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moh advice needed

Furure Mrs., on May 25, 2020 at 2:11 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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I need some advice on how to handle a situation with my MOH, as I'm not sure exactly what to do.

When I asked my sister to be my MOH she was so excited and immediately started asking what I wanted my bachelorette party to look like, and pretty much the only thing I said was that I don't want alcohol involved (unless it's someone having a cocktail with a meal or something) because I don't drink and don't enjoy the atmosphere of being around drunk people. For months she told me all of the fun ideas she and my other bridesmaids were coming up with, but then all of a sudden decided she didn't want to throw a bridal shower or bachelorette party because it would mean her having to attend them either on regularly scheduled days off or use vacation time.

Now she feels guilty not doing anything and said that on a weeknight the week of the wedding she wants to make a big pitcher of some cocktail recipe she just found and have the other bridesmaids over to my house to drink (she is staying with FH and I the week before the wedding). I'm trying to be appreciative that she wants to do something for me, but I would honestly rather not do anything than what she has planned. She also doesn't seem to realize that she is the only one who won't have to work early the next morning, and chances are that only one of my other bridesmaids would be able to join us and only for an hour at most.

Is it rude to say something to her about this? If not, how would you go about it? I don't want to seem selfish or unappreciative, but I am just not at all interested in this at all.

5 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on May 26, 2020 at 5:23 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    “I really appreciate the offer, but this wouldn’t work for everyone’s schedules. We can have a girls night just the two of us instead.”
    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    It's totally fine to say you'd prefer not to do that - especially since you have already set a precedent that you didn't want to do anything revolving around drinking. Having a cocktail event for a bride that doesn't drink makes zero sense.

    You could suggest an alternative - perhaps a craft activity related to the wedding, baking cookies, or a mini spa night, like doing face masks or some other feel good beauty treatment before the wedding. If you think the timing is just bad, then its okay to just decline, but if you want to do something but don't want it to be drinking centered, just remind her of that and ask if you can do something else instead.

    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Be honest with her. Schedule an event for justthe two of you
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    I would tell her truth. It seems really odd that she would want to do something like this when she knows you don't drink. I would see if you could do something with just her. Dinner, movie night, getting your nails done, or something else that you would like.

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    I'd just tell her the truth. If it doesn't work with people's schedules, it doesn't fit, and that isn't your fault. Maybe you can plan something just the two of you?

    • Reply

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