It's your wedding, but......have you made any decisions just because they made someone else happy?

I’m torn because while I’m excited for a full blown wedding (not common in my circle and makes me excited) the money aspect has me always second guessing. I wanted to elope and have a nice dinner with parents/siblings, but FH wants the full blown wedding. I think it’s sweet, but man the money lol

#truth# I don't think I had a realistic expectation of the cost of services like catering, venue, and alcohol......it is a bit mind blowing! I am glad we started 18 months out!

This is a BIG reason we are having a surprise wedding! I don't want to deal with others opinions unless I specifically ask for them. And at that point, I come to all you ladies for advice. Because I can take it or leave it and you won't care, since you don't know me. Haha.

If I were to tell family and friends about it, I'd have a ton of bridesmaids, he would have tons of groomsmen, rehearsal dinner, Bach parties, my mom would want me in a "real" wedding gown (something more expensive than the gorgeous dress I got for $72).....so I'm glad we are having a surprise wedding!

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Sounds amazing!! Enjoy!

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How did it go???

A little bit. We want a very small wedding, 50-60 people. We had our guest list all planned out, and FHs dad said he absolutely needed 2 people. If I gave him two, I knew my dad would want a specific couple as well. I was mopey for a few weeks, but at the end of the day, both my parents and his parents are paying for it and I need to recognize that, and I'm lucky in that I know and like both couples being invited, and put myself in their shoes: If I was giving my kid that much money, I'd want to have that extra couple there. Everything else I'm being very blunt, I feel like a "nope" machine. Nope, that guys not coming. Nope, I'm not looking into that venue you saw one time. Nope, nope, nope...

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I do understand........no one wants to be debbie downer but sometimes you do have to remind people (even those paying) that it is your day and you get a certain about of slack! I do like your attitude: it's not going to cause your cards to come crashing down by allowing them to have some of their special friends around for support (or to feel jealous that you look so beautiful). We can allow our parents that special moment too!

In a way, yes. We just wanted a simple ceremony as well. But after I told my sisters and friends they all wanted to participate, same with my nieces. So I told them they could participate if they wanted to and I'm leaving it up to them to get their ducks in a row. All I told them was a solid primary colored dress.

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I told my bridemaids (2 sisters & 2 nieces) that they could wear any dress they wanted as long as it was sage green. I provided swatches. I have seen more forest, emerald, hunter, etc...…...At this point, if it is green, it will pass! :-)

View Quoted Comment Yeah that’s about where I am lol. Solid color? Pass! Although I did tell my one sister she needs to wear a bra and be conservative since it’s in a church.

View Quoted Comment Not so good at first but both of my cousin are in different stages of their life and I had my reasons which everyone knew I was right. One of them lives in the other side of the world with 2 kids so I would have prefer her to pay for the trip to come over instead of being a bridesmaid. She was pregnant by the time I started planning and her older child was part of our wedding party. She took it the worst but in the end she couldn’t even afford to come to our wedding. So I was right.
The second one is just very financially unstable. I told her I would prefer if she went to the wedding and help with her mom’d expenses instead of being a bridesmaid. She took it well but couldn’t afford to go to the wedding either, not even the bachelorette party or bridal shower. Again I was right.
So do you and follow your gut! It never fails.

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I agree! Glad your special day was that much more special!