Maid of honor

Is she your best closest friend ever? When is the wedding? There are many posts about brides picking the wrong people too early to be a bridesmaid and the aftermath is usually that friendships end as a result before the wedding. As a maid of honor/bridesmaid, her only responsibility is to purchase a dress that you pick and then show up on the wedding day to support you and fiancé. No one will be as invested in your wedding as you and it’s not her responsibility to help plan. That is what your fiancé does because you are not marrying the coworker. Stop talking about the wedding with her. If it comes down to it, you may need to ask her to step down if she is not supportive. No bridesmaid or groomsman anywhere should be judgmental about any plans the couple makes.

Totally agree with Michelle. It’s definitely not right that she’s being judgmental. However I feel as though people ask a lot of their wedding party. It’s not her job to help you plan or stop her life to help you DIY. No one is going to make your wedding as important as you will. Especially since you said there’s stuff in her life. I would just accept the help where you can from who’s willing to help and leave it at that. If you can find people to help you DIY that’s great. I know it can be a lot. I did a lot of DIY myself. I got help when I could. I would only ask her to step down if she’s causing a lot of drama for you

It's not her job to do your DIY. The maid of honour title is meant to honour them. It's not a job. She may be feeling overwhelmed with your expectations. Appointing someone else will do two things, make your MOH feel bad and make the second choice person feel like second choice.

Maid of honor is a title to honor your best and biggest supporter in life (sister, best friend, etc) it isn't the person who HAS to help you plan anything. I'm sure she she accepted not realizing that you'd be using her to help wedding plan.

I agree with the others comments. It sounds like this person was really excited about your wedding and the role of MOH, until she realized how high your expectations were. MOHs and BMs should be your closest friends/family who you wish to honor on your special day. They should not be used as wedding planners/coordinators or free labor. It doesn’t sound as though this person has done anything wrong, so demoting her from the position would probably cause a lot of drama and hard feelings (not to mention a really awkward workplace). I would leave her in the position and back off the wedding talk for a while.

She may have burn out. If she's your co-worker, you see her probably more than your fiancé. How often are you talking about your wedding at work? How big is her work load? She has a personal life. We cannot expect our friends to be excited and ready to talk wedding at all moments we want to. That's not realistic or fair. people have opinions. If you ask, expect them to be honest. Not everyone has the same taste and that's ok. So what if she doesn't like your wedding details, do you and your fiancé? Bridesmaids dress is a little bit more difficult since she will have to wear it and probably pay for it.

It doesn't sound like she has done anything wrong. Another component here is that she is a co-worker. Demoting any friend is a relationship altering move and you will still have to work with her. I would take a step back and ask yourself why you picked her. Other bridal party members can step up and help if they want. But they are not required to help plan or diy. It's voluntary

I think it’s getting tough because there are so many movies, TV shows, social media posts, etc where the bridal parties look super involved and pour tons of time and money into their friends’ weddings, but that’s just not reality. What everyone else is saying about wearing the dress and standing up with you being the only obligation is absolutely correct. You’re definitely allowed to feel a little disappointed about that, but I wouldn’t take it out on your friend if I were you. You mentioned having another friend who you think is more into helping, so why don’t you ask her (and other friends) if she would mind doing a DIY day, treat her to some snacks and booze if that’s her thing, and put some fun music or movies on in the background? And don’t make assumptions if people say no. I would personally tell any of my closest friends no to DIY help just because I’m not artsy AT ALL, and I would feel so much pressure to not ruin their day with my nonexistent art skills.

I am glad to know that even in this day and age (I am married 37 years), the Maid/Matron of Honor, typically a sister, other close relative or very best friend is literally "honored" by being in the bridal party and just supposed to wear the dress and be supportive. Reading the other comments, I'm inclined to agree that you may be asking too much of your MOH, especially if she's your very closest friend. If you need help in your wedding preps, and if your FH isn't up to that kind of planning, you may wish to promote one of your other friends/bridesmaids to "wedding planner" - just a thought. Or if it's in your budget, hire a pro.