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Audrey
Dedicated January 2018

mog dress help

Audrey, on December 29, 2017 at 4:05 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 57

OK, so my FMIL has been struggling to find a dress to wear for the wedding. She is gone shopping multiple times and hasn’t found anything she likes. However, she did find a dress she liked and sent me a picture for approval. Now I think it’s a lovely dress, however, it is not MOG appropriate in my...
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OK, so my FMIL has been struggling to find a dress to wear for the wedding. She is gone shopping multiple times and hasn’t found anything she likes. However, she did find a dress she liked and sent me a picture for approval. Now I think it’s a lovely dress, however, it is not MOG appropriate in my opinion. I think it is too “attention getting” (as the day is not “hers” persay), not age appropriate, and basically I told her “no” by saying: “It is a lovely dress and I don’t want to be mean by saying no but I do not think it is a dress for a mother of the groom”.

With all that being said.... I’m really not one to say anything to anyone about what to do, wear, say, etc. but it really wasn’t appropriate in my opinion. And now tonight I asked her if she found a dress to wear and she said yes but it is a “surprise” but my fiancé approved it and her husband did too. When I finally got her to show me, it was the dress I told her no on. I am really hurt she ignored my request to not wear that dress but I want to know if I am being overly sensitive/letting the stress get to me/being dramatic...

What do I do? Suck it up and let it go? Or tell her I don’t appreciate her ignoring my request? Please, any advice or criticism welcome... I’m at a loss.

PS. Sorry for the terrible photos of photos... but that’s all I have to work with to show...



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57 Comments

  • L
    Expert April 2018
    lindabelcher ·
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    I understand that she asked you your opinion and then completely disregarded it when you were honest with her, and I would have said the same thing, but it's over now. She picked the dress, and her husband and your future husband both liked it, so let it go. No big deal. Smiley winking
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  • Audrey
    Dedicated January 2018
    Audrey ·
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    Hi everyone! Thanks for the honesty. I know I must sound crazy and so I do appreciate the feedback. It is not the worst dress, of course, so I had a feeling I was being dramatic. I do not want to be the person who dictates everything and this is just the one thing I gave my honest opinion on to her because I was asked and it usually isn’t like me. So maybe I’m just upset to have gotten the courage to be honest and it didn’t matter because I was ignored? I don’t know, I’m losing my dang mind these last two weeks. (So much for a year and a half engagement to try to make things easier planning? Ha!)


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  • cantwait4thedate
    VIP November 2017
    cantwait4thedate ·
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    UGGH, for those of you saying you are "lenient"!! It is not up to you to decide what someone else can wear, unless they are your child or they are wanting to wear white/off-white/a wedding dress!!

    This is so not worth stressing over. So what if this dress is "trendy"?? It will in NO WAY reflect on you, and she has the shape for it, so let it go.

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  • Jaimee
    Master October 2019
    Jaimee ·
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    OP, to use your own words, I do think your reaction is a tad dramatic after seeing the dress she chose.

    She loves the dress and wants to wear it. I'd count your blessings because there have been similar posts about this issue on WW and the dresses that someone chose to wear were, well, in a word: YIKES.

    Also, if she told you that your wedding dress, a dress you loved, wasn't appropriate for the woman marrying her son, you'd probably stick with your original plan. Try to look at this situation if the roles were reversed, with her in your shoes and you in hers; personally, if I were in the position, I'd ignore any comments saying the dress I chose and love isn't the one based on someone else's opinion.

    Planning a wedding is stressful and, in the grand scheme of things, attire isn't the most pressing thing. I wouldn't make this your hill to die on.

    Let her wear the dress. It looks lovely. If you need anymore convincing, just Google, "worst mother of the groom dresses." I think you'll definitely be more confident in her choice after that; I just looked, and again: YIKES.
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  • Audrey
    Dedicated January 2018
    Audrey ·
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    I will totally do that! Thank you! And ya I must say, if the roles were reversed I’d be more hurt than I am now... shoot just makes me feel worse. But you guys are right.
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  • cantwait4thedate
    VIP November 2017
    cantwait4thedate ·
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    @LB, I really want to know what she ended up wearing?????

    eta: I checked out the "worst MOG dresses link" and I was going to post my favorite, but it wouldn't let me. The bride and groom do NOT look happy Smiley tongue


    http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/dresses-and-style/mother-of-the-bride/worst-mother-of-the-bride-dresses-ever/21299-2.html

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  • cantwait4thedate
    VIP November 2017
    cantwait4thedate ·
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    Well said @Muriel!

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    We always have to keep in mind that when someone asks your opinion, that's ALL they are asking for- your opinion, not your permission.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    She looks great in that dress! Just because you're getting married does not give you the right to dictate what she wears. I'd apologize and say that you re-thought it, and that the dress will be fine.

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  • Bride2B
    Expert June 2018
    Bride2B ·
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    I like her choice, and I think she will look great at the wedding. It's appropriate and she loves it, as does her husband and FH.

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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    I like the dress! I don't see why anyone would care if it's "attention getting." The dress seems classy from what I can see. I say let it go; there's no need to make a big deal out of this. My mother has spent exactly zero seconds asking me what I thought she should wear to the wedding. My FMIL asked me if I had any preferences, floor length or not, I said no and that was it. They're grown ups and get to decide what they want to wear, end of story.

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  • NinjaBride
    Super June 2018
    NinjaBride ·
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    I think it looks great. It’s not super matronly, but if that’s what she feels comfortable in are you really going to make her pick something else?
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  • H
    November 2018
    happeningmom ·
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    I am 54, the MOB, have raised 4 adult children, 36, 33, 29, 27 and have 10 grandchildren. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that dress. In fact before I responded I sent the pic to my youngest, the current bride, and asked for her opinion. She saw nothing wrong with in and in fact said she liked it for me to wear to the wedding. Just because someone is the MOG, or MOB, doesn't mean they have to dress frumpy, out of style, old fashioned, or be covered from head to toe. If the dress was white, similar to yours, had major bling, or was cut down to her belly button or up to her crotch then it would be in appropriate. Let her feel good and be proud of having her child getting married.

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  • Mrs. Haug
    Devoted June 2018
    Mrs. Haug ·
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    Yeah that’s not my favorite dress and my FMIL wouldn’t wear that for our wedding but if she has already bought it, let it go. I don’t blame you for being upset that she disregarded what you said but that was her decision.
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