March 4, 2017 at 10:23 PM
  • Lucio@Last
    Super June 2018
    Lucio@Last ·
    • Flag

    Does it really throw off your color scheme or is it that you're wearing all white so you think her being the only other person wearing all white will look weird? Maybe you could talk to her but that's kind of a hard one. If it's the latter you could maybe tell her you wanna feel special wearing a white dress on your big day and don't want you guys to match... other than that idk what else you could say

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  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    Thank you for the advice, our wedding colors are black, black camouflage, and some white, all of my girls are wearing beautiful black lace knee length dresses and she declined wearing black because she doesn't want to look like part of the bridal party!! Oh just love my mom but I really think the bride should be the only person wearing all white !!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    Well true, but how important is it to you really in the grand scheme of things? We really shouldn't be telling people what to wear.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    All I can tell you are stories about the weddings we've serviced - most of them with massive budgets. Some of those moms have walked in with gorgeous, sequined white gowns. Did any of us believe mom was the bride? Let's put it this way...NO.

    So, the MOB walks in with an expensive, white/ivory, sequined gown. None of the vendors on the floor mistake her for the bride. Why? Because all of us have met personally with the bride, and not only do we know that she is wearing a bridal gown and a veil, but we also know that the bride -- whether she's wearing white, ivory, blush, red, or black -- will have the bloom of youth on her face that her mother couldn't possibly compete with.

    I don't know what "white lace heels" are, but that sound like shoes that are meant to draw attention to the MOB...and in all honesty, they may, but not for the reason the MOB wants them to.

    I hear what you're saying, and I know that almost $3K is a lot of money in the real world, but not so outrageous in the world of wedding photography. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but don't bother yourself with this. Let her wear whatever. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will mistake the MOB for the bride. It's not going to happen. You will be the lady of the day and evening, and if a single judgment is made, it will be in your favor.

    Let it go, Jodi. Is it rude? Is it crass? Is it sort of pathetic? Hell, yes. Will it diminish your beauty and identity on the day of your wedding? Never. You're the bride, and everyone will know that.

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  • G
    Just Said Yes March 2017
    Gracie ·
    • Flag

    Buy her a cute, colored accessory, and tell her you bought it for her it wear to the wedding. Maybe it'll help since she won't be totally in white?

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  • Must Love Cats
    Master October 2017
    Must Love Cats ·
    • Flag

    Invitations dictate what to wear all the time. I think that's very inappropriate of your mom. Tell her how you feel.

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  • Samantha
    Savvy March 2027
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Hi Jodi. Definitely tell your mother that you don't want her to wear all white. It is your groom's and your day after all, so if she can't accept changing something that makes her uncomfortable then, in my opinion, she shouldn't be allowed to come until she does. The wedding isn't to show off her best white dress, it's to support you and your husband and let you shine as brilliantly as possible on the happiest day of your life.

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  • WWModTeam
    WeddingWire Administrator December 2016
    WWModTeam ·
    • Flag

    Hi Jodi , it would be great if you could set an avatar photo. You’ll get more replies on your threads and it’ll help the community recognize you when you post. This can be done from the desktop version of the site, or you can email a picture to community@weddingwire.com and someone will set it for you.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    Samantha, the wedding couple can really only dictate what the wedding party wears. Not the parents. It would seem controlling to tell the MOB that she can't wear a dress that happens to be white.

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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
    • Flag

    It is incredibly rude of her. Is this a dress she already has, or went out and bought? Have you had a difficult relationship with her?

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  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    Ok everyone.... my mom wants to wear a dress of mine, she wants to buy it from me I was going to wear it to my bridal shower, but she wants to wear it to the wedding, So she's my mom and I just gave her the dress. I know everyone knows who the bride is that's obvious, but I just want her to look her age I mean the dress is a dress for me not my almost 60 yr old mom, I guess I should just let her wear what she wants and not worry about it too much, just this is a very special day for us and the wedding of my dreams I guess I just want it to be perfect !!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    Good plan Jodi! When other people are involved, things won't be exactly as you want them, and that's OK. Once you invite guests, things are less under your control.

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  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    Yes our relationship has been off and on difficult, but we are still very close, I feel the dress is a little on the sexy, young side for the wedding , for my mom, I want her to look classy not trashy!

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  • A
    Dedicated November 2017
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I think you have the right to be the only lady wearing white on your wedding day. I'd ask her kindly to please not wear white. Maybe she can do a different shade of white to make it look different than you.

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  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    Sure I know life is never perfect nor am I thinking it will be but as close as we can !! I love my mom and want her just to look her best and this dress is not it !! Just having a hard time just wish she would wear something eles i even offered to buy her a new dress!!!

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  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    Double post sorry I don't know what happened there lol!!

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    Jodi, burn the dress with cigarettes. That will make it unwearable.

    Forget the fact that I won't sell a lamp, a bed, a shower curtain, a car, or an article of clothing to a friend or family member in need...and let's take it from there.

    Jodi, you're actually selling her the dress that caused you to write this thread? Why? If you're so uncomfortable with the dress, how difficult would it have been to say you gave it away or donated it?

    Can we see the dress -- whether it's on you or someone else?

    • Reply
  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    No Rachel, I gave her the dress!!!!!! She wanted to buy it from me and I would not let her Let's just get that out there right now I would never sell my MOM A DRESS really !!!!

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  • 1978jojo
    Super August 2017
    1978jojo ·
    • Flag

    Here's the dress I am not a cheap bitch that needs to sell stuff to anyone I offered to buy her a different dress but she insisted on wearing this one !!!


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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    Well, did you know she was going to wear the dress to your wedding when you gave it to her? Now I'm picturing a completely inappropriate dress -- not based on color. Do you have any photos?.

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