Married ladies: what do you wish you knew during planning?

Many have told me that they wish they would have just gone to the courthouse and spent the $20,000 on a house downpayment.

To not stress the small things. I will say that over and over again. At the end of the day, the guests won’t notice the small stuff that you were so worried about. I also suggest to take a break during the day and spend it with your SO. We made sure at our wedding, that when dinner was served, we went first in line to get our plate and we ate together. I hear so many couples say they never ate during the wedding, so I recommend scheduling time for you and your SO to eat alone at some point. Lastly, to take it all in. My wedding was everything I wanted and then some, and the day went by SUPER fast, that it is crazy to think I planned two years for it to last 10 minutes (or so it felt like). I hope this helps you some!

Def to have a small wedding n save money. Look more into other small wedding options such as an air bnb, poconos, etc.

I wish I had anticipated what my family was going to do - I would have added a lot more friends to our guest list. We had cut quite a few people to accommodate my cousins... and nearly none of them are currently acknowledging my existence.

But I'd been down this road about halfway before, so in terms of actual planning?

We had 3 rules:

1. Be legally married at the end of the day

2. Feed and entertain guests well

3. Have a sword fight at the reception

Anything after that was superfluous.

The planning process was stressful, especially with covid happening, but my (now) husband and I were able to make it work! I'd say to definitely keep your wedding as small and intimate as you can, it'll save you a lot of money. And on the wedding day, make time to spend with your guests that are there. I wish I did this, we only had 21 guests attend, but I felt like the day went by so fast, I missed out on talking to a few people before they left.

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I second all of this! i spent so much time doing stuff like putting thank you stickers on candy bags and it's like i swear that's a detail they could have cared less about haha.

Have a small wedding. Due to COVID, we went from 150 guests to 20. It was great and I would do it again! I got to talk to every single person and actually enjoy the day. I much prefer small gatherings to large anyway, and we were able to stream our wedding on Zoom for everyone else to view. We received a lot of compliments on that. We saved an insane amount of money that can now be put towards other important things in our lives.

I second the person who said don't sweat the small stuff. I don't remember what my centerpieces looked like or the color of my bridesmaids' shoes, but I remember the time spent dancing and talking with friends and family, the random conga line that formed during the reception that my husband got pulled into, the moment when my husband and I became legally married. I remember the moments spent with the people I love. The flowers, the decor, the invitations are not what I recall immediately.

I agree with don't sweat the small stuff. I absolutely loved wedding planning, but I probably spent way to much time focusing on stuff that no one cared about but me.

Also, stand your ground! It is your and your fiancé's wedding. Don't let anyone (family or friends) pressure you into anything you do not want. I ended up letting my MIL have way too much say in our guest list.

For the girls saying save your money and do something small, I disagree. You (hopefully) only get married once. I say have the wedding you dream of, within a budget you can afford.

Make a shot list for your photographer! I wish I had listened to that advice.

If you don't already have one, hire a planner for the day or specifically designate someone to be in charge for the day. Let them know you trust their judgment and that you just want to focus on your day. I wish I would have done this for my due to covid turned into DIY backyard wedding. My getting ready was filled with everyone asking questions of what goes where and who does what. Where I thought my MOH and Mom would step in and handle things they were to concerned with getting ready. I reached my boiling point and called my fiancé to come and help because everyone was driving me crazy! We spent the rest of the morning taking turns hiding in rooms until it was time for the first look. Fun memory now but was stress that could have been avoided.