Literally "Exchanging" Vows?

I've not heard of this, but I'm thinking for me personally, I wouldn't be able to read the vows he wrote. I'd be ugly crying like a crazy woman!

Hahahhaa! I was worried about the same thing, to be honest.

That sounds incredibly sweet, and I agree that there would be huge waterworks among the guests (and you!). My only thought is that it would have to be super crystal clear that you guys were literally exchanging each other's vows or guests could be confused I like this, I say do it!

Neither? I don't think it's lame- but I don't think it's cool- but that's b/c I can be a pretty literal person- so to me- writing MY vows- and them him reading doesn't make sense to me.

I'm vowing to him what this relationship is to me and our marriage- I think if he reads them to me- then I'm not vowing.

So- if you're not doing a vow like a promise- and it's more of a love letter- it would make sense and I could see it being effective- but personally if I'm doing vows that means I'M making the vow- so I need to read them.

Very good point, JoRocka.

@katie marie, I hear you! I told FH that if we do it that way, we would want to make sure our officiant lets everyone know what we're doing first.

I agree with JoRocka. I believe that vows should be promises and not a running story or love letter to be recited. So if you go the promises route, it doesn't make sense to read the other persons promise.

Yes I have seen this done 2 different ways! Both times there was not a dry eye anywhere, and in 1 wedding the groom was crying too hard to finish

Wedding #1 - Wrote them out beforehand and exchanged them for the first time at the wedding. It was incredibly touching and wonderful - but they could have coordinated a little more on tone. His was 70% funny and 30% emotional, hers was 40% funny and 60% emotional.

Wedding #2 - They wrote back-and-forth vows for each other but coordinated on how many and the tone. So beforehand they said "6 vows each: 3 funny, 3 touching". It worked really well!

Both times it was so personal and touching! If I could make it through personalized vows without uncontrollably sobbing then I would definitely do it.

I think it could be sweet if it fit the couple. DH and I it wouldn't have worked well for. I am very sappy and emotional and he isn't except when it's just him and I. I feel like it would have been awkward for us.

Thanks so much for the input! I really love the idea but now that a few have brought up the ultra-valid point of it being HIS vows I would be reading and vice versa, I'm not sure I can get passed that. I do like the idea of maybe us saying our own vows but going back and forth and taking turns. That could be really sweet! I am also taking on board the suggestions about making sure we're both on the same page about how much humor vs. serious/sappy stuff we want. FH and I are pretty goofy so I imagine it will be at least 50/50.

Reading them just for the sake of reading them? Or is he writing the vows that you are making?

Like DH vowed to make me coffee every morning, but it wouldn't make sense for me to vow to make him coffee, because he doesn't drink coffee.

Sorry I'm confused lol.

My DH and I wrote our own vows and read them at our ceremony. I wouldn't change that part for anything! That was one of the most special moments of our day. I have also been to a wedding where the couple each wrote a letter stating why they loved/wanted to spend forever with the other one. The pastor then read the letters aloud and went on with the traditional vows. That was also an incredibly sweet way to do it.

Sorry I confused you, Staci! The couple I read about each wrote what they wanted to vow and say to the other and then they swapped at the ceremony and the bride read aloud what the groom wrote to her and vice versa. I hope that helps.

Okay gotcha, so just for the sake of the other person reading them.

I think it is special enough when you write your own vows, no need to add to that. But if you like it then go for it.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think it's very sweet, but our relationship and discussion on how we wanted the vows was that we would read our own vows to each other.

I was super happy with my vows and REALLY wanted to speak them to DH because it meant a lot for me to vocalize my promises to him. I wrote them out and memorized them (I still had a card to read from because I totally froze at "I promise" so definitely have a card). Also, having to read something that I hadn't practiced in front of a crowd would have made me soooo nervous.

You can read my vows here: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/non-pro-bam-keep-updating-as-the-day-goes-on/dcdbb98d75931dbf.html

I highly highly highly recommend memorizing your vows. I still tell DH my vows to him. They are very important to us, and I try to tell them to him at least once a week to keep the promises fresh!

^^^ that.

is awesome.

I drafted mine- it includes tacos and coffee. But I love the idea of saying them to him often.

Also- I'm so angry I can't see your pictures.

Elizabeth, your vows were beautiful. I loved them. They were very touching and even added in a little light humor too. This is why I'm so glad I asked for opinions! I value all of them so much but when I first posted, I was leaning towards doing it in that unique way but now I'm feeling pretty strongly convinced I will want to tell FH what I will take so much time and effort to create.

Its an ok idea, but it wouldn't make sense on our end.

I don't know what he's written, but I've put in there something about trying to get him to watch Doctor Who...and he hates the show. lol

I think it wasn't really the groom vowing what the bride wrote and vice versa -- it was just him reading what she was vowing to him out loud... for a sweet change or something, I suppose. Still, though -- I think we'll read our own now.

Eh.....I'm not a fan honestly. I do love when my couples write their vows, even more so when they are funny and moving and short. But I don't know that the emotional shock of seeing what your spouse wrote and then having to immediately orate that in front of lots of guests is such a grand idea.

Write your own, read your own, don't use a mic.