Maid of Honor & Plus One Dilemna

You are under no obligation to invite his children. You gave him a choice either come without them or don't attend. He sounds a bit high maintenance.

I would let her have her week but still stand by her invite including a plus 1. If the boyfriend has his two kids that weekend he should stay home and spend that time visiting with his children. So I do not think you are being obnoxious or self centered. Her boyfriend and his wants, needs, situation are theirs to worry about-not yours. But maybe I am obnoxious and self centered.

Breathe 1st. Then email her saying that it is neither obnoxious nor self-centered to not be able to accomodate everyone and their friend at your SMALL wedding. While he is welcome to come as a guest, there will be no exceptions made to add his children as well. It is a Plus ONE not a Plus THREE.

and don't you dare feel bad for putting your foot down. I had to do the same thing with my MOH who invited 4 people to my wedding.

I agree with Carrie. And also, your moh needs to grow some balls. It's not your job to tell her bf he can't invite his kids, it's her job

Let it go to next week, but be firm that he is welcome to come but his children are not.

Getting this email was frustrating to say the least. She is the one who has spent the past two weeks texting, emailing and calling because she is stressed out about his guy and how to ask him, then he wanted his kids to come now he still wants some kind of personal invitation from me either a call or email. When I finally told her he was stressing me out and he could either come or not come from her asking him this is what I got from her:

"Here's what I am going to do. Let's take a break. You cool off. We will talk next week. I will not read anything from you further until next week. Your brain is frazzled from the wedding plans and you are becoming completely obnoxious with your self-centeredness of the wedding. You are my friend and I love you. However, I have had enough of it for the time being. I refuse for you to suck me in to an argument."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

See thats why i kicked 2 girls out of my wedding last week. NOPE.

It sound like he is full of his self or she is nervous to ask him cancel his weekend with the kids. I would give her some time to exhale. You are not being obnoxious, stand your ground, she already have her invite with your approval to bring him.

Lmao my reply to that message would be "biatttttttttttttttttttttttttttchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

It's her b/f let him deal with it. I'm guessing the "formal invite" is so he feels like he isn't imposing (even though he is)

To add to the stress my future brother in law past away unexpectedly a couple months ago, so this has been difficult for his family. I don't need my MOH adding more stress for a BF she has only been with about 4 months. I think he is being needy, but now how do we move past it. I told her how I felt about him and his request of a personal invitation from me. I told her how I felt and that this was a stressful time for myself and fiance and our family and I didn't need his stress on top if it. She told me I was being stubborn and selfish and obnoxious. Can I let this go? She is my only attendant. What to do?

LOL! She is deflecting. Let it go. When communications between you and her resume be matter of fact about her "plus one". If she insists that you invite him and include his children let her know "you don't want to be sucked into an argument".

Wait the week, because she is the one that obviously needs time to cool off from her ridiculous self-centeredness then I would call her and tell her EXACTLY how I felt about her being a BIT*H

Also tell her she has a plus 1 so it isn't his invite. If she wants her bf to come then that is fine but she needs to invite him. If she wants her cat to come that is fine, but she needs to invite it. AND she is going to have to choose between the two as it is so not your problem.

You are being guilt tripped. My MOH is almost out of the door for this same stuff. Even if she is your only attendant right now, I'd replace her. Clearly sucking up to her new bf means more than being supportive and understanding of your budget and your friendship. She isn't only being disrespectful to you, its rude to your FH as well. There is absolutely no way that she should be treating you like this.

If she refuses to read anything you send her for the next week, she'd be finding out in next monday's email that her services are no longer needed.

Lol I agree with Sabrina

"Although this is an intimate occasion for close family and friends, you may bring one guest, since I know you are travelling from out of state. Thanks & love you too [lol]"

In one week, I'd say "You were invited with a plus one, so if your boyfriend wishes to attend without his children, that's fine. I will not be sending him a personal invitation as he can be included as your plus one. And you only get ONE guest, not multiple and not children. I'll leave it up to you two adults to decide if he is or isn't attending, as I've got a lot of my plate at the moment. Talk to you later!"

Sheesh.

Everybody is different. See I'm an asshole sometimes. I could care less about a plus one. If ir name isn't on the invite your not invited. there would be no way I'm inviting my friend boyfriend kids from another women. He just wont be coming. And if my friend let something like a "boyfriend" come in between us then her seat can be replaced also.

Copy/post was reenski just said. I agree with waiting a week though, if she's a true MOH with your best interests in mind she'll come to her senses before you even to send that email.

Why is she walking on eggshells for him??? What is so awful about telling him your kids are not able to attend? Who is this guy? Good for you for saying what you said. "I will not read anything from you further until next week" HAHAHAHAHA I wouldn't even respond to her in a week! Wait for her to reach out to you and take care of your FH and try and enjoy the wedding planning.. How one person can make something so difficult!!

Not sure. She said we were both stubborn. Him for not just coming as his plus one and me for digging my heals in. Not it's like she's put us both on a time out. Only I've been around 10 years and him for 4 months, and it's my wedding. Not to sound spoiled, but I don't think he gets to be stubborn in this instance. I just wouldn't give in and call him personally to ask him to come. I held my ground and told her he was a plus one - if she wants to bring him or whoever he can come and plus ones don't get to be plus 2's or plus 3's because he has one or more of his kids from different relationships.

You have no obligation to call the guy. It's your MOH's guest, it is HER job to ask him. Stand your ground, she's the one making a fool of herself. It is not your job to play tag with your guests guests.