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Audrey
Dedicated January 2018

mog dress help

Audrey, on December 29, 2017 at 4:05 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 57

OK, so my FMIL has been struggling to find a dress to wear for the wedding. She is gone shopping multiple times and hasn’t found anything she likes. However, she did find a dress she liked and sent me a picture for approval. Now I think it’s a lovely dress, however, it is not MOG appropriate in my...
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OK, so my FMIL has been struggling to find a dress to wear for the wedding. She is gone shopping multiple times and hasn’t found anything she likes. However, she did find a dress she liked and sent me a picture for approval. Now I think it’s a lovely dress, however, it is not MOG appropriate in my opinion. I think it is too “attention getting” (as the day is not “hers” persay), not age appropriate, and basically I told her “no” by saying: “It is a lovely dress and I don’t want to be mean by saying no but I do not think it is a dress for a mother of the groom”.

With all that being said.... I’m really not one to say anything to anyone about what to do, wear, say, etc. but it really wasn’t appropriate in my opinion. And now tonight I asked her if she found a dress to wear and she said yes but it is a “surprise” but my fiancé approved it and her husband did too. When I finally got her to show me, it was the dress I told her no on. I am really hurt she ignored my request to not wear that dress but I want to know if I am being overly sensitive/letting the stress get to me/being dramatic...

What do I do? Suck it up and let it go? Or tell her I don’t appreciate her ignoring my request? Please, any advice or criticism welcome... I’m at a loss.

PS. Sorry for the terrible photos of photos... but that’s all I have to work with to show...



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57 Comments

  • Jen
    Super May 2018
    Jen ·
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    Let it go. I don't care for the dress FMIL picked out but she's happy with it and feels comfortable in it. Really that is all that matters. Plus, she's an adult, you can't really dictate what she wears.

    • Reply
  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    I've seen worse.she looks good!
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  • D&G114
    Super January 2018
    D&G114 ·
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    That dress is fine. Plenty of MOG wear off the shoulder or strapless. She looks good in it too. Do not keep telling her you don't like it, it serves no purpose. It will taint your relationship and just make her feel bad when this should be a happy time for her.
    • Reply
  • pammat
    VIP October 2017
    pammat ·
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    There is nothing wrong with that dress, per se.

    She will definitely NOT upstage you in it.

    I understand your being upset that she asked and then didn't listen to you, but that dress won't make anyone side-eye her. (Unless Morgan is invited, I guess, and then she can shudder away.)

    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
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    Maybe you wanted her to look matronly but there's nothing inappropriate about the dress. She looks great.
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  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·
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    She looks great! I think it is perfectly appropriate once she gets the right undergarments. You shouldn't have told her no in the first place so just tell her that you are glad she found something she likes and move on. If you can't bear to look at the photos, don't put them up around the house. It is really not anything to fuss over.
    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    The dress is lovely and she rocks it. As for off the shoulder, for those of you who think this is "too young" and will look bad in future years in pictures, I sure hope you aren't wearing a strapless gown. Just think how terrible those will look in future years. "eye roll"


    Off the shoulder dresses have been fashionable for decades. Watch a few old movies and educate yourselves.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    Wow I think she looks fantastic. You don't have to worry at all, no one will be stealing your spotlight, you are the bride! I say let her wear what she wants, honestly it's not up to you!

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  • OctobersVeryOwn
    Dedicated October 2017
    OctobersVeryOwn ·
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    I absolutely LOVE this dress!! My mom and stepmom had on dramatic dresses. Neither were ball gowns or white. They felt comfortable in their dresses so I was happy for them. I think you should let this one go, if she's happy and comfortable, be happy for her!!

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  • Colleen
    Super October 2017
    Colleen ·
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    Don't worry about it. The length makes it look less formal. It isn't the most appropriate but it isn't horrible. My concern would be that it isn't floor length, but that depends on the style of your wedding. She will be the one looking at pictures of her in that dress forever, so it is her choice.
    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I see nothing wrong with this dress and even if there was something wrong, I couldn't imagine telling my FMIL what to wear.

    My MIL wanted to wear a dress with a train to our wedding. You know what I did? Nothing. What she wears is a reflection on her, not me.

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  • Jill
    Expert August 2018
    Jill ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    My apologies, I was not implying that ALL short cleavage showing dresses were slutty. I meant in reference to the post, I had imagined something extremely inappropriate or trashy. I know that short and cleavage can in fact be quite classy, but the image I'm was picturing was no where near what the actual dress in reference looked like. I meant no disrespect.
    • Reply
  • E&M
    Master July 2016
    E&M ·
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    The dress looks great on her.

    You can't tell her what to wear. Let her wear whatever she wants, especially if she feels good in it and has been having a hard time finding something until now.

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  • Stacey
    Super October 2018
    Stacey ·
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    I love off the shoulder dresses, I wore one in my engagement pictures. They definitely are NOT a trend, they've been around for years. I am not a fan of the bell sleeves, I feel like that is more trendy tbh, but I don't think it's inappropriate and I doubt anyone will be noticing her anyway. If I were you I would worry more about your relationship with her. Your comment obviously offended her and she is biting back.

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  • Summer987
    Super May 2018
    Summer987 ·
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    The dress looks fine to me.
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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    Wherever do people get the idea that the bride has the power or authority to "let" or "not let", "allow" or "not allow", the MOG, or anyone else for that matter, to wear a particular dress?

    Whether I like the dress or not, is irrelevant. This woman has been dressing herself since before you were born. Any choice will reflect on her not you.


    • Reply
  • Bibi
    Dedicated June 2018
    Bibi ·
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    I love it, I think she looks great in it and if she feels comfortable wearing it then major props to her. You can’t dictate what she wears, sorry to hear it upset you , but she asked for your opinion not your blessing. She is not upstaging you by any means. You should let it go, as it seems her decision is made already. She’s happy with it.
    • Reply
  • FirstTimeMOB
    October 2018
    FirstTimeMOB ·
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    I see a confident woman rocking a great-looking dress who wants to celebrate her son's wedding. Nothing wrong with that look, IMO.


    I do agree with Alforev. too...hopefully you got her permission to post that photo. Even though her face is obscured, not nice to post someone's photo without them knowing.

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  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
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    I would say this is not a hill worth dying on. Don't start out your relationship with her on a bad foot over this. It's a lovely dress. It might not be what you would choose for her but I'm guessing she doesn't get to pick your attire for this (or any future event) either.

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  • Nikki
    Super May 2018
    Nikki ·
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    I agree that this shouldn’t be your hill to die on. It’s an appropriate length if you aren’t having a super formal wedding, and even though her shoulders are exposed (oh, the inhumanity) it’s still a fairly conservative cut that keeps her covered. I’m not a huge fan of the bell sleeves, but everything else about it looks like 100 other MOB/MOG/cocktail dresses I saw while looking with my mom. And honestly? She’s got a better figure than a lot of girls half her age, so I’d let her flaunt it.
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