Brooke
Savvy August 2019

Letting a Vendor know you will not be needing their services.

Brooke, on June 12, 2019 at 6:24 PM Posted in Planning 0 16
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Hey, everyone, I have a weird situation that I would like a second opinion on.


I am getting close to my wedding date and I have made all of my big decisions already. Early in the planning process, I had a photographer I used to work with reach out to me and express interest in doing my wedding. This was great as I had photos done by him before and he was basically begging to do my photos. He gave me one of his higher packaged options (day of the event, formals, and engagements) for a lower package price because he wanted to work with me so bad, so I agreed. Now it is a few months later and a few months closer to my wedding and I am not able to take enough work off for multiple photo sessions which the selected package included. We since decided to do the lower package (day of the event, and formals) that would work better for my schedule but now I am not getting a deal on anything, and I am a little bummed about it.


It sounds super bratty so just hear me out.


Like I said earlier, I have worked with this photographer before; he is a perfectly nice man and takes good pictures, but without getting a discount I don't believe the quality matches the high price. He has also been getting on my nerves throughout the process of trying to figure everything out. I know he isn't purposefully trying to push anything on me, but he is. So after all of that, I reached out to our videographer about their photography options, and they are willing to do everything for $200 less than the other person (which isn't much but when you are spending a bunch of money on one day .50 makes a difference) and their quality is much higher. Not to mention that since it is coming from the same company it will be less coordinating, 1 less vendor to worry about, and the photo/video will be more cohesive as one.


Should I go with the original photographer because I already committed to him (he didn't send me a contract and I haven't paid the deposit)? Or should I go with the other vendor for the perks I just mentioned? If I do go with the videographer how should I break the news to the original photographer?


Ugh. Getting married is rough.

16 Comments

  • Brooke
    Savvy August 2019
    Brooke ·
    • Flag

    Re-reading this makes me sound so horrible. I am truly not trying to be a brat or entitled, but maybe I am Smiley atonished

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  • Chrystal
    Super May 2019
    Chrystal ·
    • Flag
    Since you don’t have a contract I would just send an email and tell him that you decided to go in another direction and will no longer need him for photography.
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  • Waldy
    Devoted October 2020
    Waldy ·
    • Flag

    Like PP said, if there's no contract and no deposit, I would email the first photographer back, politely declining their services. "Hi {person's name}, Thank you so much for offering to photograph our wedding, but we have decided to go in a different direction and will no longer need your services."

    Or something like that.

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  • Kelsey
    Dedicated October 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
    Yeah this is tough because you know the guy personally, but do you really want to be looking back at your wedding photos wishing you’d chosen someone else, but didn’t because you didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings? At the end of the day, it’s a business, not personal to him. He might be bummed because he’s human but if he’s a professional he will get over it and move on quickly! I say go with your gut and (politely) let the first guy know you’ve decided to go in another direction.
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  • Alexandra
    Dedicated October 2020
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag
    I understand where you're coming from. It's hard when you know the person pretty well.
    I'd personally let the first photographer that you thank him for his interest and time, but you've decided to use another service. I'd leave it at that. He may be upset and that would be understandable but it won't be the end of the world for him. It will be easier for you to not have the worry about another vendor and your picture quality will be better. I definitely care a lot about how my pictures are going to look!
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  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
    • Flag
    It's a crappy thing to do especially if you know the person BUT you don't sound happy with your original decision and not getting a deal. If you have tried talking to your photographer already about reducing the price of the smallest package and it won't be made cheaper then just go with the videographer. Let the photog know that you appreciate their ____ but that you and FH have decided not to proceed at this time. I hope it won't affect your personal relationship but maybe the photographer will learn to take deposits in order to mitigate any time or bookings lost when people change their minds.

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  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
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    I wouldn't worry so much. People change minds all the time and weddings are expensive. You may be feeling things because you know the person you are trying to cancel on. When you contact the person, I wouldn't tell him or her that you have gone with someone else. Just stick to the fact that you and DH made a decision and services are no longer needed right now. Thank him or her. You'll feel better once it's done. Hope everything goes well. GL

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  • Alli
    Devoted May 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag

    You totally don't sound like a brat. Don't beat yourself up. If he hasn't provided any services, and you haven't received any "goods" so to speak, I would agree with PP's and call him/send a nice email letting him know you have decided to go in another direction. Unless he is one of your best friends, you don't have to over-explain. But keep in mind, this might burn a bridge you may end up wanting to use in the future...

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  • Emily
    Expert April 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you sound bratty at all. If there's no contract/deposit then you're not tied to anything. Since you know him personally, I'd reach out and tell him that it's a tough decision but going with a photographer that's part of your videographer just makes more sense and will create less stress the day of the event because there's less coordinating to do. You don't have to over-explain or anything, and if he's a professional, he's heard similar news to this as well.

    • Reply
  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
    • Flag
    I had exactly the same situation with a photographer, who I worked with before. He is not a close friend, but he is more than an acquaintance. Early on when we got engaged, he was thrilled to do our wedding, but his quote was way too high. I was honest with him & respectfully told him that, while I love his photos, his quote is this much higher than other 2 quotes we got. He came back immediately & reduced his price to meet the other quotes.

    I suggest you do the same, be honest & direct & respectfully let him know what the situation is. I find this approach always works well, people usually appreciate honesty & no feelings get hurt.
    • Reply
  • Ellie
    Devoted January 2020
    Ellie ·
    • Flag

    You're not being a brat at all! I think if anything you're being thoughtful as to how this would be inconveniencing the photographer but at your own detriment. You should do what works best for you. You're going to be spending so much money on this day and it's your right to do what suits you best, especially when it comes to photos.

    If the videography company is offering you a better deal and has better quality there's no question in what you should do. As others have said, I'd just send a generic message saying that you're moving in another direction. I wouldn't get too much into details as to why you are because they may try to counter with some other offer but in my opinion if you like the work of the other people, you need to go with them.


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  • Michelle
    Super August 2019
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    We were looking for a photographer and a friend of mine (who is not pro but has done weddings before) suggested someone who isn't a professional wedding photographer but takes amazing photos. We were a little apprehensive at first but after looking at his work and talking to him we felt better about it. Then came getting a price. At first he gave us a price that was well worth it but it would only include a flash drive and print release. I mentioned this to my friend and she said that she charges that price and includes a photo album or something with hers also and thought that since it was going to be the first wedding he's done she thought he should lower the price or give us the option to get an album for the quoted price. I brought this up to him and he basically said he couldn't go lower and if he included and album he would have to charge more. We politely declined and a few hours later he emailed me back and agreed to either option and said after thinking about it we were right and he would really love to be our photographer.

    Needless to say, if you would really rather go with the other photographer, it's ok to do so, especially since you haven't sigend or paid anything. Don't just go with someone to spare their feelings. You should get what you want and not just settle.
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Rockstar May 2020
    Cristy ·
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    This exactly. NO contract means you don't owe him anything but a simple, thanks anyway.

    I don't think you sound like a brat. We are all trying to get the best deals, and spread our hard-earned dollars as far as they will go. The scenario you described is the perfect example of getting the most value for your money. Simple as that.

    Besides, if he's getting on your nerves, that would be another reason for me to ditch him. Vendors aren't supposed to do that!

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  • mrsaj2b
    Master October 2019
    mrsaj2b ·
    • Flag

    I get that it is awkward to tell your first photographer you want to go with someone else based on your background with him but honestly it sounds like your heart is with the other company and so it should be if you love their work and feel like they will best capture your day. As someone said before just tell him you appreciate him offering to work with you but you are going in another direction and have chosen to go with someone else. At the end of the day you have to be happy. And, no, you are not being a brat.

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  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    Ugh, definitely go with the second. I say that as someone who works/ed at a very professional, family-owned photography studio that I am now marrying into. There was no monetary or paper commitment to the first at all, and I find it strange that he was "begging" to work with you so much that he was cutting you that much of a deal. If you feel bad when you tell the first one and think you want an excuse, just say that those of you planning were looking at the day-of coordination, and you feel that using one vendor instead of two for something is the only way it will work out.

    And no, I really don't think you're being a brat about this. I think you have standards.

    • Reply
  • Cassi
    Super October 2019
    Cassi ·
    • Flag

    Sorry, longish post:

    I had to make this decision very early on. If you are AT ALL concerned about quality difference go with what you are paying for. I had a family friend reach out to me that did my senior photos for high school years ago. Fiance and I just wanted an engagement session done. The photographers we were talking to were in TN but we live in FL so we knew our engagement session would be done in FL. We drove out the day of our photos to the perfect location and Bam.... her camera was broke. Understandingly (we only paid her $60) we rescheduled for a closer park (not as pretty) for the following weekend when her camera would be fixed. Session went well I liked( key word here, didn't love) the photos she sent as our announcement photos and told me 3 weeks she would have the rest ready. Now all the pictures had this weird black on the right hand side it was like a weird shadow like the shutter of the camera lens wasn't fully working.... I retouched up some of the photos she sent me to my liking and was excited for the remaining pictures to come. She lives about 45 minutes from me and I was coming into town around Christmas and asked if I could stop to grab the CD she said yes and I showed up... low and behold she wasn't there. I have since reached out to her and still have not gotten the remaining pictures I was promised. She offered to do our wedding photos for us the day of the shoot very cheaply if we paid for her lodging one night for her to come up and do pictures and stay the night to travel back the next night.. FH and I were super hesitant because we hadn't seen our engagement photos. A few weeks after sample photos came we went to TN to start picking our venue and everything and met the most wonderful photographer and we politely declined engagement photo ladies offer (pretty sure this is why we never received the remaining of our engagement photos).

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