On top of trying to plan my wedding in the middle of a pandemic, I got diagnosed with Crohn's and lost my best friend. She was going to be my MOH and long story short: we fought, she said very hurtful things, and we're no longer friends. I feel so lonely and alone in my feelings. I love my FH but I feel like he's surprisingly very calm about everything. He's been an amazing support throughout my Crohn's diagnosis and everything, but I feel like he can't relate to my stress about the wedding and the depression from losing my friend on top of getting diagnosed.
I got invited to a friend's bachelorette party for later this year and I just wanted to cry. I started to think about how I don't have a MOH to plan one for me and how I feel like I practically have no close friends...it was really depressing.
I'm trying to remain hopeful as our wedding is smaller to begin with and is outside. We also don't have anyone traveling from out of state. I'm in Ohio and things are opening back up on May 1st. I just created a backup list of 50 guests just in case we're limited on our gathering size.
I've already learned that it would cost us a lot to postpone, so I'm dreading doing that. We've already invested over $7k in this wedding. We're waiting until July to make the final call, but just waiting is hard. I feel like things change daily at this point so it's hard to say if a wedding is possible or not in a few months. I just feel so discouraged. Almost all of our planning has stopped since everything is so uncertain at this point.
I just have to get my feelings out there. I know there are other future brides that feel just as nervous, anxious, and/or upset as me. I'm hoping for all of us that our weddings can happen!