Is it to late to change venue and overall everything?

It's never too late to do what you think is best. I would suggest that you write down all the pros and cons, like con: would maybe lose a deposit? Pro: Save money overall and so on. I don't have any personal experience to help you through this.. I would just sit down with your FH and really weigh all the options. Then after writing the list, put it away for a few days, maybe a week, and come back to it when your emotions have subdued a bit. That way you are really making the best decision for you! Good luck girl

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True okay I will do that, thank you

If it helps to know, you are not alone. In fact, most of what you have described is very common and I would even say the normal bridal experience. Unfortunately, movies really build up this fantasy about being engaged and planning a wedding. They make it seem like your life magically transforms into a Disney movie and all your friends and family are so excited and eager to help you with anything. But that is not reality. In reality, no one is really as excited about your wedding as you and your FH. In fact, some of our friends and family just aren't excited at all and don't care about wedding planning or weddings in general. Or, they are simply busy with their own life. That is okay and it is very normal. The only people who should be excited and helping plan and pay for the wedding are you and your FH. Anyone else is just icing on the cake.

My experience was no different. My family did not come to my wedding. My husband's family was not interested at all, though after the wedding they raved about having a good time. We planned and paid for the wedding ourselves. I didn't really talk about wedding stuff with my bridal party and they didn't ask.

As far as cancelling your venue, read what your contract states to determine if you can get any of your money back. Many venues will have a clause in the contract that will pro-rate how much money you get back based on how close in time you cancel to the actual wedding date.

Also, Sunday weddings do run the risk of some people not coming or complaining about that day, but they are becoming more popular and a good way to save money on the venue usually. My first wedding was a Sunday because I saved so much money on that day versus a Saturday. Just ignore the complainers since you can't make everyone happy.

So sorry you are feeling this way. I totally agree with the posts above. You definitely need to sit down and weigh the costs, and make sure you won't lose a ton of money on the venue. You could opt to have a smaller wedding now, since it sounds like that's really what you want, and then try to throw a big party for your 1 or 5 year anniversary. Maybe by then some of the medical, financial, and friend issues will shake out and you can have fun instead of stressing. I really hope everything works out for you!

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TY I just was informed we won;t get any of our money back..so as of right now I am not sure. I am very confused and conflicted on which route to even look at.

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Thank you for your kind words

I just spoke to the venue and they gave us an extension and have been so amazing that I do not even want to go elsewhere my heart says to stay so I think that is what we will do.

It is absolutely NEVER too late to do what makes you happy! You have a lot going on and all the planning on top of everything can be overwhelming in itself. Of all people your MOH should be a should to lean on. It sounds like she is not a support system at all and perhaps you should consider another MOH. This marriage journey is about you and FH. and you should enjoy the entire journey just as much as you will enjoy your big day. If you want smaller and intimate do that. If you want to just marry your honey...elope and do a ceremony later when y'all are in a better position financially and you have more support. But, most importantly do what works best for you and your situation.

I have BM's out of state and my mom is out of state so I totally get the frustration there, but, I would maybe check out the "Meet-up" app. They may have local brides in your area and y'all can bounce ideas off of eachother and they may be more geeked to go dress hopping with you and you will all have that bond in common. And you always have your WW sisters here for you as well...fell free to reach out anytime...I know it can be frustrating. BIG HUGS Hun!

Never too late. If there’s going to be drama with a big wedding, then just do a small one. This is about you.

If if I were in your state I’d come dress shopping with you. Such a fun process. Loved watching my friend find hers.

This is Day isn’t about your friends and family. It’s about you and your FH. Do what feels right. Everyone else will get over it. And if not, we’re they in your life for your right reasons to begin with?

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OMG I didn't know about that!! Thank you!! I know my FH informed me maybe I should remove MH she just had a baby so I GET IT but we have been engaged for 1.5 years before her pregnancy she wasn't involved either. So I honestly am not taking the pregnancy or baby excuse anymore, another BM had a baby as well and has 4 kids and has done everything to help so to me I am not sure. I think my MOH would not want to be it either personally I think she loves the title but I wish I just made her a BM. Unfortunately their dresses at davids bridal are in season so they got their dresses already so I would hate to demote MOH and I wouldn't but idk. If she does I get it but I wouldn't ask her too. I am glad you see where I am coming from, I was afraid I would be hard to understand, thank you again.

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Exactly! Well said and you are so sweet thank you!!!

View Quoted Comment How far can you push it out to? You could do a small intimate wedding now and do a big party reception for whenever they pushed the venue rental out for.

You've gotten some great advice here, I also agree with making a list of pros and cons and that if you really think you are THAT unhappy about it then you should do something smaller. BUT I did just want to add, I think on the day of the wedding you will feel so happy to be married to your husband and so surrounded by the love of the people who are there, that you won't feel any of this negativity anymore. Financial stressors, plus several people had thoroughly gotten on my nerves and/or upset me throughout the planning process were also things that several times got me to the point where I also wanted to cancel and do something small...... but on the day of the wedding, I was SO glad I went through with it. Honestly all the negativity just melts away. If you can try to take a deep breath, take a step back, and remember none of your family or friends are going to behave any differently from how they usually behave just because you're getting married (unfortunately...) but on other days you love them anyway, so maybe just remember that...... and it's just one day, so just take it for what it is and enjoy it for what it is.... I think you'll be very happy.

Just my perspective!

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Yes thank you I have decided we are going to do it I have no choice lol I am losing about 3500 if I decide not to do it. Venue confirmed I wouldn't receive my deposit and they are working with us financially. I am just going to push through thank you for your kind words

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They gave us an extension for the next payment just 2 weeks out. It is okay we have decided to keep it, if it were to much and we wanted to remove stuff that is financially difficult we can.

Oh wow @Arlene, it sounds like you are working with a great venue! That's so nice that they granted you the extension, I think they know that life happens and wedding planning is expensive. LOL. Now, that being said it doesn't mean you can't host a smaller more intimate wedding than you originally planned. If that's what you and your FH would like to do. This is the day that the two of you are getting married and seriously nobody else's opinions on that matter... so what if you picked Sunday, they can get over it (I'm getting married on a Thursday, if people don't like it...don't come because I don't want you raining on my wedding). Regarding your MOH, truthfully it sounds like you two need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart. I'm not trying to be ugly but if your bridal party isn't being supportive and helping however they can, than they're not doing what they're supposed to do. You, as the bride, have a lot on your plate and those ladies are supposed to be there to assist you with things and help you throughout the process. I'm so sorry that they're not being there for you like that.

Dress shopping.... perhaps look into some places that have samples delivered to you (Rent the Runway, Azazie, etc.), then you could go to your Mom's and try them on with her. She would be able to be with you and you'd have those memories together. Best of luck on your journey and know that you're not alone, you have a whole crew of people on here that want nothing but the best for you and your wedding day.

View Quoted Comment You’re absolutely right on all of that!! Definitely I’ve been talking to a local bridal shop I’m planning to go alone find my top 2 then bring my mom to choose when I buy it that way she’s not waiting for 2-3 hours for me. My MOH I’m not going to.. I love her she’s my best friend but I’m not exhausting that I know her she won’t think anything of it sadly and it may cause more issues ima just enjoy the wedding & see how rest goes. The ones hating on Sunday I said the same thing they don’t have to come saves me 108 per head so idc one of them is my bridesmaid and idc either she bought her dress so she can lose money and not
come or just be quiet. People like to see people fail or complain I’ve learned. Thank you for your kind words !!

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Yes, unfortunately you are correct that people like to complain or watch other flounder. Keep your head up though and do the best you can do to make the wedding everything you and your FH want it to be. Best of luck.

If doing a DW will make you feel like a queen, then do it.

Cancelling a wedding isn't the end of the world. You do need to let everyone know, and there will be questions, but don't let anyone make you think you have to answer invasive questions or spill your dirty laundry. Family and friends who actually matter will understand, and they're the ones who will do practically anything for your wedding to turn out the way you want it, by the way.