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Beginner November 2020

Lost joy over wedding day need help

Jazlyn, on August 9, 2020 at 11:49 PM Posted in Planning 0 7

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My fiancé and I had planned our wedding for October of 2021. We had booked our dream venue about 2 months ago. After a few weeks of going back and forth and some family and friends Input we decided to not have our wedding at the venue. My fiancé and I agreed that we did not feel comfortable planning a wedding that we were not certain would be able to even happen since the venue is currently closed and has no day as to when they will open. My fiancé also did not feel comfortable putting our more elderly Family members at risk which I totally understood. so we decided to scale back our wedding and have a ceremony at my church and a backyard party afterwards with the new date being in May 2021 . I cannot tell you how stressful it has been to do a whole 360 on your wedding plans. I have been trying my hardest to find places to host our party since my backyard is way to small and wouldn’t be able to fit anyone but I have had zero luck. I’ve basically been the only one planning this wedding along with my fiancé since my family has shown little to no Interest and my fiancé family is currently going through some drama so they aren’t even speaking. I have been feeling so helpless and feel like I’m just throwing a wedding for everyone else and not for me. My fiancé and I have talked about every option possible such as a court wedding, or eloping just us two but we’re afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings more so my parents by that decision. I feel so lost and helpless I need help!

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Latest activity by Margaret, on August 10, 2020 at 8:22 AM

Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 9, 2020 at 11:59 PM
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You two could always elope/intimate wedding and then tell the family you’ll consider a reception or vow renewal in the future but the Covid situation is just too much stress right now. I think they’ll understand. Then you can decide next year if you really plan to plan a big party or not.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on August 10, 2020 at 12:37 AM
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I agree - tell your family your plans, letting them know puts them in the loop so they won’t be hurt.
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Dedicated July 2020
Amy · on August 10, 2020 at 12:45 AM
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It's your day, do what you want!

Maybe now is the time where family will understand that you DO elope. Because of covid and everything who would blame you? It's understandable not to want to have your parents feelings hurt, but If you have a good relationship with them just try talking to them. I bet they just want you to be happy. ☺💪💪
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Master September 2020
Jessica · on August 10, 2020 at 1:08 AM
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Don’t plan a wedding for everyone else, it should be about the two of you. When I initially told my mom we were considering eloping (pre-Covid) she literally cried, but last week when I was feeling down about everything and told her that’s what I wanted to do she said she would 100% support me. Given the situation, no one can be upset with you for doing what is best for you. I get the stress of planning a wedding alone, I expected to have help and it’s all been on me, but what has got me through the stress is focusing on my FH and I and making the day about us in every way. You don’t have to follow traditions just because they are traditions. You don’t have to have a wedding because your family wants you to or expects you to or you think it would hurt them to not be included. As a pp suggested, you can always do a vow renewal when the Covid situation is under control. If you can be selfish about anything, it should be making your wedding day exactly what you and your fiancé want. Give yourself some grace- these are tough times to be planning a wedding.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on August 10, 2020 at 3:03 AM
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You mentioned wanting the wedding to be about the two of you... and that’s the way it should be. It’s your wedding and not anyone else’s. So you can’t worry about hurting other people’s feelings. They’ll have to understand your decision. And perhaps you can host a simple reception later, under less stressful circumstances.
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VIP August 2020
· on August 10, 2020 at 5:13 AM
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It is hard to explain, but a lot of us understand how stressful it is to do a whole 360 on your wedding plans, so at least know that you're not the only one going through this.

You definitely shouldn't make decisions just to avoid hurting other people's feelings. If you want to elope with just the two of you and an officiant, you should do that. You can always bring a photographer and show your parents the pictures afterward. Also, I think people have the idea that the options are eloping with no one present, or having a wedding where you invite a bunch of people, but you can invite as many or as few people as you want. So if you want to have only your parents, or only your parents and one or two of his relatives/friends with you, you can do that! Other people will be offended, but telling them that you'll give them pictures and have a reception later on will make it easier for them to get over.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on August 10, 2020 at 8:22 AM
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I'm sorry you feel alone in your planning and having to do a whole 360. The good news is your wedding is several months away. Long before Covid, we too did a complete 360 in our wedding plans, from an intimate wedding at a B&B in Maine to a smaller Beach wedding in the Keys.
I understand your concerns about the virus, but I think as we get closer to the new year we will see additional guidance on how to handle our events. Additionally there will be vaccines available as early as the first of the year.
Have you looked into Public Parks or places like the Moose / Eagle / Masonic Lodges as places to hold your reception?
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Lost joy over wedding day need help

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