moh Pregnancy will Likely Preclude her Attendance

This really can only be you and your FH’s decision. What it comes down to is what’s more important for you guys- the perfect venue or your sister’s ability to attend. If she’s supposed to be your MOH it sounds like she’s pretty important to you.

If it were me, even though my sister and I aren’t super close, her attendance would be more important than the venue. I’d rather get married in a community center or local park with all my friends and family there than choose a venue that meant some of them couldn’t attend.

Okay, have your Wedding how, when, and where you want to.

Those that can and want to attend will and those that can’t or don’t want to won’t.

If the Austin folks are pitching in towards the cost, then that’s fine.

With that, I will state that my rule was: input/opinions cost 💵. That kept a lot of mouths shut.

Now, here’s a suggestion for your venue problem for that location and a few cost cutting maneuvers.

We’re using a city-owned facility with a very nice Lake view, seats 200, Chairs, Kitchen, and Tables included with rental, and we can bring our own alcohol, drinks, and food.

My DoC (who I also had a significant discount with due to my relationship with another person) had excellent Vendor relationships, resulting in deep discounts for me on the Catering, Cake, DJ, Photographer, and Servers.

I diy’d the 💐s and Floral arrangements.

I purchased my Table Linens online.

I found that I could buy and keep them for much less than it cost to rent them.

Do not set or reset any wedding date strictly around the due date of a pregnancy, or even a few people's pregnancies. For all you know, your sister could have a mis, get pregnant again, and not make your new date. Or you set it months early, so she will not be so far along, and she will be put on bed rest at 5 months, and you will have paid $10-15 K more to stay local, only to still have her miss the wedding. One of the first cousins I am closest to was boxed in to a 3 month window, due to her ending a job, and starting 14 weeks later at one out of the country, and her FI ending military service, months off, starting grad school abroad. They moved the wedding from Manitoba to South of Montreal to be withing 2 hours drive, not multiple flight connections, and juggle around her sister, and 2 of us first cousins she wanted as MOH and her BM, all three if us pregnant. Well, plans were cheaper, good for all of us. But though the wedding should have been 4 weeks after one birth, six after another, and 6 weeks before my due date, Mother Nature intervened. Her sister was a full ten months when she delivered late ( healthy 10 pound boy), only 4 days before the wedding. While she was hospitalized still, to remove kidney stones they could not touch while she was pregnant. The BM had her baby as scheduled, and still did not make it because she fell over her cocker spaniel and her ankle needed surgical pinning, 2 days before the wedding . I made it to the wedding, 7.5 months pregnant, and delivered in the Inn itself, 2 hours after the wedding reception ended, all of us including the B & G stuck and unable for them to leave at midnight on their honeymoon, or me get to a hospital with minutes of warning, due to a ferocious storm that brought down trees on the country road where the Inn was. And though people from Finland, Greenland, Jamaica, and Manitoba all made it by the day before the wedding, more than 20 local families never did because the local storm hours before the wedding stopped them. My point: things are to difficult if you juggle weddings by months or locations for pregnancy due dates. 3 out of 3 did not go as planned, in this case. And in the end, one really missed due to a broken ankle, and a storm messed up more people than everything. I have seen couples stand on their hears and spin, trying to accommodate other people's already planned weddings, and pregnancy due dates. And so often the pregnancy they planned around does not go as scheduled, it does but baby is I'll and parents do not feel like celebrating with baby in an ICU for 10 weeks, or whatever. Unless you can set a 5 month window with your sister's due date in the middle, no wedding then, plan without her date as a consideration. Get a wedding you can afford, and do the best you can. People miss weddings of their nearest and dearest, and the world does not end. And other people, including your parents, sometimes miss the "perfect" date you managed to set around 20 pregnancies and other weddings. Because of a contagious strep throat, or hip surgery. At some point you cannot hold up a wedding or make everything revolve around one date that may never happen as scheduled, your sister's due date. Or around any 1 or 2 " essential" people. Do the best you can. Don't spend 10 - 30 K extra to have a Chicago wedding, and maybe delay getting a house or going to school or having your own baby, because you overspent on a wedding just to accommodate one person's maybe due date.
We spent just under 15 K, within out budget earned by our working extra hours. We did it 2.5 hours west of Boston, though Boston would have been more convenient to many. But we priced things, and would have had to spend at minimum 25K more, for fewer guests, anywhere in the Boston area. Several other cities, including Chicago, are similarly outrageous for a lower budget wedding. Do what works overall. Good luck.

Sounds like you want to please your family more than your own wishes and desires. It’s your wedding enjoy it. Have it where you want to , plan it how you want to this should be about you and your fiancé your family should be celebrating that as well.

I'm going to go against most people here. We're talking about your sister. not some random guest. Presumably you're very close with her if you asked her to be your MOH. I can't imagine getting married without my sister there. Yes, unexpected things can happen and you never know who might not be able to come at the last minute. I understand how frustrating it is to find the perfect, affordable venue. Years from now when you look back on your wedding day how will you feel if your sister wasn't there? You and FH have to decide which is more important- your venue or your sister being there.

Besides the issue with your sister, I'd think carefully about the potential impact of choosing a location for the wedding where virtually everyone has to travel (especially if family is already campaigning for you to NOT do that). That's a destination wedding, and like many DWs, it sounds like this location will save you money, but potentially cost your guests a lot in travel expenses. Only you know your guests well enough to try and guess how they'll feel about that, how it might impact your acceptance rate, and how you'll feel about it if critical people cannot attend. On this forum, there is a lot of, "it's your day! Do what you want and those who truly love & support you will be there." Maybe that's true, but I think it is often naive and potentially leads to disappointment and hurt feelings. We have a relative who chose to get married 3000 miles from 80% of the guest list because it was "such a charming Inn and SO much less expensive!" Maybe for B&G, but a quick estimate was that her guests spent at least $75,000 to attend their "bargain wedding" and the B & her mother were MAD at people who declined. Only you can decide what's more important to you -- your vision or making things easier for people who love you, including your sister. Good luck!

Like PP said, this is really a matter of priorities. What’s more important; having your sister at your wedding or getting married at this venue? I personally couldn’t imagine getting married without my sister/MOH in attendance. I also couldn’t imagine booking my wedding (a glorified party that can really take place any time) and making my family choose between attending or spending time with my sister (having a child, a huge life altering experience.) That doesn’t seem fair at all. If I was you, I would be extremely concerned that my parents would choose to go spend time with their new grandchild over coming to my wedding.

This happened to me as well. I got engaged last June and less thank a month later, my sister announced to me that she was pregnant. I was hoping to get married in April (off season, better prices), but that was also around her due date. My FH and I ultimately decided to put the wedding off for a year... I didn’t want to feel stressed or have her not be at the wedding (she’s my only sister). It sucked at the time, but I think it worked out better because I had more time to think and plan what I really wanted and I was still able to save money. Good luck, I totally feel your pain!

Most of the guests for my wedding will have to travel, since a majority of the guests will be my family and friends, and they're all along the east coast. I moved to Colorado a few years ago, so they'll all have to travel about 3,000 miles to get to my wedding. I'm already expecting at least 25 of the 75 people I'm inviting won't be able to go, and I'm ok with that. If you want to have a wedding that's far away from your guests, you just have to be willing to accept that people won't be able to go. As for your sister, maybe try talking to her to see how she's feeling about it? Does she want you to change your plans? Would she be upset that you're thinking about specifically catering to her (which can be really embarrassing for some people). If she doesn't want you to change your venue plan just for her, and you love your venue choice, don't change it.

For her to be due in May, she must have just peed on a stick. Until she makes it into the doctors and has some bloodwork and ultrasounds done, that due date is only an estimate. However, I personally would not want to get married knowing all along my sister wouldn’t be there. I know pregnancies are tricky things and lots could happen that could prevent or enable her to be there, but i couldn’t proceed with the belief she wouldn’t be able to attend. This is something you need to figure out if you can live with. I totally get saving money and how obscene the costs are for a wedding. But is that specific place that important that you’d be willing to plan to not have your sister attend? That’s something only you would know and only you would have to live with.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. To clarify re: travel; my family is in Texas, FH's family is in New England/Nevada, his friends are in NE/west coast, my friends are in Chicago. No matter where we choose to have the wedding, 80%+ of people will have to travel. I have lived in Chicago for 12+ years and never felt attached to Austin, and just can't picture myself getting married there. Nevertheless, I have looked into venues near my family and they are just as expensive, and more season-prohibitive due to the heat. This is why we've decided to look mainly at venues in New England. I'll also mention that my family is not helping financially, which is fine, it just means we have to work with our limited budget.

After reading your replies, my gut is telling me I'll regret not having my sister there. To reduce costs the venue fee we could have the wedding (at a completely different venue) on a week day (like a Monday or Thursday), but this would mean people traveling would have to take time off from work. Obviously this isn't ideal either. I'd love to have the wedding on a Saturday and everyone could have a relaxed weekend away without interfering with work but Saturday is 2x more expensive and cost-prohibitive for us. I feel exhausted and defeated about this whole thing and we've seriously considered just eloping to save the money. Anyway, thanks again for your responses and input.

I mean, there's no way i would prioritize my wedding venue over my sister attending. But that doesn't mean that's the right choice for everyone. There are thousands of wedding venues in the country that will work in your budget and your sister can attend. But we can't answer that question for you.