Meeting a potential officiant

@Mya asking an officiant about their stance on abortion doesn't make sense, it doesn't have anything to do with wedding ceremonies and their business. But by your statement I shouldn't even be asking if the officiant is willing to perform a non-denominational ceremony since it's such a personal point of view.

Again, "rights" extend beyond your own-at least under the US Constitution. Somehow, you think your rights trump someone else's, and that's not true for any of us.

Frankly, I don't care whether they perform same-sex marriages or not. That was not an issue I bothered to ask of ANY of the multiple officiants we interviewed. Their beliefs are their business, and not mine. I certainly don't care or even attempt to personally judge what their personal beliefs are-religious or otherwise. Today, it seems everyone needs to be in the "group think" mode without giving any credence to other opinions.

And, again, someone else's beliefs and "rights" have no impact whatsoever on the service you are requesting. Making a political agenda out of a marriage ceremony is pretty sad.

The ONLY THING that I would be concerned about is whether my officiant got their creds legitimately, whether they have a clue about marriage at all--OR whether they purchased their credentials online from a document-producer for $99. It's become one of the biggest scams out there for people to claim the "Reverend" title and pass themselves off as legitimate officiants--without being any such thing.

One of the most bizarre ceremonies I ever attended was performed by a Wiccan who bought his credentials online for $99-which qualified him out as a "legal officiant." Even atheists attending that wedding found it totally absurd.

To put it succinctly, it is altogether possible that my own officiant DOES provide same-sex marriage services. I'm certainly not going to put myself in the position of judging their own heart and beliefs.

Good fucking lord. How are you not understanding this? It has nothing to do with beliefs. She is not asking if they agree or disagree with same sex marriages. She is asking if they PREFORM same sex marriages. It's a valid question that they probably get a lot since a same sex couple needs to ask if they preform them in order to choose an officiant.

Asking an officiant if they are democrat or republican, or if they are free-range parents or not- THOSE are inappropriate questions because that has nothing to do with their job, marriages, or services they provide.

Like I said it wasn't difficult for me to pick officiants who conduct same-sex ceremonies since it was stated whether or not they performed it on the website (you know because it's such a personal issue).

Mya wiccan weddings are not bizarre, way to be judgemental because its not your usual thing. you sound very ignorant.

I never get involved in these arguments on threads, but I'm sorry Mya YOU are tacky. She was simply stating that she wants someone to marry her and her FH who has the same beliefs they do. What on earth is tacky about that? I think you're actually the one overstepping boundaries since you have no idea what you're talking about and considering you haven't even bothered to change your ring avatar, I call troll.

Sue: I actually haven't met with ours yet, but basically hired her over the phone after looking at her website and talking with her. I just looked at her website and when we spoke, just made sure she would do what we want (short, simple, non-religious but christian style ceremony without a lot of unnecessary time/space fillers).

Also Mya, though I didn't actually ask, it's sort of the same with any belief. My FH is an avid hunter and it will be known at our wedding. If I knew that my officiant looked down on my FH for being a "gutless, heartless, blood-thirsty killer" instead of "a man who provides food for his family in the most natural, humanely harvested way possible taken from a natural environment after the animal lived a great life (not in a cage) and probably would've have eventually been hit by a car anyway) I'd probably think twice about hiring that person. Yeah it matters and it's not wrong to ask if it's something that's important to you. You're seriously the only person here making it a political issue.

Seriously.

You want someone who shares the same beliefs as you, to marry you..it's really not that complicated or that far fetched.

ETA: and just because you don't care doesn't mean others don't. Move along now.

Oh FFS. All of your comments today Mya have been absolutely asinine.

For you @FMM.

Lauren- Appreciate it!

Mya, just stop typing, okay? There are many "traditionally" ordained ministers who suck at this, and some online ordained people who are very, very good because they have other qualifications that MAKE them good, not just a certificate. If that is the ONLY thing you care about, I can pretty much guarantee your ceremony will be dull. Sorry, that's my experience.

Your wiccan officiant might have been terrible; too bad your friend didn't vet them properly to see if they could actually do what they claimed. I bet they were cheap.

Wiccan =/= atheists.. I'm not sure why you even stressed that "even the atheists found it absurd" anyone who doesn't understand that specific religion isn't going to understand it.

Omg! Pezzy... Where have u been???????? How are you and how is married life?

Also @Mya, I agree rights do extend beyond by own, I would never force an officiant (or anyone) to do something that they don't believe in just to satisfy my beliefs. An officiant has the right to not perform same-sex marriage, and only religious ceremonies (for example); but don't I also have the right to not hire them to perform my wedding ceremony?

This was like reading the ramblings of a drunk teen at church camp.

My political belief is that Mya is a twatwaffle

OP, I generally would ask them if they provide a foundation of the ceremony and what (if anything) you can customize. Talk to them about what is important to you. See if you are generally comfortable with them.

Explain to me how two gay people getting married trumps anybodys rights?

As an atheist, it was very important to me that I hired someone that was willing to accept that (not all do, really) and have no mention of God.

As a person that gives a shit about other people's rights, it was just as important of a question to ask.

You can go shave your back now.

Wow, she doubled down. Wasn't expecting that. I think Mya should stop using the word "rights." I do not think it means what she thinks it means.

And LOL @ m - drunk teen at church camp. Perf!

@Mya How is someone "infringing on the officiant's rights to practice their own religious beliefs" if they want an officiant who marries same-sex couples? That is one of the stupidest things I've read in a while. The couple is not going to force the officiant to marry same-sex couples. They are simply looking for someone with similar beliefs. If one officiant doesn't share those beliefs, they move on to another who does.

You sound moronic.