Lets throw etiquette out the window for one second

If I needed to book a hotel, I would want to know well in advance so I could plan for travel expenses and my FH could try to get off work. He has to request vacation weeks a year in advance, so it would be at his managers discretion of the could use a couple personal days and the more notice the better.

I’d expect to be receiving a save the date 6-12 months ahead if it was a holiday and an expensive one. I don’t think I’d ever expect an invitation early, but that may be because even for the destination weddings we’ve been invited to invites went out 8-12 weeks before the wedding. I’ve never waited for the formal invite to book a hotel room for a wedding.

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12 weeks is only 90 days and I don't think that's enough time for a destination wedding. Maybe if the guests are financially well off but must have to save for a vacation and request off work several months in advance

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We can request time off anytime but it's based on availability. We start requesting time off in Nov for the following year. And the calendar fills up quick!

Well, this is the scenario I am in. My mom and aunt suggest I sent the Save the Dates 12 months in advance. I thought that was too far out, I was thinking more along the lines of 6 months for Save the Date, and 3 for Invites.

View Quoted Comment That would be our major issue, it seems like someone is off every week and time off around holidays is nearly impossible for my FH to get even with his seniority.

In advance. We like to travel over most holidays (or even make local plans). So I’d prefer a save the date at least 6 months in advance.

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What about the actual invite

I would expect a save the date at least 6 months in advance so I can start tracking flight prices and looking at hotel options. I generally don’t book a flight until 2-3 months before. I would be confused if I received an invitation that early and most likely would set it aside and forget to RSVP.

View Quoted Comment Since the STD would have already provided the dates and location, then I feel that the invite can be sent in standard time. That’s our plan. We’ll also have the website info on the STD and update occasionally to provide more details.

We're doing a holiday weekend (Labor Day weekend, 2020), and all the VIPs already have gotten a message with the date. We're doing save the dates about a year in advance, as there's another wedding at the venue (hotel) that weekend. Our rooms are about $215/night, and we're looking to get another room block nearby that's cheaper.

I personally would want to know as early as a year beforehand.

View Quoted Comment But that’s the point of save the dates. To tell people when and where you’re getting married so they can save/book hotel in advance.

I'd want a save the date at year in advanced and an invite 3-4 months in advanced if it's a holiday.
We're doing it that way because we have a lot of people who travel for work and need to know a year in advanced.
I get all my vacation time allotted in January for work and have to plan my years worth of vacation asap or I'll be SOL requesting time off.

If I had to fly somewhere I'd want more notice, maybe 3 months.

I would say a Save the Date should be sent out at least 6-8 months before the wedding. It can be hard to plan around work sometimes!

I guess I'm asking because we're getting married on New Years Eve. The Hotel gave a must book by date of Nov 15 in order to get the group rate. After that it goes to the New Years Eve rate and that is $100 more or higher based on the type of room chosen. You know everyone wants to be downtown on New Years. And since the hotel has a book date of Nov 15 I made my RSVP date Nov 15 and my venue needs a head count by Dec 1. We do have a few family members in the city we moved to but most are across the state 2-4 hours away or in our home state of Maryland. So we're just trying to decide when to send the invites. I was thinking July 15 for four months out or August 15 at the latest. We have already sent the save the dates but people keep asking me where's the invite

I would want a save the date 8-10 months in advance. If the invitation was sent any more than 3 months before the wedding I would probably forget to RSVP.

View Quoted Comment Did the save the date have a wedding website with the information they need to book? If so there’s no reason to send the invite early. I would let adults be adults and if they miss the cutoff it’s on them and they can figure something out.

I think I'd personally want a save the date six months before and an invite four months before.