I've Become the Smug Married Friend.

I'm obviously not married yet but I do feel like that sometimes. I've had a couple friends that have talked about what they want there wedding to be like and I remember one of them saying she wanted a wedding in a castle and wants to invite like 300 people and I was just like uhhhhh okay do you realize how much that's gonna cost

I am not merried yet, but I find myself sometimes trying to give relationship advice to people who are having issues. The worst is when my mom/stepdad have issues (which is most of the time.) I have had my share of crappy relationships. Now that I have finally found THE ONE, I feel that I have a lot of insight on what wasn't right in the last relationships. FH and I have only been together for just under 3 years, so giving my mom advice on relationships feels very weird.

DH and I have such a good relationship and everyone around us knows that...

Sometimes when I try to give my friends advices I feel like they think Im showing off or trying to rub it on their faces or something like that...but really Im not, Im just trying to open their eyes, I also had bad relationships...we all had!!

and they think Im boring now, because I dont think some stuff we used to do or say back when we were single arent funny anymore!!

I guess you grow up after being married, I did!!

We haven't gotten married yet (69 days!) but we've been planning for the better part of a year and yes I feel a little bit like the smug (almost) married friend.

I think when you are single you are seeing the whole thing from a very one-sided point of view. By the time you are engaged you hopefully can take your partner's point of view into consideration also. This creates such a beautiful blending of two visions that your wedding is expressly the two of you.

However, I do remember back to before I met FI, when I was single, and my "dream wedding". My ideas from then are not very much like my actual day. FI and compromised on things and I think the way things are turning out is so much better than my imagined wedding. It's more "us". If you had asked single Tyra she wouldn't have gotten it. It was being in a relationship with someone who I wanted to compromise and create a life with that made me get it. I think that's probably how it has to work for most.

I don't have many friends, but unless her parents are going to pay for her ring and wedding, she really needs to realize that money doesn't grow on men! Lol.

I don't think it's a case of being a "smug married" I think it's a case of being realistic.

I don't think it's smug, I think it's intelligent. It's not about the size of a ring or your venue or guest list.. it's about the love 2 people share. I didn't have anything to do w/ choosing my ring b/c I didn't want to know what my fiance spent, nor did I want to choose something out of his budget and then make him feel like he HAD to spend a ton to make me happy. My ring is perfect for me, completely gorgeous, and even more special to me b/c my future husband chose it for me and worked really hard to purchase it for me. We have a beautiful venue and are inviting people who mean something to us, not every person we've ever met, to keep it personal. I think this mentality comes with maturation though.. and it sounds like your friend is just young, if not in age then in mentality.

I'm sure she thinks her husband will make 6 figures and mom and dad will pay for the wedding... Everyone dreams of this amazing million dollar wedding, until they see what's in the bank and realize there's not a million there. I hate people like that! Like the people who are losing houses cause they needed over the Top and can't afford it, or the people with a 50k car and not a cent In savings... Reality sinks in fast!

I guess I'm smug as well lol.

I wouldn't call that smug married just someone who is realistic. I've seen people take that kind of attitude on a variety of things - first jobs, first home, etc. It's even funnier with first time parents and how they think there kids are going to turn out. My cousin for example seems to have some strange idea her kid is not going to be into sports and will be a "science geek" just like her. He's 5 months old I'd wish she'd chill out...

You could never be terrible, Pan! But you were wise to keep silent.

I think a lot of brides were once the single girl with dreams of a big wedding. Watching the bridal shows doesn't help! So--let her have her pipe dream. One day, she'll get engaged and then she'll figure out what's what but for now, there is no harm. And if she doesn't change, then that's her issue, not yours.

Pan. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have people who think like that and wonder why they never meet decent people.

Amy V: Do we run in the same circle? lol

I agree with Halloween bride.. you dont have to be married to know that...

You do know, but you're one very wise Pan. Your friend is clueless, but that's pretty common.