Kinda NWR: My best friend dumped me.

Mine wasn't before the wedding. But right after. An extremely similar situation that boiled over after her sisters verbally bashed me publically. But she had been my MOH and actually done many things in an effort to ruin the day for me. Such as staring angry at the camera in all but 2 pictures, inviting people to my ceremony and my finding out on the day of from the cruiseline. I had to pay for each of them. And telling me before I walked down the aisle that my makeup "looked absolutely horrible" So, after she removed me from her life because I was 'mean to her sisters' (I removed their comments degrading me from my timeline) she then mailed me everything I ever left at her home via USPS. Without a return address. Honestly, it's her loss. I loved her dearly and was always her listening ear and crying shoulder. I feel that your situation is the same. It's her loss. But I know how much its hurting you. I'm so sorry.

I lost my best friend because I dropped a pillow on her butt...and her mother is a psychotic narcissistic bitch from hell whose grave I hope to piss on someday.

It really threw me for a loop, too. I'd look at your behavior, but sometimes the answer is "people suck."

Thanks to everyone who was supportive, I'll see if I can hunt down her address, I don't think she sent her new one to me for wedding invites though.

And I do occasionally post about politics on facebook but I did much more 2 months ago then I have lately, and she posts about them two so that would be rather hypocritical.

The more I think about some of the things she says about white pride and other things that rub me the wrong way but I never expressed because I was worried she'd react a lot she did now maybe this is just what needed to happen...but every time I finish something with the wedding and go to tell her and realize I can't it sucks all over again and I just wanna know how things are with her new dude and how something her mother did last weekend went....I dunno it's confusing.

@Lorith that is horrible I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine a friend trying to actively hurt your feelings on your wedding day!

That would have made me upset if I tried to talk to one of my close friends and they said I don't have time for this. I would think well obviously our friendship isn't that important to you. But there maybe more to the story.

I'll tell you about why I stopped being friends with someone who I had been 'friends' with for ages. I was growing steadily more and more fed up with her bullsh!t. Attempts to reach out and smooth over were rebuffed. This person's actions proved she didn't care about me, she just stayed around for benefits (things like the house and car lived in and had, supportive parents, culinary skills). She had spread rumors about me that crashed my social life.

So I cut her from my life. It was easier after leaving small meth town to continue to do so.

I was also on the receiving end of it. My ex-friend was dating a guy who we had both laughed and made fun of. She didn't want to tell anyone she was dating him until she finally did. I would tease her afterwards, and apparently her resentment and inability to tell me to knock it off lead to a huge row over social media, and that's been the end of it since. I was actually hurt over it, since I really respected this girl. Much less so when they decided to get married at a friend's birthday party because Friend already has a cake there, and people they knew are there too.

Is there something that you've think has been building up? Anything you think is a joke that she's maybe not taking so kindly to? Any unexpected toxicity?

I'll tell you about why I stopped being friends with someone who I had been 'friends' with for ages. I was growing steadily more and more fed up with her bullsh!t. Attempts to reach out and smooth over were rebuffed. This person's actions proved she didn't care about me, she just stayed around for benefits (things like the house and car lived in and had, supportive parents, culinary skills). She had spread rumors about me that crashed my social life.

So I cut her from my life. It was easier after leaving small meth town to continue to do so.

I was also on the receiving end of it. My ex-friend was dating a guy who we had both laughed and made fun of. She didn't want to tell anyone she was dating him until she finally did. I would tease her afterwards, and apparently her resentment and inability to tell me to knock it off lead to a huge row over social media, and that's been the end of it since. I was actually hurt over it, since I really respected this girl. Much less so when they decided to get married at a friend's birthday party because Friend already has a cake there, and people they knew are there too.

Is there something that you've think has been building up? Anything you think is a joke that she's maybe not taking so kindly to? Any unexpected toxicity?

Honestly, I'm not sure I would have said I didn't have time for her had she been blowing up my phone wanting to discuss her issues, but at the same time I can totally understand how moving is stressful, and you wanting to get things done. I think her blocking you like that is a bit crazy, and I'm sorry you have to go through all this extra stress. If a friend can ride you off that fast, they were never a real friend to begin with in my opinion.

That is a crude boiled down version of what I said and you know it. I think I would understand that life has things that you HAVE to get done. My FH is only home two days a week, I have a 4 year old. I don't have a lot of time to do the packing that I need to consult FH on, like what things go in storage and what we are taking with us. I'm fairly certain 10pm on Sunday isn't the best time to tell your friend you don't want to be either friend, especially when you know what they have going on right then.

I would have said something I shouldn't have because I was stressed out. I can't have an emotional discussion when I am that wrung out...I SOBBED that night and that was BEFORE she blocked me. I needed time. I didn't mean to hurt her with that but she isn't the ONLY one with feelings and emotions. I thought part of friendship also required thinking of how the other person felt. I told her I loved her and that I thought we were friends. *Shrug*

Can't please everyone and I admitted it wasn't ALL her but I do feel it was extreme and I some other people here agreed.

This happened to me. I said the same thing because I needed to make time to truly devote my attention to her and the problem. It sucks but I think it's part of a transition phase.

Angela, it sounds like your friend has drunk the Trump kool-aid. Upwards and onwards.

@DS I didn't realize there was an issue with thanking people that were supportive. And yea, the white pride stuff is icky along with some other things...but I still considered her a friend.

Thanks @Angela it sucked but I had even let it go. Apparently she harbored resentment for me for a long time. I was never aware. Sometimes people just don't belong together. Like romantic relationships. They don't all work. If you ever want to talk or anything (its really does hurt like getting dumped) seek me out.

@Diane that was exactly it! I didn't want to half ass the conversation while I ABSOLUTELY HAD to work on packing. It's hard to do this when I'm the only one home to do it most the time. I wanted to actually be able to have the conversation...

@boozybaker yes there was trump koolaid and while I have removed a few people, like ex-coworkers I wasn't close to, over their trump posts it's different when it's a close friend. I just didn't discuss it...

@DS also I'm not trying to be rude to you, just thanked the people who were supportive because I am HURT. It is a mess. Part of my wants to be okay with not being friends because of the difference that bothered me but I ignored but so far it isn't okay and I'm extra frustrated because I don't know what to do about it.

A true friendship doesn't have to have rhyme or reason. It ebbs and flows with the constant change we all experience in our lives throughout the years. That you should be friends in spite of differences in politics and religions should say something positive not a reason to disassociate. While this may have been a time to stop and ask where this is coming from, that she should be so quick to cut you off sounds as if her mind was pretty much made up.

You have to be tougher. I have cut off friends of decades, not because specifically political stuff, but we're just not as close, or "you're only *slightly* toxic". Life is short. I don't have time for anyone even 1% toxic to be in my life. Only good stuff and people.

I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes people leave out lives for a reason and sometimes we are testing to make things stronger either way it will hurt now but in the end things will work our how they are supposed to be. Her excuse seems like that, an excuse and you need to decide if the friendship is worth trying to save or if it's ok to let it end either way it will hurt and I am sorry that it does. Best wishes.

Something similar happened to me senior year of high school. I was devastated. One of the girls in our group stood up in the cafeteria and screamed at me that she "didn't fucking like me" and didn't want me to sit with them anymore (omg how I wish I was making that up). Found out years later that it was apparently started over jealousy over a boy who I "stole" from one of them. The guy I "stole": a mutual friend brought two of his cousins to hang out with us. Completely unbeknownst to me our friend had told the other girl that he thought she and cousin A would make a cute couple. Cousin A got there and we hit it off, he never even spoke to the other girl beyond saying hi. Clearly I stole him from her. It was awful for a while but In the end, I realized I was much happier without them in my life.

Sometimes people suck

I see both sides to this. Is blocking you from social media and your number a bit extreme? Yes. If she is willing to end on that note, then maybe she wasn't a great friend either. But I will tell you that I had a very good friend tell me she didn't have time to discuss something that really upset me (her other friend was making me uncomfortable and making rude comments while we were both in her home) and I'm still miffed honestly. But I didn't end our friendship. Unless I was in the middle of moving my couch, I would have taken the time to chat at least for a little before suggesting a later continuation of the conversation. Life throws stressors at us all the time. I can't think of a time in my life that I didn't have time to listen to a good friend voice their concerns unless I was physically unable to be by my phone at the moment. That's just my personal opinion and understand that many people handle stress differently.