Let down by wedding planner ? - opinions needed

My issues were

- long email delays in crunch time ( they were decent in the beginning but 2 weeks before my wedding it took 1 week to respond to an email)

- lack of communication between the 2 planners ( both took week long vacations right before my wedding and I feel this may have played a role but caused some headaches like the day before my wedding my groomsman set up the chairs, on my wedding day I walked into very unhappy groomsman folding up the chairs b/c despite they were the ones I agreed upon with wedding planner a wedding planner b didn't know causing more stress for everyone involved )

- they only scheduled less than an hr for my rehearsal and prep the day before. Brunch ran over 15 minutes and before we even finished our walk through they said they had another meeting an hr away and had to leave. Which perhaps lead to more chaos the following day

- my father ended up working my wedding. They apparently made him set up the ceremony chairs outside in 100 degree weather the day of my wedding. We had agreed the day of the rehearsal that the groomsman would unfold the chairs but they inferred they would put them where they needed to go. I was not happy . Not to mention my father rented a van to pick up my wedding stuff they made him load it into the van and the latch broke they handed him some twine and went on their way. My father had to drive the hour back to his house and unload everything himself. Despite having hotel reservations down there I feel they should have perhaps helped a bit more.

- they didn't say more than 5 words to me before my ceremony, my photographer needed things , my make up artist needed the time line and they were sitting watching the other vendors work, refusing to even help my florist until my mom had to specifically ask them.

- they texted in a corner all night. Literally sat in a corner and texted throughout my reception. My mom came up with the theory that since it was supposed to rain the next day they were in panic mode for the next days wedding... Either way I thought it was inappropriate. Someone knocked a napkin onto a candle, they didn't notice I had to put it out and then told them and they didn't care.

- they asked my mom for a tip. I had decided to see how the event went before tipping the photographer and wedding planner. They apparently approached her asking for gratuity.

- the gave my mom my top layer in a floral box it didn't fit in making it smushed. My mom was not happy and bought a cake box from the hotel she was staying at.

- they cut into my time. Once when I was talking to guests they told me my food was ready and I should eat. I appreciate the thought but wish they would have waited til I wasn't in the middle of a sentence to approach me. They also gave instructions for the cake cutting as everyone was watching gathered around. I feel like things like that should have been handled differently and earlier.

Am I making mountains out of molehills? My parents are quite upset I'm like it's done and over with overall I married the love of my life and that in and of itself was worth it all. How should I handle it?

Hmm. My planner doesn't officially start until February so I can't speak from experience, but even now she's been communicating with me via email to answer any questions I have. I feel like someone you've paid and contracted should be extremely responsive, especially so close to the event. I am genuinely confused as to why they both took vacations so close to your wedding date - did they inform you of these dates far in advance? Or just spring them on you?

When did you book them? If they were with you throughout the entire planning process, I feel like they didn't work as hard as they could have. If they were hired a couple of months prior, I guess I understand some of the miscommunications.

Honestly, it's all said and done and really the only thing you can do is leave a review.

My photographer was hellacious during my wedding. All I could do is leave a bad review for him. I was bitter for weeks (he was also texting in a corner for a good portion of the evening). I still get pissed when I see the pictures (for example, he only took one of the group family shot, and in that one shot, three people have their heads turned because they didn't know he was taking the picture).

So yes, feel upset. But eventually let it go and leave an honest review.

These are things worth bringing up especially if your parents are upset. If you can do so by setting up a meeting to discuss the issues or contact the company and send them this detailed list requesting a partial refund. Check over the contract but it appears they acted unprofessionally.

Let us know what happens!

Leave an honest review. Don't get too emotional with it, just state the facts.

@EricaTx Oh no! Photographers are sooo expensive, I'd be bitter too (to say the least).

Blue one 4, no you are not making a mountains out of mole hills? The RD debacle was just the start. Their job as planners is to hire staff to do all the things they had the groomsmen and your father do. That's what you pay them for. You basically paid them to send text messages.

You're right, it's all over. You can walk away, or you can give them a review.

I'd leave a bad review or ask for a refund. Some of the things you mentioned ... definitely doesn't seem like they acted professionally. I'd definitely expect more from a wedding planner. I hope you didn't tip!

@ Jessica - I hired them august 2013 so they were definitely hired very far in advance

I might add I hired a quite expensive photographer and my wedding planners still cost twice her cost because I got the " full hand - holding " package b/c of how busy I was in the beginning. They ate up 1/ 6 my budget.

I'm not emotional just trying to decide whether to drop it or whether to talk to them / leave reviews... My mom is pushing for a conference call and asking for a partial refund.

They have not received a tip and am not planning on giving them one

Blue one 4, I would send them a tip. A well-written letter voicing my displeasure with the conduct and performance.

Edited to add:

I would would let them know in the letter I would post this on their website.

Oh wow! In that case I think a discussion is in order. If you paid such a high price for them, their professionalism and attention to detail is of utmost importance. They really dropped the ball for you, and I'm sorry.

I'm such a non-confrontational person that I would probably be apprehensive for a conference call, but it sounds like your mom is really appalled by their behavior and if she handled some of their payment, she should get a say. At the VERY least I would advise leaving an honest review and letting your mom talk to them on her own.

That is complete and total crap, and asking your mother for a tip? Unbelievable. Texting? Unforgivable. I'm with your mother; (and I give her credit for not bitch slapping her and her whole 'staff' that night).

1. You send her an unemotional letter detailing why you are displeased with her and her crack staff. You have the basis for it right here.

2. You ask for a partial refund, if not an entire one since what they didn't do caused you more stress than anything they did to eliminate stress.

3. You write a review on her page and here and on yelp and on the Knot.

4. You then forget about it because you're married and even though your family is not pleased (and rightly so), probably your guests had a great time. But don't let her get out of this without paying for her completely incompetent performance.

What a bunch of amateurs. I'm so sorry you had to experience this, but i see it every week. Planners who can't enforce a timeline, have no idea how to deal with other professionals, and who are clearly distracted the day of the wedding. They need to be stopped.

Yes to everything Celia said!!! Hit the nail on the head! You go girl, with your good advice

This sounds horrible. I have a day-of coordinator and we have already discussed what she is responsible for and that she has to be at the rehearsal the night before, etc. She told me in the 1st conversation that SHE would make sure everything was set up the way I wanted and broken down, cleaned up at the end of the night. She will have her husband coming to help and the catering staff will assist as well (they are friends of mine) as will me MOH's hubby and her son and my 16 year old nephew. If I saw her sitting over in a corner texting or any of these other things you mentioned I would be livid. It's her JOB to make sure things go smoothly and handle things when they don't. I'm not paying her to text or hand someone else some twine to fix a broken latch.

I agree with Celia's advise totally. The honest review is very important so others know what they might be getting for their money.

I had a similar situation with our coordinator. She was paid in full prior to the wedding, though, so all I could do was leave an honest review. I definitely suggest you do the same!

I'd add that if there is ANYTHING they did right, add it to the review so it reads as impartial. She's lucky you're not suing her.

Seriously ask for a refund. Their conduct was horrible. Don't just let this slide by. If you don't let them know this isn't acceptable, they'll just do again to another bride. You have to speak up!

Celia - can I just say I love your advice not just on this thread but on all! Hearing you as a wedding vendor agree it was out of line makes me feel a bit more justified that I felt I was left hanging.

That morning was very stressful for me and my family which is exactly what I hired them to avoid. FH thinks because I wasn't a bridezilla during the wedding planning process perhaps they took that as I wasn't one to complain and acted accordingly. I was so busy stressing I forgot to wear my veil and realized right after the ceremony. Not wanting to get upset on my wedding day I just said oh well at least my hair looked awesome. All my wedding planner said was oh yeah she forgot I had a veil but she was amazed that I took that in stride because some of their brides would have let it ruin their day....

I also agree with Celia. You should absolutely detail everything you weren't pleased with in writing and send it to her. You also have totally legitimate reasons to ask for a partial refund. It sounds like she totally dropped the ball.

I disagree with BunnyLove - why should she get a tip?? She did nothing to warrant extra money.

Celia - I'm trying to bypass the suing part but my mother has brought it up because she is that mad . The best things they did were get me in contact with my photographer, florist, and caterer who were awesome and even they seemed a bit annoyed with my planners that day. They also came up with One good idea for decor which took me 4 months to make but did look awesome. That's about all I can come up with unfortunately. I can't decide if they just took personal offense to me because I am in my younger twenties, didn't have an unlimited budget, had a child before marriage, or that I have been with My husband for 2 years. If any if those was an issue I felt it should have been brought up far in advance and I never should have been a Client.

I will say certain people stepped up which made their lackluster performance a bit better including my venue managers husband who helped the groomsman with set up after realizing the planners weren't helping. And my MUA who I found myself who made me sit drink a mimosa and made me enjoy that morning a bit. I plan on taking what would have been my wedding planners tips and dividing it amongst them accordingly. Because THEY went above and beyond their duties to help me have the wedding I planned when the planners fell short.