Kids or no kids??

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I would prefer not to invite any member of the family if they can't bring their child.

We had a kids free wedding except for our 4 nieces and nephews that were in the bridal party. If we had invited all kids, it would have been 50 more guests, and we just couldn’t afford that!

I literally made a post about this because I also couldn’t decide!!! I was torn because I want to have my flower girl and all that but everyone on my post said it’s totally okay to have them and tell others to stay home. We still haven’t decided and are kinda at the point where we are looking to see how many kids will actually come and how it will effect the guest list. If it goes over a certain number that we can’t/don’t want to accommodate then we will tell everyone no kids except the flower girl and ring bearer. My biggest things isn’t the kids ruining anything mine is that the guest list goes from two adults to a family of 4 or 5. I am worried it’s going to add up very quickly and we would have to change our catering and the amounts of everything like chairs, tables, etc

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That's not really a true or fair statement. One of the main reasons I'm inviting children is because literally all the regular babysitters will be at the wedding! Like my sisters (bridesmaids) and I were talking about going dress shopping together and realized we'd have to haul all 10-12 of the kids with us because we are the only ones who watch each others kids. And finding a sitter you can be comfortable with also depends on the age of the children. My 9 and 12 year old I'm good with someone I don't know super well watching them but I would never have if they were under like 7. Too many weirdos out there.

That's the thing about family functions and kids... if the regular babysitters are going to be attending the wedding it really puts parents in a bind. I'm really digging the brides that are hiring babysitters to watch the kids in house. It can be quite anxiety filled to leave your child with someone new. It relieves the anxiety to have the stranger watching your kids right in the next room, know what I mean?

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Listen I understand having anxiety about leaving your children with people you don't know but it's still not the responsibility of the marrying couple to figure out your childcare needs. You've elected to have kids at your wedding and that was totally up to you but a wedding is practically a party and a very expensive one at that. most children don't care or want to be at such an organized function so whether it's a true or fair statement, if a couple does not want children at their wedding that's totally up to them and if someone can't understand that then that's really too bad.

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No, you apparently don't get the problem if you don't have empathy. What I was pointing out was your incorrect statement about people not coming because they "don't really want to be there" if they can't find a sitter which is dismissive and incorrect.

Point being if you decide not to have children at your ceremony be prepared that some people won't be able to make it. Not because they don't "really want to" but because it's not something they can pull off because the needs of their children come first. It's not a reason to be upset or feel some type of way about if they don't come, just something you should be aware of.

We're doing no kids except our three, at the time of our wedding they will be 12, 9 and 1. We were originally going to ask his nephews to be in the wedding party 7 and 4, but my BIL refuses to be accountable for them and it's not a risk I'm willing to take. So we opted just for our children. People are upset, yes, but it's our day. 🤷

One of my cousin's did that for her wedding. Her ceremony was pretty small (maybe 20 people), she didn't want children there except for her son and her sister's daughter (baby was maybe 4 months at the time). No one got mad.

We are definitely having kids there! I absolutely love my younger cousins, my family friends babies and all of the families coming! We are doing custom coloring pages that my artist friend is drawing for us and having a chicken nugget meal available for the little people!

Its completely ok to have the 2 flower girls but no other kids! That's exactly what we are doing. The only 3 children at our wedding is my 5 year old cousin, 2 1/2 year old nephew, and a family friends daughter who is 6 and our flower girl. Just make it known on the invite or website that it is an Adult only Affair