MIL issues

FMIL is a bit conniving and she isn't used to getting called on her shit. She was planning to wear a "lovely cream outfit" for the wedding.

She has asked us to invite a series of people, but offered no money toward it, and these are people my fiance doesn't even know. We invited them to the engagement party and one of these guests rang to say they can't make it, then proceeded to tell me that they are so happy for H2B, but "not for you, because I don't even know you, or heard of you until now, hahaha." So in 3 years of being together, FMIL hadn't mentioned me once... yet these people MUST be invited..

She also got stroppy when we told her that our wedding is adults only and that no, our niece/her grandaughter (that will be 18 months at the time of the wedding) will not be an exception. She went on and on about how sad it is that the photos won't have her in it, has tried to stir trouble by mentioning to relatives how lovely it will be for them to meet the baby at the wedding, knowing full well that she won't be there. It got to the point that I actually had to say "if you feel like being a part of your son's special day isn't good enough without her, I can't say that I understand, but you do what you need to do." The mother of the baby (FSIL) isn't at all annoyed and is she is so happy for us and is looking forward to having a night out. (I had spoken to her wayyy before we told FMIL, and FSIL had an adults only wedding too)

She insulted my sister at my engagement party and then implied that my mum is fat and that isn't as attractive as FMIL. She said a horrible speech at the engagement that suggested H2B would be better off playing the field longer and sleeping with a lot of other women.. (The upside, apparently she was going to save that quip for the wedding toast, but "what the hell")

FMIL doesn't ask us anything about the wedding other than about her grandaughter attending. FMIL is a pain in my ass.

FMIL Is the absolute best!!! FSIL , not so much...

Mine is amazing.. she is really stepping in the roll as my mom too. Even when her son is in the wrong she still my comforting ear. And we are learning all the cool local activities we can do together

@sarah omg I can not! Wow so sorry your FMIL is like that!

@Melissa any idea why your FMIL behaves this way?

@miss2mrs yes. Long story short our son was born at 1 pound in the NICU. She made a terrible scene in the hospital the day he was born saying he was going to die and yaddy yaddy. So I made the decision that no one would go to the hospital until I say so once he put on weight and actually looked healthy. She took it upon herself to go to the hospital after she was told not to and I told them to escort her out. From then on I have been the devil. Almost 5 years now. She wont speak at all. So this is why we are at this place.

My FH doesn't speak to his mom and hasn't in 10 years so I have no fear there. I've never met her. Lucky me! I have met his grandmother though and she is a doll.

@MelissaW you and I are in the same boat. My FMIL is so insane I honestly think she needs medication. The last straw for us was her texting FH she is "not ever allowing the Mexican Midget into my house ever again" referring to me which I'm not even Mexican and I'm 5 ft tall, short but still so rude. And her reasoning was because we didn't spend 200 dollars on her Mother's Day gift like we did last year and she somehow thought it was me not wanting to. Not the fact that you know, we're saving for our wedding which they're helping 0% lol

I'm not close to my parents either and FH and I cut ties with his parents because of the negativity and toxicity of their nature. They are horrible people and unfortunately they had us blinded for some time, but what I've learned is you can easily find love and support elsewhere and as long as you and FH are on the same page and support each other, it will all work out!

I haven't spoken to my FMIL for 6 yrs now. My DF did invited her and FFIL. I honestly don't have an interest in speaking to her. I am enjoying my wedding planning. When my mom picks her dress DF will call FMIL and let her know and color so they can color coordinate. She will have to go on her own dress shopping. I wish I had a better relationship. I tried to but I am not letting anyone disrespect me and take it.

Mine doesn't speak English and isn't interested in learning. I took a semester of her language in college but since she didn't feel we should both make an effort to communicate, I gave up.

I'm so sorry you ladies are going through this. I have a hard time understanding these types of women. Someday, they'll be old and lonely and probably won't even realize that it was their own behavior that led to that.

Mine hates me and for seriously no reason. FH has a 7 year old brother who tells me everything she says about and he doesn't realize that it's mean stuff and she will sit there and laugh while he says it. It's rough.

My MIL is a special kind of specal. I choose to see it as a blessing when she's not talking to me. If she's not speaking she's not making passive aggressive comments, complaining about FIL, telling how awful DH is, or spreading any other sort of crazy. It's all in how you look at it.

@sassy, do we have the same MIL!? lol

I'm lucky that I have a good relationship with MIL, but I also really worked at it. She wasn't completely warm and welcoming at first. She was nice, but she is not a warm person. I made it my mission to have a good relationship with her. When we visited, I would invite her to do stuff just the two of us and I would offer to help make dinner, etc. By my second extended visit, we were on good footing. She has her moments, and she has a horrible relationship with my SIL, but I viewed it as my responsibility to make sure I have a good relationship with her for DH. He and his parents are very close, and I don't get to be disrespectful of that. My feelings may certainly be different if she ever flips a switch and goes crazy on me (she has once and she apologized; she let her mouth get ahead of her brain when discussing international relations, a subject in which I have two degrees). My mom told me when DH and I got serious that I had better treat his mother with the same respect as if she was my own mother because a bad relationship with the MIL is not good for anyone. It's been really good advice. I hope your issues with your MILs improve! It's not fun to have a crazy MIL; my BFF does and it's very hard on her and her marriage.

My FMIL has been great. A little flaky, but supporting. My FH's FMIL however... They got into a huge fight this weekend (we're OOT for a high school grad party together). FH didn't put up with her drunken, passive-aggressive ass and she laid into him. And FH didn't back down. I'm so proud.

Mine doesn’t even know we’re engaged! LOL. She doesn’t speak to my fh at all, we currently live in a upper & lower, under his sister and her kids (Can’t wait to move into our house). She comes here all the time for them and never bothers to see him or our daughter (due to issues with sisters boyfriend we won’t go up there). Doesn’t invite him to anything, etc. I didn’t want to invite her, but my hunny wanted to cause at the end of the day, she’s still his mom and I understand fully...just haven’t gotten around to send the text that we’re getting married

If your future mother in law is a nightmare or doesn’t like you- I think you really need to figure out why. It is mind boggling to me that so many of you don’t get along with your in laws when they raised the amazing partner you’re marrying. These people will be in your life hopefully for the rest of your adult life. It would be behoove you to get along with them and seek counseling. Best of luck, brides with mother in law problems. It really is a blessing to get along with your mother in law.