"Memory Chair" A chair for a person who can't be there or who died

OP I think you should do what suits you. We got engaged in May, my grandmother passed in June, my grandfather followed her to Heaven in July, and one of my best girlfriends died in September in a car accident on her way to my house a quarter mile away. She was coming over for a brunch I threw to ask my friends to be my bridesmaids. I am going to honor them and my other grandfather that passed as well, although I'm not quite sure how to yet. Honor them. Whatever way you want. That said, my deceased friends fiancé is also in our wedding party and we also want to respect him on the day, as well. Personally, we probably won't do the empty chairs, but maybe a memory table at the reception.

I'm having a charm w/my mom & dad's pic in my bouquet. There will be a memory table set up at our reception with a burning candle and a framed verse saying "in honor of those who could not be with us".

I hear the sincerity in some who are telling you to do what you want, but unless you've seen it, you have no idea how what you're seeing in your head translates to what it actually looks like. The tragic example of the MOH who passed several weeks prior to the wedding, the red rose the lone BM carried...OMG, too sad for words -- too sad for me, and I don't even know who this woman was. Imagine if I did. I'd be sobbing for her, not the beauty of the celebration -- and for some, it will absolutely overshadow the joy of the wedding. You have no idea how what you're seeing in your head translates to what it actually looks like.

Please, express yourself at the memorial service as deeply as you want, but a wedding...please, don't. People don't dress and attend weddings to mourn. I'm not giving you advice that is intended to dishonor anyone who's passed -- I'm speaking from experience. A wedding, by it's nature, is already an emotionally charged experience. Tears are at the ready. The heart rending music, the empty chair, the personal items...it's anathema to a joyous celebration of life and the future.

Everyone has different opinions on the chair. It is YOUR wedding! I will have an empty chair on the front row, closest to the isle for our family members who have passed. I am doing a simple frame with a quote or saying in it, and maybe a couple flowers.

Do what you like!!

Ghoulish sums it up. I'm just imaging someone coming along to sit on it and then being told 'that seat's reserved for a dead person's photo'

I am doing flowers at the ceremony and a table at the reception

This is another clear case where it's not "your wedding' alone. There are other people who have been affected deeply by the loss of a loved one. The 'empty chair' can completely derail their joy for you on a day that should be all about that. You have no idea what this looks like in the wild and I think it is surprisingly unraveling to many couples and many, many guests.

And it's *aisle*

We are having a memory table. We are going to frame some of our favorite pictures of people we have lost. It's a personal decision. I know I wouldn't be able to focus on the happiness of the day if there was an empty chair for someone who passed, but that's me.

Both FH and I have lost all of our grandparents- we thought about a memorial table off to the side, candles, an empty seat, etc. but eventually decided against it. It would hit both of us, and our parents, too hard on that day. Instead we're both carrying charms with photos of our grandparents, and we plan to do a table at the reception with wedding photos from both our families- parents, grandparents, etc.- to celebrate the two families coming together.

In the end, you can do what you want, but keep in mind things may hit your harder that day than you expect they will. My sister planned on doing a memorial seat with flowers for her grandmother at her wedding, and cancelled it when she saw it in the cathedral when we were taking pictures before the wedding because it was too much for her.

We are having a small outdoor wedding. I'm placing a picture of my father and my best friend; who was like a daughter to me, on the area where our cake will be.

I agree with some of the others in that this could affect you on your day more than you might realize. At my bridal shower, the girls framed a photo of my mom with a "Mother of the Bride" pin resting on it (matching the FMIL's pin she was wearing). For some reason, it was the first thing I noticed when I walked in the room, and it was all I could do not to start bawling in front of all the guests. Granted, this wasn't something I was prepared to see, so it might be different if I knew it was coming.

Personally, I'm not doing an empty chair because it would probably be uncomfortable for my stepmom - who never met my mom as she married my dad after my mom passed. Instead, I have decided to include my mom in the ceremony in a more subtle way - I have a pendant with her ashes inside (that I wear almost every day) which will be tied around my bouquet in a teal ribbon.

Seeing an empty chair at my wedding ceremony would devastate me, and it wouldn't be fair to my FH. My brother passed away and we will have a small memory table at the reception with fun pictures that captured his personality best. The ceremony is about my FH and I coming together as a family. I would feel selfish making it about me and my loss in any way.

If my family members saw the empty chair, I know it would visibly upset them. As sad as life has been without him, I don't want my wedding to bring out any more sadness, and I know he wouldn't want that either. In addition to the pictures, I'll also have a charm with his picture attached to my bouquet. That way he's involved in the whole day without anyone else even knowing.

Ughh I can't even keep it together when I look at the picture of my cousin's charm I plan on putting on my bouquet. Can't imagine seeing a chair with flowers/artifacts, etc. while I'm saying my vows.

I am planning on doing a single rose on a chair on each side to represent both our father's who have passed. Then I will have pictures of them and of the grandparents that have passed in the reception area.

So we are planning on taking my brother's favorite hat and putting it on the chair closest to the isle and a sign behind the hat that says "In memory of (his name)".

This is extremely uncomfortable as a guest. Your wedding is not to “honor” people. I understand. You miss them. People die and sometimes we feel they missed a great time. But if you feel you want them to be with you- I suggest something small like charms or something. It is very uncomfortable being with someone who’s spouse is gone.

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I like this idea and it was my sister who suggested it. My husband passed 8 months ago unexpectedly and we were married 40 years. Our son is getting married December 5th. I of course will be sure the bride, groom and her parents are ok with it first. I’d settle for just a rose in the first chair next to me.