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Just Said Yes May 2020

“Matron” of Honor is a doctor. Advice on title???

Nicole, on November 19, 2019 at 8:21 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
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My sister, who is married, will be the key figure in my wedding party. I know that “matron of honor” is the traditional title; however, she is a medical doctor, and so calling her “maid” or “matron” feels as wrong to me as calling her “Mrs.” I’m so so proud of what she has accomplished, and in my mind, her title of “doctor” WAYYY outranks her marital status!!


I’ve considered calling her “doctor of honor,” but it sounds silly to me. Can anyone suggest creative ideas for a title that highlights her accomplishments?

16 Comments

  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    Personally, I would just call her "matron of honor". If you think that would offend her, I would just ask her. I get where you're coming from, but I don't think her occupation really matters for her title in your wedding.

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  • Danielle
    Devoted May 2020
    Danielle ·
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    I don't think her careers matters as far as your wedding either. She's still part of group and to single her out cause of her job is a bit much.
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  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    It sounds wrong to you, but does your sister actually want you to highlight that she’s a doctor at your wedding? I can understand that she worked hard to earn the title of Dr., but I don’t know that drawing attention to it for your wedding party is necessary.
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  • Alejandra
    Expert November 2020
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag
    In her life and in her career, of course her accomplishments matter more than her marital status. However, her role in your wedding is literally matron of honor. I don’t think that’s insulting.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Your wedding isn't about her career. Matron of honor is fine.

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  • N
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Thank you to all those who have suggested I talk to her about it. I’m not worried about my sister starting drama, but everyone in my immediately family (including me!) is uncomfortable with the title “matron” of honor. Every time we talk about her role in the wedding, we refer to her amongst ourselves as “doctor of honor.” For us it’s not about her career — it’s about her identity. (We’re a family of academics!)


    I can understand the concern about singling her out, though. Can anyone suggest gender/marital-status neutral titles for members of the bridal party, in that case??
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  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    What about “sister of honor” to acknowledge your relationship and her importance to you?
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  • N
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nicole ·
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    I really like that idea!!! Thank you Smiley smile
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  • Christine
    Expert September 2020
    Christine ·
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    I'd still call her "matron of honor," but if you have your wedding party listed on a program or a wedding website you can put "Dr." in front of her name to highlight the professional title. "Matron of honor" is the name of the role she will be in at the wedding. I'm not asking people to call me "esquire" instead of "the bride" at my wedding just because I'm a lawyer!

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree with this. We have a lot of "accomplished" people in our family as well, and I would find it so off-putting to include people's professional designations in wedding-related stuff, beyond the addressing of invitation envelopes, etc. Personally, I'd find it pretentious, and among our family there would be a lot of eye-rolling (and we have several medical doctors, a bunch of academics, a few attorneys, etc.). It's great to be proud of friends and family members' professional accomplishments, but at a wedding I'd expect the focus to be on the personal relationships. Just my opinion.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    Another way of putting this into perspective is to consider if you'd refer to another member of the wedding party as your "plumber or mechanic of honor"? I'd guess not; and if you wouldn't, I probably wouldn't do so for the doctor. In your personal interactions, as a super-proud sister, I think it's cute you refer to her as your "doctor of honor"; I just think it gets awkward if you refer to her that way in public/on wedding signs/etc.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Matron of Honor - her job has nothing to do with your wedding. Or list her as Matron of Honor - Dr. Jane Smith. I'd make sure to use titles for everyone else then too (Mr, Mrs, Ms. etc)

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  • Alyssa
    Expert June 2020
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    This will be the case when my sister gets married too, as I'll be her maid/matron of honor and I'm a doctor too. Personally I detest the term MATRON of honor and I think it's up to the person to be called maid of honor even if they're married. I will refuse to be called a matron even if I'm married. But I wouldn't want to be called doctor of honor, it's not about her being a doctor, it's your day.

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  • Lauren
    Super September 2019
    Lauren ·
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    Being of Honor/Person of Honor

    Best Being/Best Person

    Groomsperson

    Bridesperson

    To me these sound ridiculous. I would just ask each member of your party what they prefer if it really is an issue.

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  • W
    Devoted September 2020
    Willow ·
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    Lady of Honor?
    I think the term "matron" is weird, too
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  • M
    Dedicated September 2020
    M ·
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    I agree. I've met and been friends with many doctors. They don't always even mention it unless it's part of the conversation or address themselves as Doctor So-and-so socially. If the best man tried something like that, everyone would think he was being pretentious
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