Monetary gifts only?

Yes it is. People do not even need to bring a gift. Let alone have you tell them you want money. You should probably register somewhere or end up with gifts you do not like.

Yep, very tacky.

We registered and I did have a bridal shower for my side of the family (and I did invite a couple of his immediate family members to it) and we also had a couple's shower. My husband's niece threw our couple's shower and she came up with a poem which i'm quite sure she found bits and pieces from the internet and included it on the invitation. She tied on the poem to the back of the couple's shower invitation and thru word of mouth they spread that we really had alot of the stuff, and that we preferred money. My co-workers also threw me a shower and I received some items from my registry and also some cash. So we ended up with some gifts and also cash. At our Couple's shower, his niece had a "wishing well" that she made and our guests dropped their cards. A couple of people also brought us photoframes (because they know i'm big into snapping photos).

That is WONDERFUL !!!!! May I use this poem and the idea????? Elegantly put.

Thank you very much, I knew there was a way to do it tactfully. However, I will register as well.

You may. His niece is very crafty- i'm not sure how she made the well. The bottom of it is just cardboard. She also printed part of the poem and printed it out on a paper that was on top of the favors. I've always been brought up to give family members and friends a gift/cash when they are getting married, so I guess I don't see it as tacky. I do view it as tacky to not give anything- even if it's just a card- especially when you've given to them or your parents gave to them. The people at our couple's shower only want the best for us and were immediate friends and family, and I must say we did pretty good with what we collected.

Thanks again, we will definitely use this.

You're very welcome! Glad I could help. I was hesitant to use it in the beginning when my husband and niece presented it to me, but i'm glad we did it. I managed to put about 75 things on my main registry and I registered at more than one place because my family shops at a couple of places. I registered for toasting flutes and a cake serving set. I didn't get the flutes and was hoping someone would get me those, just so I wouldn't have to buy them for the wedding and they were something I wanted for my reception. I did get the nice cake serving set, which was very nice But with money from the other shower I was able to get the flutes anyways. Luggage is another thing some people will register for, but we really didn't need that. And I also registered for more pots because I love pots

Thats a totally cute idea. I just wrote it in a little card that if they wished to honor us with a gift that we would appreciate gift cards from target , walmart or restaurants. I've seen it done before and it didn't bother me to give a gift card but I also bought them something too. We recieved ALOT of gifts and very generous ones at that. I think its easier for people to just buy a giftcard at any store . Some people even gave cash or wrote us a check.I think it depends where you're from but since there are alot of couples that already live together now a days its becomming more normal to give money gifts or giftcards I like it because I don't have to lug a heavy box of wine glasses to a party.

Yes, don't ask for money.. but Mrs. Paula poem will definitely work (I love the poem btw)

A good line is the "your presence is present enough", in addition to a small registry (hey, if you like movies, go ahead and register for DVDs!), you can also put on your registry page stores/restaurants you visit a lot (Lowes, Target, etc) and that would appreciate gift cards.

But it's a gift, so it's voluntary and while most people will want to get you something, you shouldn't tell them what to do. Just leave suggestions.

I don't want people to think that by the way the post read that we were just going to ask for money. I just wanted suggestions of how to ask for preferred donations tactfully. The giftcard idea is good as well.

You can register at Home Depot or Lowes. After we bought our house, we spent so much time at Home Depot getting things we needed.

Even cute little poems are still a bit tacky and rarely come off well. They say don't register at all, and people will get the hint- but people want to buy you something.

Everyone can use new towels or drapes. Just keep a small registry and when people ask- just say you had a hard time thinking of things because you have everything!

I agree it is rather tacky ... how about a honeymoon registry, granted I find those extremely tacky as well, as if you are saying, "hey come to my wedding but hey pay for my honeymoon" but those go over much better than a sweet cute little poem, my family, FS family and my friends would take major offense to that and I'd be thought of as being even MORE selfish and self-centered than I am right now ...

I am really not trying to offend anyone (really, I promise!!) but just offering my two cents...I personally would really dislike receiving a cutesy poem asking me for money. I just feel like the little poems are better suited to kids' birthday parties than weddings. Maybe that's just because of the crowd I'm in...my family and friends are all sort of sarcastic people, and I just can't imagine them reacting well to a little poem! But by all means, do whatever you like. If you know your crowd, and it would work for them, go for it.

Different strokes for different folks....In our family/culture, gifts are for engagement parties and bridal showers. Cash is usually what one gives as a gift at the wedding, and most often one tries to cover the cost of their dinner. I agree with Kate L. In my family, a poem, or any request for a wedding present would be considered bad manners. But then again, in my family, those card boxes are considered bad manners. The loot bag is the way to go.

For the record, since we are having a DW, and we have been married before,and have everything we need, when we are asked if we registered, we reply, "Your prescence is gift enough." I will not use a box or a loot bag.

I prefer the word of mouth method best. There were novelty things that I liked fom Crate and Barrel etc so I registered. Some folks will always prefer to do a gift instead of cash so create a small one for them. I was raised to give money as well but I do consider it tacky to ask for it no matter how gentle.

With a fully stocked house, I didn't need alot of presents and I personally didn't like the idea of a honeymoon registry- I think they are tacky. And I don't think it's selfish of me to expect my family and friends to give me some type of gift, and I think I deserved a shower just as much as any other bride. Why should I not get anything because i'm 33 and somewhat established? I've never been married, and everything i've gotten I earned. I didn't originally want to do it, but decided it was a nice way to put it, and we did have our immediate family tell others thru word of mouth. The front of our invitation was very normal, and stated where we were registered. Everyone who got an invitation came to our shower. We had a very nice shower, with way too much food and our people were quite generous.

I'll have that same issue, and i'm not trying to put alot on my registry so when its done, i would prefer guests to give me money!! i always give money at weddings so hopefully it comes back to me lol wishful thinking