"Memory Chair" A chair for a person who can't be there or who died

My great Grandmother and my Pawpaw are both in a nursing home (and not 100% all there) and won't understand if there isn't an empty chair next to them for their spouse who died since they are coming to my wedding. These two were a very large part of my life and made a large impact on the way I grew up. I want something more than just a trinket. That's why I want to do a simple memory chair.

I will have 8X10 framed pictures of loved ones that have passed sitting on chairs during the ceremony. After the pictures will be moved to a table in the reception area with a vase of flowers. I will also have a charm on my bouquet with my father's picture in it as he is one of the people who has passed. Then that way he will still be walking me down the aisle.

Thanks guys! I hadn't thought about a simple rose! I also really like the table at the reception idea as well Nicole! I hadn't thought of that!

My grandmother would have cried her eyes out, and been miserable all evening, if I had a memory there of her husband - my beloved Pop.

"both in a nursing home (and not 100% all there) and won't understand if there isn't an empty chair next to them for their spouse who died" - No. don't do it, PLEASE?

I have seen this done twice. But, it was for two gentlemen in the military. It was a beautiful tribute. Typically for family members who have passed there is a memory table.

Have you spoken to the surviving spouses to ask if this is too much for them? It is really, really hard to attend a wedding without a late spouse, and having such a graphic reminder of loss can be traumatic (especially if there are some diminished mental abilities).

Place flowers on the altar, carry bouquet charms, sew a piece of their clothing into your dress... There are so many ways to remember a loved one without such a jarring, bleak, physical reminder of a loss.

My mother passed away so we I had a chair in the front row with her picture and a rose. My wife's grandmother also passed away so we did the same for her. Both were everything to us and we wouldn't have not done it. You need to do what feels right for you. It's your day!

I'm not really a fan of these memory chairs either... I just keep thinking about the living spouse who has to sit next to said chair.

For everyone asking if I have talked to them. I already talked to them about a week ago about it and they were in agreement with it. They said it would be a great way to honor them.

A simple rose and a photograph on the chair would be perfect.

I dislike when people tell others not to honor their loved ones in a certain way. This is 100% a personal decision. Do what feels right to you.

Did you talk to every guest about it? I can guarantee someone will find it too graphic and upsetting. It may even be you the day of!

My Mom passed away over 14 years ago and I would still cry like a baby if I saw a chair for her. Heck, at one wedding I went to they left flowers for Mary without asking me and I cried.

Here are a few things I did to honor my Mom that weren't as graphic. I wore her veil that day. Could you wear a piece of your Great Grandmother's jewelry so she's with you all day? I bought a locket and put my mother's photo in it so she was with me all day. You could get lockets for both. I had lilacs, one of my Mom's favorites in my bouquet. Do you know what their favorite flowers were?

I am not a huge fan of the memory table either. In my opinion, weddings are a happy occasion and they are far too sad. Instead DH and I put up the wedding photos of everyone in the family, alive or deceased, to show as more of a family coming together than a memorial. It was a huge hit. I had my grandparents, parents, his grandparents, parents, aunt, his siblings, etc. Dad also surprised me by bringing along family photos to display and asked my ILs to do the same for DH.

Finally, Dad requested we play their song during the reception. We only did that one because he asked.

Edited to add, Sarah we are just making suggestions that may be less upsetting to guests. I guarantee if I went to a wedding for a cousin and I sat next to an empty chair for my grandparents it would upset me. I'd be visibly crying and uncomfortable. Guests comfort is very important. Also, people may say its fine, but the day if its upsetting. There are just so many less upsetting ways to honor a family member or loved one!

My niece had just a single rose with their names for her grandparents and godfather that had passed.

Due to my age (I'll be 60 before the wedding) it just wouldn't be practical for us to have a chair set aside for each person in our lives like that who have passed..... we'd have more than one table of all empty chairs! But, we may do something to honor those in our lives who will not be there.

I was told on here that it was creepy to have my FMIL pic on the chair & that it would be sad .. I wanted to honor FH's Mother.

But for my deceased Son I'm doing this with his pics .

Guest comfort is extremely important. But at some point, the wedding needs to be about the 2 people who are getting married and their comfort. The ceremony is for the couple. The reception is for the guests.

If a photo or an empty chair makes the person feel closer to the person they've lost then that's perfectly fine. As a guest, I would respect and support that. You can't judge how a person grieves.

My parents have both passed and I chose not to have anything in remembrance of them. But that was my choice. Everybody is different.

I'm giving small angels pins to my sisters who are my brides maids to wear in memory of or dad who we recently lost and our mom who has been gone for several years. I feel like I want to do something because I will miss my parents more than ever on my wedding day.

I'm not decorating a chair necessarily, but I will have an empty chair for my mom and place a flower or small bouquet on it before the ceremony

Ghoulish.

I am doing one for my mom on my side and FHs dad on his side. I can't imagine anyone else sitting in that front center chair. We are simply putting a "reserved" sign on them, we will know what it's for. Other guests don't need to see pictures of them or anything.

I think if it's what is important to you and your grandparents already said it was okay with them then I think that's totally fine. I don't think you should have to ask every single guests permission if they're comfortable with something like that. I agree with @Sarah. The ceremony is for the couple and if this is how you want to remember your loved ones then go for it. I think the idea of placing a rose on the chair would be a very sweet idea without making it much too emotional for you and your living grandparents.