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Erin
Just Said Yes May 2022

Maids of honor.

Erin, on July 4, 2020 at 6:47 AM Posted in Planning 0 23
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Can you have two maids of honor, if so how can you evenly give them tasks to do for planning a wedding

23 Comments

  • Sylvana
    Dedicated August 2020
    Sylvana ·
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    I don't see any reason why you can't have two maids of honor if that's what you want. What tasks are you trying to split up? Were your maids of honor aware of your expectations? Generally speaking, I think most people will tell you that planning falls on you and your fiance, not your bridal party.
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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Yes you can have two, but you really shouldn't be requesting them to complete tasks for your wedding unless they offer to help. I think a lot of brides expect way too much from their bridal party.
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  • Erin
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Erin ·
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    How would I determine who will plan the bachelorette party, invitations etc. can they work together as a team and collaborate ideas on what they think and then I make the final decision?
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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Those are generally handled by the bridal party if they offer to. The bride doesn't normally plan or have any involvement in making decisions for those events. They may ask what you want otherwise they plan it ok their own if they offer to. You shouldn't request these things as that comes off as rude.
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  • Erin
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Erin ·
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    This is very very new to me, I’ve never been asked to be a maid of honor or a bridesmaid so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to even do as far as planning a wedding, I’ve heard a lot of different views that between myself and my maids of honor we discuss and collaborate ideas for the bachelorette party and bridal shower and dates etc, themes.
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  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey ·
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    You can 100% have 2 maids of honor. I had my sister and one of my two sisters-in-law as mine. My sister lives in a different state and helped as much as she could with setting up and monitoring the room blocks and other things like that she could do from 6 hours away. One of my two sisters-in-law helped me with putting together our invitations, picking decorations, and other small details. My other sister-in-law helped as well when she could but works a lot so she couldn't be as involved - which was completely fine. I was just grateful they offered to help. My maids of honor planned my bridal shower together along with a few co-workers of mine and, when my sister got in town the week of the wedding, they handled all of the last minute "small stuff" like running around and grabbing last minute things for the reception so I didn't have to do all of the running around on my own the days before the wedding.

    I will say though, although my maids of honor helped, it doesn't mean that they had to. They helped because they wanted to. I didn't assign them tasks. I just let them know what I was working on for the wedding and they helped when they could. We were (and still are, lol), hard working adults with full time jobs that often work close to, if not over, 50 hours a week each, so I didn't expect them to drop everything and help. My husband and I did the majority of the planning and picking, but my maids of honor - and other family and friends - helped when and where they could. Smiley smile

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  • L
    Super July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    You can absolutely have two maids of honor! The only scenario where I don't recommend it is if you're planning on two maids of honor and only one bridesmaid. Otherwise, go for it!
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  • Nefetera
    Rockstar March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Go for it. I never heard of it but if you have 2 important ppl in your life that you feel they both deserve that title...why not
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  • Lea
    Savvy June 2020
    Lea ·
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    Like others have said, you absolutely can! I had two-my two best friends from college. On things like bachelorette they worked together-and they figured out amongst themselves who was going to do what. When they asked what other things they could help with in terms of planning, I delegated based on their skills. One has been a MOH before and in other weddings as a bridesmaid and enjoys planning things, so she was my go to for details and how to execute things. The other one is an artist-so she helped me figure out my vision for decor. She also made our guest book for us! (Though that isn’t a MOH thing, just something she wanted to do for us 😊)


    I will say it really helped to have the two of them be friends as well-they felt comfortable working together since they’ve been friends with each other as long as they’ve been friends with me!
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  • Courtney
    Dedicated July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    I have 2 MOH! My sister and my bestfriend! I am living in a different city than where my wedding/family is so my sister was able to help my mom a lot and my bestfriend was able to help me a lot throughout the planning process! They both went in to plan a perfect COVID bachelorette. Go for it!
    As far as specific tasks, like other posters said if they offer to help then you can figure something out. Do the 2 people you are considering know each other? If they do im sure they'll be able to split planning your bach/bridal shower or anything. If they don't then you could help get them connected at first and hopefully there won't be any conflict in planning.
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  • H
    Super June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    You can definitely have 2 maids of honor, but you should not be delegating them tasks. I don't necessarily think it's appropriate to ask them to throw you a shower (bridal showers are generally only if people offer to host them), but I certainly think it would be appropriate to drop a hint to them that you would like to have some kind of bachelorette party. If they are willing to throw you a bachelorette party, I don't think there is anything to delegate, per se, as they will be the ones doing the planning.

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  • Erin
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Okay if you we’re asked to be a maid of honor and then your bride decided she wanted to have two instead of one would you back out of being the maid of honor entirely?
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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle Online ·
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    I had two! I don’t see why not.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    No, of course not! There is nothing wrong with 2 MOHs! It simply means that you are lucky enough to have two people in your life you love that much and you want by your side. I have 2 MOHs. My sister is the matron of honor (she's married, and my best friend), but I also have a beautiful 29 yr old daughter who is my maid of honor (single, she's my heart!), so that's an example of why a bride might have two MOHs. It's entirely up to you, as this is your wedding.

    Bridal showers and bachelorette parties are completely optional events that someone else throws/plans for you, if they want to or can. That's not to say you can't have input on the guest list or decor, but those aren't required things for anyone. If you feel comfortable, you can let them know you'd like someone to plan a bachelorette, and see if they can make that happen for you.

    As you can see from other posts, most MOHs do what they can to help a bride, but most of us know that these are kindnesses, not "required duties." Being a maid of honor shouldn't be a job.

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  • Shariyahmom
    Dedicated May 2020
    Shariyahmom ·
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    This your wedding . I have 2 matrons of honor bc I love them both equally
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  • S
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sarah ·
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    I have two "Maids of Honor" - 1 is my Honor Attendant (they're enby) and the other is my Maid of Honor (cis female). I also have two Bridesmaids. They're all wearing the same thing, getting similar gifts, they have differing parts in the Wedding Ritual for personal reasons. But neither is above or below the other. My Honor Attendant is making my dress and helping with makeup (both were offered to me). My Maid of Honor is organizing my bachelorette party and my bridal shower. I didn't tell them what all needed to be done - they worked it out among themselves. Good luck with whatever you decide. It's your wedding and your day. Smiley smile

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  • Laquita
    Devoted July 2021
    Laquita ·
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    I also have 2 maids of honor, they're on equal standing since I just couldn't choose one. I love both equally & couldn't imagine leaving one out or in another position. One has never been in a wedding so I have to tell her what her duties as a MOH are (lol) while the other has taken lead and is doing the favors and centerpieces.

    You can have both, but as far as duties let them choose or ask for both of their inputs. As long as you don't put one over the other then everything will be fine.

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  • A
    Expert October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    My sister in law had two! They were good friends, so that helped. Her whole bridal party handled her shower and bachelorette. Both MOHs had the option to give a speech at the reception as well. They each introduced themselves as “co-Maid of honor.” There were no issues with it.


    Keep in mind that you do not give tasks to the bridal party. It is traditional for them to plan the shower and bachelorette but not required. You can ask them to help you with some things, give opinions, etc, but don’t expect anything. You don’t really get a say in the bridal shower or bachelorette unless they ask for your input. The exception, of course, is if you’re letting them know about something you are absolutely not okay with. You also need to be the one to provide the guest lists. I’m not my friend’s MOH, but I am planning her shower and bachelorette. I sat down with her and asked her a bunch of questions to see what would make her happiest and to know how involved she wanted to be. For example, she wants to know the dates of the events but not the locations. She also picked the theme. Beyond that, she won’t know anything else. The surprise is definitely part of the fun!
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  • Elmarose04
    Devoted July 2021
    Elmarose04 ·
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    I'm having two maids of honor!!! both my sisters. Well my grandma passed away when my mom was only 18 years old and she left behind her little sister who was only 3 at that age. My mom and dad took her under their wing and I never knew she wasn't my actual sister until I was 12 years old. She means the world to me and we just shared so many sister relationships together and she has blessed me with the most wonderful nephews and niece (4) in the world.. I wouldn't have it any other waySmiley heart You can definitely have them help you in separate ways love! One might be good at something as well as the other and you know your MH bestSmiley smile

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  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
    • Flag

    I'm having 2 MoH and a flower "girl" (my 20 year old niece). My Sister (My maid of honor) lives 8 hours away from me so she can only do certain things. My Bestie is my other one (well technically she's my Matron of honor). She lives 20 minutes away from me. I am not assigning them tasks as really the only thing they are required to do is show up in the appropriate attire with a smile on their face. However, they collaborated on planning my shower and bachelorette party. Typically, the bride doesn't plan the shower or other pre wedding events-those are planned by those who are offering to host said party. I have been telling them what I'm working on at the time they ask and they help with additional things as they can. We are all older-late 30's early 40's. So we all have full time jobs, kids or other family responsibilities, etc so we have to work around all of our crazy schedules. You don't necessarily "assign" them tasks. You just let them know what you need help with and if they are able to help, they will.

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