Mother of the bride dress

Hmmm. i think she needs to be comfortable but its also important to keep a theme consistent. it will be december though so maybe offer a faux fur shawl to help camouflage or disguise her arms if she can agree to a longer dress? my brother and sister in law's wedding was in november and it was rather cold so us bridesmaids kept our shawls on the entire night because they are easy to move in. another option is maybe a tea length dress. gives you a longer length and her a shorter length. however, it is important for both of you to feel comfortable and beautiful and truth be told, it will not matter to either of you the day-of or after the wedding. overall, it is YOUR day and nobody elses.

View Quoted Comment Very true!! Thank you for being honest but nice about it!! I’ll probably just bite my tongue on this one

Yes, total bridezilla. (Sarcasm)


I would take it with a grain of salt. She could be caught in some feelings about "giving away her baby" she might not be ready to face. (A lot of parents I work with have vented to me about this in the past.) Your instruction was simple and nothing to panic about. Its a weird time for the parents too. Not to be a giant hippie about it, but love will work this out. Its gonna be okay, shell find a long dress that works for both of you.

This may be frustrating for you and I'm sorry your mom is being somewhat difficult, but at this point I'd just let her wear what she wants to wear. My wedding colours are purple, white and silver. It's different for my bridesmaids, I told them all they needed to wear floor length, eggplant purple dresses. Those were the only guidelines I gave them. They can choose any fabric, neckline, sleeve length, didn't matter to me. I just wanted the colour and length to be uniform. My mom is going to be wearing a red floor length dress. I have no idea what my FMIL is going to show up in. In my mind, I feel like I have other things to think about than what my mom or FMIL is going to wear. I trust they will show up well groomed, dressed elegantly/appropriately for our wedding style. If they don't, it won't reflect poorly on me, it will reflect poorly on them!! All the best, and don't stress, girl!!

I do not think you are being zilla, usually moms ask the bride if there is a color scheme or what not... you are giving her full range of color style etc you just want floor length! I see nothing wrong I think you should just explain how you feel to her

This is so Twilight Zone because I had a fierce conversation with my mother last night about the same thing. Maids are all wearing long dresses and FMIL is wearing a pantsuit, because it will be cold and it will be outdoors. Mom has suddenly, overnight, decided she wants to wear a short blue dress with a white/cream sweater. I told her, "Over my dead body will you be wearing white to my wedding." And also, she will freeze to death, and doesn't she want to consider pants or a long dress? And she informed me that she's a grown woman and knows how to dress herself and that's that.

Not much I can do, except let her know that if she shows up wearing white she won't be in the photos.

View Quoted Comment True!! Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment Omg, I would die. I hope that she doesn’t do that to you!! That’s so wrong.

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I'm about 98% sure she will definitely do it, so I'm 98% mentally prepared for it. That other 2% could go any other way LOL.

Anyway, my advice to you (I forgot to give you advice, I just vomited my own horror story all over you. My bad!) is to just stay calm and remember, as my mom said, that your mom is an adult. She's probably pulling some sort of power move and if you pretend you don't care about it, it backfires on her. She might show up wearing a paper bag and you'll just have to laugh and move on and enjoy your day. I am not going to let my mother ruin my day even if she shows up in an identical wedding dress. Will I ignore her? Yes. Will I cry about it or rage? Absolutely not. That's what she wants and I'm not gonna let it happen. Stay strong, girl!

View Quoted Comment Lol!! No worries!! It seems like your situation is a little more frustrating than mine. So true everything you said though. I guess I just need to worry about myself and how I’ll look!! If she looks out of place it’ll be on her. Thanks for the advice!!

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Yeah, I understand you! My mom and I got into an argument last night because she said she's procrastinating and doesn't want to get her dress yet. She then proceeded to tell me that she wants me to keep "pushing her" to get her dress...

She's a grown ass woman. Why do I need to keep reminding her?

View Quoted Comment Lol. I hear you!! If that’s the case I would ask how much she’s willing to spend and go buy the dress yourself for her

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I wish! She hasn't bought a dress in over a decade so I don't know what size she is anymore. I wear some of her old 80s office clothes that she stopped wearing after having kids, and know that she isn't my size. She is convinced she can lose weight before the wedding...in 50ish days. I would be more inclined to believe her if she were working out or changing her diet....

Girl I have been in your spot. My MIL asked for what I wanted for dresses for her and my mom. I told her long and purple. She only sent me short dresses and sent the last one with the message: I think this one is perfect l. I hope you do too . So I just dropped it and said whatever. My mom picked a beautiful long beaded number and I sent it to her so that she would know what my mom was wearing and she told me well the mother of the bride should be fancier anyways! I just had to laugh it off at this point cause I tried. Best of luck with your mom!