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Expert September 2012

Jackets required?

Sarah, on March 10, 2012 at 12:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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I am getting married in NY and all my family are from the South where weddings are much more "casual" in my experience (I've been to a ton of weddins in both the south and north). I would like my stepmom, who I adore, to be a part of the ceremony and for my stepbrother to escort her down the aisle. My stepmom mentioned that he does not own a suit and will just wear a dress shirt and dark pants. I know that every male guest attending the wedding will wear a suit and I will be a little embarressed if my stepbro, who is in the ceremony, does not wear a jacket. Should I ask him to wear a suit jacket? Or does that seem like I'm being too bossy and demanding of his attire? My thoughts are to mention it to my father and have him speak with my stepmom and stepbrother directly.

Thank you.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by colleen, on March 10, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Master December 2011
Carrie · on March 10, 2012 at 12:13 PM
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Yes mention it to your father. I assume the step brother will also be in formal group pictures. He may feel really uncomfortable and out of place if he is the only one without a jacket. Suggest checking somewhere like Men's Warehouse - they are always having a sale.
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Master June 2012
Labake · on March 10, 2012 at 12:15 PM
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If he's in the wedding, you have a little bit more say over what he wears.

Explain to him that everyone else will be in a suit and your wedding is more formal than a dress shirt and pants. If possible, try and offer to pay for him to rent one or borrow one if its in the budget.

I would speak to your stepbrother directly. That way, it doesn't seem like you're trying to cause drama by circumventing your stepmom/brother by complaining to your dad. Ultimately, you know your family and the dynamics.
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Master May 2012
Rachel W. · on March 10, 2012 at 12:32 PM
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I agree, I would ask him directly. Just explain that everyone else will be dressed formally and wearing suits and jackets, so you'd like him to do the same. If he needs help paying, maybe offer to split the rental with him or something along those lines.
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Devoted July 2012
colleen · on March 10, 2012 at 1:45 PM
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If he is in your wedding he should be attired properly. Can he rent a suit for the occasion?
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