Mother In-Law Issues

What kind of issues?

Nope. You're the only one.

Wow Elphaba!!!!!! I'm so sorry to hear that. However its good that you and your husband has great strength to endure.

Hang in there!!

I think a lot of times we don't realize how much this change affects them as well. Especially for a single parent.

Well I will say this, I do agree that we don't realize how much of a change it is for the parents when their children get married. And especially for mothers and their sons. I'm struggling a little bit with my FMIL right now and the planning process, and I'm trying to keep FH out of it as much as possible. I know she means well but as this is her first of 3 boys getting married, she is going through a lot. But that's still no excuse to create tension. I've just learned what to say to her around her and what not to.

Where should I start? 1. Threatened to spank MY kid for drinking her drink too fast. 2. Hacked my fb, read my messages, and then twisted what I said before telling other people. 3. Will not respect the fact that we have zero contact with FH's sister or father. 4. Was upset with us for turning FFIL in for child porn. Said we should have pretended we didn't see it, like she used to. They've been divorced for 20ish years. I hate her. She's blocked from most of my life, thank goodness. FH answers her texts about once a month.

Yes, I do! My FH and I have been together for over 8 years and not once has she ever considered me family. Even now that we are planning our wedding. She was so "shocked" that her son asked me to marry him. And hasn't stopped expressing that she's so surprised. Another thing is She has walked right past me and goes up to FBIL girlfriends and hugs them and tells them how beautiful they are and ignores me. She has literally planned a "girls night" with the family and my FHs brothers girlfriend and didn't invite me. Those are just a few things that have bothered me. But I've came to the conclusion that she doesn't need to like or love me I'm marrying her son, And if he loves me that's all that matters to me. I did thank her though for raising the man of my dreams when he expressed how shocked she was!

@Ghostly Smile.......holy shit child porn?! Definitely not something you "overlook". I won't ever complain about my FMIL

@Katelynn C. Welcome to my life. FBIL got engaged about a month ago and their wedding is a little over 3 months after ours. Part of it is that they live closer to her, I'll give that benefit of the doubt, but FMIL sure seems a LOT more into planning their wedding, or even showing more pride over their e pics than ours.

Believe me, I am NOT jealous of the happy couple and I wish the best for them. I just wish FMIL could be a little more excited about ours too.

The silver lining is that our relationship has improved over where it was a few years ago. So I believe it will get better in time with mutual effort. ETA: now I feel bad. She just shared our e pic sneak peak on FB.

Hah, my mother in law burned all of FH's photos and won't speak to him because he left her religion 7 years ago. All because some kooky guy in federal prison told her to.

It's OK though. We're gonna sneak down to her house and leave a wedding invitation on the front steps, just to let her know we still love her and she is welcome. I'm not expecting her to come, but fingers crossed I'll get to meet her SOMEDAY.

On the one hand, I kind of dig not having a mother in law because I didn't get along with my ex's mother and a lot of people seem to have problems with their mothers in law. On the other hand, I'd really love to meet the woman who raised my FH.

Why do they act like this??!!??!! If they was getting married they would want all the support. SMH

@SoontobeMrs.2017- Yep. It's the reason FFIL and FSIL are not in our lives.

I met my FMIL for the first time 2 months ago. We got along fine enough- FH did not talk to her for years over nasty divorce, so things are new for everyone. FMIL & I exchanged emails because she wanted to get wedding details and chat. I emailed her like a week after meeting with some pictures of a trip FH & I just returned from and started a dialogue asking for her opinion on a few wedding things... still have not heard from her. She told FH she saw the pictures, but no word about anything else. We are coming to terms with her being happy with her life that doesn't involve us.

We are insanely close to my parents and they love FH more than if he were their biological son; it's hard for me to understand parents treating their children or future children terribly on any front.

Oh yea, we have issues! FH and I have been together almost 8 years. When we first started dating, FMIL came up and stayed with us for our college graduation. She seemed fun and we got along ok, but she logged onto her FB and showed me FHs exgirlfriend and told me he would never get over her. Ummm, ok nice to meet you too! Since then we have had numerous fights, and so much drama. She became ill and needed a place to live. I told FH to have her move in with us because I felt bad for her and her situation. He begged me to stay out of it and to leave her where she was but I felt bad. Worst mistake ever lol she lived with us for 3 years. She tortured me. She would tell me I wasn't good enough for her son, I was a gold digger (even though I was the only one that worked at that time, FH was finishing his masters, so I basically supported all 3 of us), she told me FH didn't love me, she would twist anything I said to start a fight between us, she said I was possessed by a demon and tried to bless me with holy water. She has pretty much ruined every holiday/special occasion with her drama. We basically had to kick her out of our house which caused a rif with most of FHs family. We still have occasional contact (FH and I have a son, so she gets very limited and supervised time with him). We have distanced ourselves from her and I have come to accept she will never like me. It sucks, I never thought I would have a relationship like this with my FMIL but there's not much I can do about it.

My MIL showed up messed up on pills to our wedding. We have major issues. When my DH said something to her after we got back from our honeymoon, she tried to blame him for family issues and so on... we still aren't speaking. She tried to reach out tonight and put everything behind us. No apology, no feelings of regret. Girl bye. We don't have time for that.

My FH mother loves me, almost overbearingly. My mother however....doesn't care for FH one bit. In fact she would prefer I leave him. So yeah, I'd say we have fmil issues, just flipped.

I would never complain about my FMIL again after reading the stories I'm seeing in this discussion.

My ex-mil was the starting of the end for my previous marriage. She broke into our home, refused to return my daughter to me until I made a parenting plan with her (which I did not), had to call the cops on her and have her removed from our property, got bent out of shape when I didn't want to breastfeed my 2 day old in front of her and told everyone I was hiding the baby from her. My ex never stood up for our family, he didn't want to take sides so nothing was ever done to stop her. She hasn't seen the kids since we divorced. If you have mil issues, resolve them as best as possible. It drove a wedge between us fast. It wasn't the reason we divorced, but a part of me hated him for letting her get away with everything she did.

I love my soon to be mil, it's such a relief. We probably talk more than fh and her do.

@SoontobeMrs2017 I have the same issue with my FMIL, he is the first of 2 boys to get married and FH said she would say to him before he met me that when he got married he would forget all about her. Even though I know she is happy her son is getting married, she picked fights with him about petty stuff, she is (knock on wood) starting to get better, like you I've learned what to say and what not to say around her, as well as to stop taking some of the things she says to me so personally.