Literally "Exchanging" Vows?

I don't really like the idea. It's going to be hard enough to get through them as it is. Also, FH is not big on writing. We are working on our vows, but it's a collaboration. I would never want him to feel that what he wrote didn't "match" mine in emotional value. I'm sure our officiant will be a helpful ear as well.

I love this idea and I am totally doing this for my wedding! The exception- we are going to write out our own vows for each other and swap them before the ceremony to read (and probably cry!) in private. For the ceremony we are just going with the standard one the officiant uses. That way we wont be an emotional mess at the ceremony and we will always have the letter as a keepsake.

To add we did the "standard vows" as our expression of intent and then had personalized vows.

I loved our personalized vows. Some tips:

1. Practice practice practice. I spent several hours practicing my vows. Inflection. Tone. Modulation. The best moments were practicing my vows wrapped up in a quilt as the sun rose on the day of our wedding. Amazing.

2. Memorize. This was SO important to me. I still had a card with my handwritten vows, but I have my vows memorized and can spout them on the spot.

3. Tell them to a close friend whose a good editor. My MOH and her BF helped me tweak my vows and make them perfect. We moved the part "these vows..." from the beginning to the end, so that I started with "I promise". It made my vows more impactful, and I wouldn't have thought of that without help.

4. When you're writing them, the best thing that I found for inspiration was having a starting point. I knew I wanted to mention our VW buses somehow as they have been so important in our relationship, and I wanted to include "for all the adventures yet to come" which are inscribed in his wedding band.

This sounds so sweet!! You could do both - maybe write your own vows (maybe 4?) and exchange the last one or two. Or, exchange the words you'll use with your rings!

We said the traditional vows because I love them, but wrote our ring exchange words. We wrote them together, and I used a letter he sent me long ago, so I sort of borrowed his words, in a way.

Last evening, a German couple repeated after me the traditional vows. Then they said their personal vows to each other in German (their guests understood).