Mom's wearing white

Ohhh goodness I would be highly t-d off! Have you let her know how you feel about it?

Maybe she wouldn't mind exchanging it for something else?

No it's definitely not a trick I will talk to her, but I'm holding off because I want to think it through first. I don't think it will really bother me that she's wearing white...but I just feel kind of hurt that she bought it without asking how I felt. And that's probably exactly what I'll say to her.

How would you guys feel if this happened to you...big deal? or no big deal? I don't want to over react!

I am not big on any traditional rules on when it comes to weddings. But the not wearing white rule is the ONE that should ALWAYS be observed! I don't think you need to go flying off the handle at her but hell yeah you have every right to ask her not to wear it. In the end she will be the one looking like the jerk here. If I was at a wedding and saw the mother wearing white I'd assumed she was an ass who was trying to steal her daughter's spotlight. I'm not saying she'd be able to, but I'd assume that she was trying to and that's horrible! You are not over reacting by being bothered by this. In fact I think many of us would be reacting even more than you are! Definitely have a talk with her about it.

Since you said you really don't mind if she wears off white, I think the issue here is that she didn't discuss it with you before she bought the dress. Don't Mother of the Brides discuss these things with their daughters? So this is the bigger issue...and you probably feel disrespected.

If I were you, I'd ask her why she chose an off white gown when she had taught you that this was a very FAUX PAS thing to do at a wedding. Ask her if her intent was to upstage you since that is what she taught you it meant. If her explanation satisfies you, and you don't mind that she wears it, the heck with tradition! It is your day and you are the star. Even if she gets ugly about it, and ends up wearing it, remember that you are still the star and she will just look kind of silly and guests will talk about it.

I had my future mother-in-law (my FH's step-mom) try and tell me that she wanted to wear HER wedding dress to MY wedding. I almost passed out from anger. Fortunately, my future SIL spoke up and told her that it was tacky and rude for her to wear her wedding dress.

I can't understand why she wouldn't talk to you before hand. My mom has even asked me what color I want her wear. You'd think that would be something that she would want your input considering it's your wedding.

I would definitely talk to her and tell her that you are upset that she didn't consult with you first. Maybe you should also look at the dress and see if it's even a dress that could upstage your dress. If it looks like a plain off-white dress maybe that will ease your mind.

Holy Crap Debbie!! I know you said your FH's step mom is a monster-in-law but she actually wanted to wear her wedding dress to your wedding?!?!?!!? That totally wins the prize for rudest MIL!!! WOW!! Good luck with all that!

Oh yeah, she's a winner alright! I couldn't believe that she actually wanted to wear her wedding dress. My fiance told me that he thought she was just kidding but I told him that I'm pretty sure that she was serious. I was completely speechless when she said that. I mean, to say she was going to be wearing a black dress or even an off-white dress but her WEDDING dress? The woman is insane.

Oh Debbie! That's awful. At least someone talked her out of it. Seriously, if she showed up to your wedding wearing her wedding dress, people would be wondering about her mental health.

Lauren, I wouldn't blame you for being TOed with her. I would see if she had something else in mind to get or even offer to go with her to the store she bought it at and look for something else she'll look stunning in w/o upstaging you in. That's just disrespectful to you the Bride. My mom was respectful of my sister and wore black like us Bridesmaids wore. My stepmom even found a light champagne lace dress to wear to compliment my dad's Champagne tie and vest (eventhough I swear my stepmom dresses to formal occasions like she's wearing a nightgown). My mom had even asked me what she should wear to mine and hubby's and I told her she's wearing the same dress as the bridesmaids, but the only one wearing purple (her color for me as a child). It will be her special MOB/MOH color. I was surprised the hubby didn't get TOed with me saying I wanted our son in a white tux and him matching us with our white/gold color scheme for Bride and Groom. Debbie, oh wow, I'm sorry but that's just rude.

Debbie, I meant about your FMIL, not your comments. That would royally irk me.

I don't know what I would have done if my SIL hadn't stepped in and said something. I'd probably be living the movie Monster-in-Law! LOL I'm sure if you've read some of my other posts you'd know that this woman has been trying me nuts for quite some time now. Everything from wanting her daughter to wear a tiara (she's our flowergirl/jr. bridesmaid, also keep in mind I'm not wearing a tiara) to having her wear white gloves to having her wear a white dress that I specifically said NO to. It's enough to make someone start having a drinking problem! LOL

I would definitely ask her to wear another colour...can she order the same dress in another colour?

my mom wanted to wear black (her favourite dress colour for some reason)but i told her that she is not going to my funeral...so we have compromised and she is going to find something in burgundy, dark green, etc.

That is pretty rude... So far I havent had that problem occur... If shes already purchased it and cant return it... how bout finding something that can cover it? Like a nice cropped blazer in a different color, perhaps a royal blue, or burgandy? that could help break it up a bit... yes it wont change the fact that she chose a white dress without discussing with you but, that could be a nice alternative if exchanging or returning isnt an option.

I would definitely have a talk with your mom ASAP. Try to keep a cool head but that can be difficult in this situation. I too would be upset if my mom said she was wearing off-white. As someone else stated, this is the #1 rule you follow at weddings: only the bride wears white. I think this is tacky and she almost seems jealous like she has to have some one the spot light on her. My mom asked me what color I wanted her to wear. My stepmom even asked me about her attire. Remember that it's your day and you should be wearing white. Maybe offer to your mom to go shopping with her and you can help her pick out a great dress, in any color but white or any version of white. Let us know how it goes.