Mom skipping the wedding

With all do respect your mom needs to chill. None brings their mother to their bachelorette party. Is there a deeper issue because to me this seems a bit petty to get mad and not attend your child’s wedding. If it means a lot to you if she’s not there then I say go ahead and buy the bullet and apologize, but I would not keep apologizing for the rest of my life. You’ll eventually have to put an end to her behavior, it’s abusive.

That’s not a mom event. My mom wouldn’t expect to be invited to that. Bridal shower, maybe. Bachelorette party, absolutely not.

You don’t owe her an apology. She needs to grow up honestly.

Moms shouldnt really go to things like that, yet it may not only be her regret if she doesnt go, if it will hurt your day for her to not be there then i would apologize (being the bigger person). It seems like she wants attention so an apology for not inviting her might be just enough. I havent talked to my mom since january to do her immature actions, except for when i decided even though i was still not ready to talk to her to tell her i loved her and wanted her there and she told me she was still mad (for no legit reason) lol but that she would of course be there. Im sure your mom wants to be there just wants to feel included as much as possible.

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Okay....do you and your mom have a history? (I am a bit older so trying to be sage......lol) One your mom started swearing, I would be DONE.

I would talk to your mom, DON'T APOLOGIZE, have a third person there to referee and be a witness. Explain to her why the bachelorette was for you and same age guests. If she choose to skip the wedding....oh well. She can't get that day back. Her loss, really.

Your mom was WAAAAY out of line.

Since you already apologized and said you didn't realize it was that big of a deal to her and based on her reaction I feel like she owes you an apology for the name calling and yelling at you, that's just uncalled for.

So, I’ve already apologized. But I’m thinking maybe I need to be more persistent?

And like many of you have mentioned, I definitely am worried about her pulling something at the wedding. When I first got engaged, she said she was “going to tell Marlena off at the wedding.” Marlena is my step mom.

She was was also invited to my shower, but didn’t attend because it was too far of a drive.

View Quoted Comment I love that idea! I think I’ll send a letter. At this point, it’s the best I can do.

Thank you

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Photocopy that letter before you send it, then send it certified mail. Bring a copy to the wedding just in case.

This is obviously not my fight, but I'm frankly super irate on your behalf, and I don't want her a) being displeased with the contents of the letter and therefore claiming she never received it and that that's somehow your fault or b) getting it, showing up to the wedding, and then proceeding to lie through her teeth to anyone who will listen about what you wrote in order to stir up more drama.

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Yep yep yep on sending it certified and having a copy at the wedding. Heck, I would put it up on a projector to silence her.

I am sorry you have to deal with this during your planning.

Does your mom have a history of "going off" on people? Or stirring up the pot?

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I didn't think it could get worse than your original post, but wow! Just wow! Sorry you're having to deal with this, and all less than two weeks before your wedding! I hope you're able to reconcile before the wedding, its sounds like you've done MORE than enough to reach out and try to make amends. BTW you're not in the wrong here--is it traditional for mothers to go to bachelorette parties in your family? I've never heard of that and it seems a lot of PP agree. I hope you have time for some self-care leading up to the wedding and can enjoy knowing you're marrying the love of your life soon!

View Quoted Comment She definitely does.
She has a temper. And she doesn’t care who knows it.
In July she showed up at my sisters house, making a scene because her roommates were giving her issues.
She also tried running over my step mom in a parking lot and hit another car instead...

I love her. She raised me. But she is the definition of drama. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Do not coddle her. Do not legitimize her immature response. Just keep calm and plan your wedding. If she doesn't come, she can regret it later.

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"She also tried running over my step mom in a parking lot..."

"She also tried running over my step mom in a parking lot..."

"She also tried running over my step mom in a parking lot..."

HOLY CRAP! I'm suddenly way less concerned about her feelings and much more concerned that there could be another attempted murder during your wedding...

I think it depends how close you are to my mom. If that was my mom, I'd try a little harder and apologize even though I don't think it's a problem. That's just me, sometimes I apologize and try to make things right because it's not worth an argument or a fight in my eyes.

However, if that was anyone else, I'd tell them to screw off and idgaf. Want to be petty like that? I can be petty too.

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Seriously. This is legit crazy-pants call-the-cops and possibly commit to a psych hold.

Are you sure you want her at your wedding???

View Quoted Comment All of this. I think I'd try and incorporate outside perspective in dealing with your mom. If her behavior has been outlandish in the past, I'd have a plan to escort her out if anything comes up at the wedding. Seriously, this has me so so SO worried for you and your big day, especially if she's mentioned having it out with your stepmom at the wedding.

Please please please appoint someone to handle anything like this, you don't need a brawl overshadowing such a happy day!

Your mother is acting inappropriately. Bachelorette parties are not a place for mothers in the first place. And all her actions (name calling, entitlement, blocking you...)show she's not thinking about you nor cares enough to support you, without putting herself first. You have nothing to apologize for. This is all on her.

It's hard to tell because we don't specifically know why you didn't invite her , that matters.

OH man that’s rough. I’m sorry she did that to you. Honestly I don’t think it’s the mothers place to go on the bachelorette. However if you want her there you may just have to apologize again for the sake of making her happy. I don’t know your family dynamics so it’s really tough. But you didn’t do anything wrong.

Call her bluff. Do nothing. If she wants to miss a big moment in her daughters life because of something so petty, let her. That will be on her, not you.

Moms are normally not at bach parties. She had no right to freak out over this.