Let me start by saying that I have been with my FH for over 9 years, we were high school sweethearts. In those 9 years my FMIL and I have had many, many run ins so I knew wedding planning was going to be an adventure.
My latest problem is bridal shower related. My in laws have guardian ship of a 7 year old girl, she has been around since she was a newborn and we refer to her as FHs adopted little sister. When we first got engaged we decided that she, my niece(4), and my cousin(5) would be our flower girls. It has been a fight with his mom since. She encouraged the child to complain about the dress we chose for them to wear (which WE paid for and they all match) and even went as far as to buy another dress and say "well, I'll just hang on to it as a back up in case she doesn't want to wear that dress on the day" No. Just no.
So yesterday when I was setting up for class at church, she came in and started talking to FH about my bridal shower, and making fun of the fact it is going to be a tea party. I was standing RIGHT there and was already pretty frustrated with her attitude about the shower when she turned around and says to me that she might not bring Mackenzie (the flower girl). I asked why and she said "Oh, her attitude has just been out of control and I let her know that she is NOT going if she can't act right before then."
This really upset me. for multiple reasons. 1. I don't think my wedding activities should be used as a weapon. 2. I really want ALL of my bridal party there. I am personally driving 12 hours the day before to pick up my niece so she can be there even though she lives an another state. 3. I feel like this is just one more way my FMIL is trying to control my wedding.
I was highly considering telling her that if she did not plan on bringing her to the tea party, I was not sure I wanted to keep her as a flower girl, but I also feel like that might be a little dramatic.
Am I being ridiculous for expecting her at the shower? (that is specifically child friendly because of how many kids we have in our life).
