This is really long, and I would deeply appreciate any advice anyone can give me. I've been so preoccupied worrying about this and want to avoid a family feud...
Last weekend, my mom called me very excited to tell me that she just booked my sister's bridal shower venue. A few weeks ago, my sister told us that she didn't feel she needed a shower, but if my mom insisted, we could all plan it together (I'm the MOH). My sister was clear that she wanted to be involved in planning the shower. When my mom called me, she told me it will cost around $5k to $6k, and she would invite around 60 people. I was so shocked and didn't want to crush her excitement that I didn't protest, I just said it sounds good. During the conversation, she also said she'd like to put my name on the invitation as the 'host,' but didn't ask me for $ at the time. I'm 26 and have 2 jobs & go to school at night & am preparing for the MCAT, so I don't have the time or money to contribute to this the way my mom probably wants. If it was up to me I would've gone with my sister's preference and had an at-home DIY small gathering or a small wine-tasting at a vineyard (like 7 people) if Covid allowed.
My mom has been so emotionally invested in this wedding that I'm scared to bring up the budget and ask what she expects me to pay. She is paying $30k for the wedding, and the groom's parents are paying $20k, so it's crazy to my mom that I wouldn't be able to pay a measly couple of thousand for the shower. I know my sister wouldn't want us to spend so much on this, but I don't want to stress her out with this or ruin a potential surprise party.
I'm really looking for advice on talking to my mom about this and telling her I can't afford to throw a bridal shower, and whether I should try to convince my mom to share the guest list and theme with my sister before we plan too much of it.
