Looking for ways to include my sister in the wedding

If you want to include her she could do a non-religious reading, she could be a grooms woman if you wanted to add her to the bridal party, or maybe give a speech during the reception.

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It's a Catholic wedding Mass all of the readings are religious.

It's too late to add her to the wedding party. Not sure about speeches at the receptions because the weddings I've been to usually just have best man and maid/matron of honor do speeches. I've never seen siblings give speeches.

You can add her to the processional as an honored guest, or if there is anyone extra that needs an escort and she can get a corsage and sit in the front row.

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I think it would be too awkward for her to be in the processional because she's not a member of the wedding party. She'll be sitting in the front row with my parents.

Giving her corsage wouldn't really mean anything it's just a flower.

Thank you for the suggestions Janet. But, those probably won't work because it's too awkward and there's nothing special about a corsage.

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Actually that's not true. A corsage denotes she's an important part of the day. I think that's a great idea.

What about having her speak at the rehearsal dinner if you're having one?

I got married in a Catholic church too. Your options to give her a special role outside of the bridal party are playing an instrument/ singing, passing out programs/ greeting guests, being an usher and escorting guests to seats, escorting someone in the processional, serving as a flower girl, doing a reading, or presenting the gifts. You could also include her in your program (we listed family members in ours). I would say that giving her a corsage is more than "just a flower." The people who got corsages at our wedding were the moms, my grandma, and those who did readings. They're meant to indicate that someone has a special role in the bride or groom's life.

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We are having my fiancee's step-brothers as ushers. The passing out programs might be the only option for us, not sure if it will be enough. When it comes to corsages I don't see it as anything special. To me it's just flower and doesn't really show importance. It's a nice thing don't get me wrong, but I don't giving that alone will make my sister feel like she's included in the wedding.

Have you asked her if she'd feel comfortable doing a reading? I'm not Catholic or religious at all and have been readers in family and friends Catholic weddings. I asked them to type out exactly what I was supposed to say in terms of the book of ___, etc. before starting the actual set of verses. It was fine and I was happy to be included.

I am in the same boat as you, Gerald. My sister and I are not close and don’t speak much to each other (we live in different states). According to our dad she feels left out because she’s not in the wedding party. I haven’t even heard from her if she received the save the date. So I’m trying to think of some way to include her that doesn’t make it seem like she’s working (decorating, handing out programs).

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I don't think it would be appropriate for her to do a reading in a Catholic wedding mass since she's not of the faith. She stopped attending Presbyterian church services years ago. I also want to be respectful towards the priest who is performing the wedding.

Just because you are having a Catholic wedding mass doesn't mean you have to be old traditional, e.g. only certain people give speeches, only single-gender wedding parties, only parents get special flowers. I think you should ask your sister what she feels comfortable contributing, if at all. My husband has one sister and neither did anything for their respective weddings except the unofficial dance floor carouser. Also, 8 months is not too late if you're close to have her stand with you. She wears an outfit that color-coordinates with your groomsmen, not bridesmaids. If you're worried of uneven sides, matching numbers is old, too. Many couples have their attendants even sit in the pews, rather than stand (or kneel) during the whole mass.

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Asking her to be in the wedding party at this point would just make it look liked she's tacked on. My fiancee's sister who is maid of honor was asked since the beginning and it make it look like we added my sister as an afterthought.

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Are you worried about what others think or what your sister thinks? You are the Co-host and don't have to validate your reasons to anyone. If you want your sister next to you, ask. Apologize that you were confused by the difference between wedding etiquette and old traditions and didn't realize you could have mixed gender wedding parties in 2023.