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Audrey
Dedicated January 2018

mog dress help

Audrey, on December 29, 2017 at 4:05 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 57
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OK, so my FMIL has been struggling to find a dress to wear for the wedding. She is gone shopping multiple times and hasn’t found anything she likes. However, she did find a dress she liked and sent me a picture for approval. Now I think it’s a lovely dress, however, it is not MOG appropriate in my opinion. I think it is too “attention getting” (as the day is not “hers” persay), not age appropriate, and basically I told her “no” by saying: “It is a lovely dress and I don’t want to be mean by saying no but I do not think it is a dress for a mother of the groom”.

With all that being said.... I’m really not one to say anything to anyone about what to do, wear, say, etc. but it really wasn’t appropriate in my opinion. And now tonight I asked her if she found a dress to wear and she said yes but it is a “surprise” but my fiancé approved it and her husband did too. When I finally got her to show me, it was the dress I told her no on. I am really hurt she ignored my request to not wear that dress but I want to know if I am being overly sensitive/letting the stress get to me/being dramatic...

What do I do? Suck it up and let it go? Or tell her I don’t appreciate her ignoring my request? Please, any advice or criticism welcome... I’m at a loss.

PS. Sorry for the terrible photos of photos... but that’s all I have to work with to show...



mog dress help 1

mog dress help 2

57 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Haug, on December 30, 2017 at 7:57 PM
  • Susan
    Super November 2018
    Susan ·
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    It’s not a wedding dress or a ball gown or anything that could upstage you. If she agonized over it (which it sounds like she did) and likes this one, I would just let her wear it. Do you not like the fact that it shows her shoulders? She looks great and a little skin isn’t going to take anyone’s eyes off of you.
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  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
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    You don’t get to tell her what to wear. She’s not a prop for the day and there’s nothing inappropriate about that dress. It looks pretty on her and she probably felt terrible about what you said to her and others convinced her to go with what makes her feel good. Also, I wouldn’t share pictures of people without their knowledge, that really doesn’t seem fair especially when you’re complaining about her outfit.
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  • Mrs.hays
    VIP April 2018
    Mrs.hays ·
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    I would just ignore it. She can wear what she wants and there are dresses out there that are way more inappropriate.
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  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
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    Let it go, that dress is perfectly fine for the mother of the groom and if she loves it enough to get it even though you told her no than obviously she really wanted it and felt beautiful in it.

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  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
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    The dress looks fine in my opinion, it doesn't look inappropriate one bit. I say let it go, definitely don't stress over it. As others have said she can choose her own outfit it was a courtesy to show you not a request for approval.

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  • Alana
    VIP March 2018
    Alana ·
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    I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not white. It's not a mermaid style with lace and bling. She's not wearing a veil. She has a shape and she's showing it.

    Me personally when my daughter was married, I wore a very Wang bridesmaid dress. My mom also wore a bridesmaid dress.

    For my wedding my mom is wearing a bridesmaid dress. If she is comfortable let her wear it. It won't take the attention from you and your FH
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes May 2019
    Karlie ·
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    I don't see anything wrong with that dress either! Let the stress roll away the best you can and have a wonderful wedding!
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  • MsMay
    Devoted May 2018
    MsMay ·
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    Unpopular opinion here but I agree. I don’t like it and wouldn’t want my mother in law wearing it . I think it’s the shoulder thing I don’t care for but just no!
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  • BohoRN2017
    Expert November 2017
    BohoRN2017 ·
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    The dress is fine, Yes it's too tight in the waist but I assume with the right under garments and a seamstress it will fit better. The only thing it shows it her shoulders, she doesn't have to cover up everything. Technically I don't like the style at all, it's way too trendy (sleeves) but not really a reason to tell her not to wear it.

    What at exactly is bothering you? I’m surprised you have a problem with it.
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  • Morgan
    Savvy September 2018
    Morgan ·
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    I may get a lot of resistance to this, but I would not let my FMIL wear a dress like that... for multiple reasons. For starters, it looks very "young," like something a 25 year old may wear to a party if it were 2 inches shorter (assuming your FMIL is older than like 40 here). It's also very trendy as off the shoulder dresses are. I'd prefer something more classic since I will be looking at the pictures for the rest of my life. Are you going to look at your family wedding pictures and shutter when you see your MIL? If not, then let her wear the dress, but if so, at least talk to her about your feelings versus just saying "no" and come to a compromise. I'm very lenient when it comes to what my own mom and FMIL choose to wear, but this is just not an appropriate MOG dress. Guest? Sure! But explain to her that she's too important to wear a dress like that 😉
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  • FutureMrs.V
    Super June 2018
    FutureMrs.V ·
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    I don't really see anything wrong with the dress. She's an adult and you cannot tell her how to dress. If she finally found something she feels comfortable in, she should be able to wear it. Just because it's your wedding day, doesn't mean you get control of her attire.
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Any dress that the mother of the groom wears is a dress for a mother of the groom. That dress is actually very classy. My ex-MIL wore a bright red halter top dress that cut down to under her boobs and was short. Did it bother me? Nope. She’s an adult and can wear what she wants. Her dress choices aren’t a reflection of me. Now if you came on here and told us your FMIL was looking to buy your exact dress or another bridal dress (that happened to someone on here), that would be a different story.
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  • FutureMrs.V
    Super June 2018
    FutureMrs.V ·
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    First off: fashion doesn't have an age. Just because she is the mother of the groom doesn't mean she has to be wearing a traditional modest dress. She should wear what she feels comfortable in.
    Second: off the shoulder has been around since well before the 1960s. You may see it as "trendy", but it's always been around.
    Third: you should be very "lenient" about what your mom and FMIL wear. They aren't children, they're grown women who raised both you and your partner. They are capable of picking out a dress that they feel comfortable and confident in.
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  • Morgan
    Savvy September 2018
    Morgan ·
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    You don't have to be so defensive. She asked for opinions, I gave mine. I'm not saying she has to dress like a nun, but I disagree that this dress is appropriate for a wedding for any member of the wedding party. I guess I'm just lucky that my mom and mother-in-law both value my fashion opionion (almost TOO much) and want me to basically just pick out their dresses for them. I'd be so angry if my FMIL went behind my back and lied about what dress she was wearing especially if I already told her I didn't like it - but that's a whole different issue. I'm sure there is another dress in the world that MOG can wear if OP is really agonizing over the MOG wearing this.

    @OP could you compromise and allow her to wear this to the RD? Depending on how fancy that event is?
    • Reply
  • Charli
    Expert May 2018
    Charli ·
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    The dress looks great on her. I love off the shoulder dresses. It's pretty but as a guest I definitely wouldn't be more distracted by her than the bride.
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    I agree with Morgan. My first reaction is that it doesn’t look appropriate for MOG. It looks like a dress a guest might wear not MOG.
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  • Amanda
    Super May 2018
    Amanda ·
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    I agree with other PP’s. I don’t think it’s fair that you dictate what your FMIL wears. I actually think it looks beautiful on her, and if she feels comfortable in it than that’s all that matters. It nowhere resembles a bridal gown, so I don’t think it will take away from you in any way. Her dress choice is a reflection of her, not you. I’d be picking my battles here.
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  • Sara P.
    VIP October 2018
    Sara P. ·
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    I don't think you get to dictate what your Fmil wears. Why wouldn't you want her to be comfortable and wear something she feels great in? If it's the shoulders that bother you, is it possible she'll wear a shawl anyway since your wedding is in January?
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  • Kourt
    Devoted January 2018
    Kourt ·
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    I think the dress is appropriate and don’t see why it can’t be a mother of groom dress. I don’t think mothers should have to dress in the dresses that look out of style with shoulder pads, sweaters over top, and down to their ankles. As long as they feel comfortable that’s all that matters. Maybe I’d agree with your reasoning If it was a white dress or skin tight. But I think it looks lovely.
    • Reply
  • Jill
    Expert August 2018
    Jill ·
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    Reading your post, I was picturing some hoochie, too short, too much cleavage slinky slutty thing, but then when I saw the pic, I was like oh that? It's not bad at all, not my style, but still not inappropriate. You will not be outshined, and if she feels good in it, she should wear it. The focus will all be on you anyway, don't worry about it.
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