Is it selfish to still have a wedding reception during the pandemic?

View Quoted Comment 😂😂😂 every word of that, so accurate! I faced so much guilt from my in laws for wanting to cut down our guest list when the only option our venue gave wad that or cancel the wedding. And now theyre trying to guilt us out of going on our honeymoon. Everyone needs to stop judging so much

Getting angry at other people who think that you should postpone or cancel is in itself selfish. Wedding receptions today are VERY selfish affairs and that's totally ok and expected in today's social media domianted world! But right now, with what is going on in the world it can be seen as very selfish to proceed with a large reception and expect people to attend. Can you honestly say you wouldn't hold it against a sibling or other person who is close to you for not attending if they don't feel comfortable in light of the current situation? My guess is most couples who are proceeding with their weddings would and that's totally unfair. Weddings are supposed to be about you starting your life with your partner, not about the big party. Unfortnately, as a society we've lost sight of that and it's become more about the big celebration than the act of getting married and starting your "forever." That said, you should absolutely NOT postpone getting married by any means, but the big party shouldn't be happening right now and I'm really sorry it may not look the way that you wanted it to look. When you're much older, wiser and happier, you can look back at the one day (which you will actually forget many parts of) and you will understand what the "old people" who have been happily married for 10+ years are talking about. Maybe take some advice from them and start your marriage on the right foot and move on. Be happy with your choice of partner in your actual "forever" and stop focusing on the day, which will one day be just one memory in your happy life of many wonderful memories.

View Quoted Comment Thanks, Mary. I can send you my Venmo if you’d like to cover the 15k+ we’d lose for cancelling. We’ve ENCOURAGED people to cancel if they don’t feel safe. Your holier than thou attitude actually reveals how vapid you are because your focus is on waiting for the big reception, we’ve more than fine moving forward with 1/3 of our guest list because the giant celebration where people feel obligated to attend is not important to us, the marriage is. For some people that big celebration is very important and that’s fine too. The wedding should be however the bride and groom want to celebrate and I don’t think anyone is looking for the opinion of someone who is never going to experience anything like.

I see it as a double edged sword. You can't put your life on hold and it's not selfish *if* you strictly abide by the state and venue's regulations, with all the necessary precautions of masks, sanitizer, social distancing, etc. Where it does become selfish is when couples whether in high risk hot spots or not get defensive and treat the regulations as completely optional due to inconvenience and ignore all safety precautions in favor of pretty pictures instead. Cancelling vendors who abide by the state regulations, giving guests the message that if they dont feel comfortable attending, they're not that important and the list goes on. It's all about how it's approached.

I don't like holding a wedding during a pandemic because I think it puts guests in difficult situations. I can see that it is creating a lot of family drama that will probably outlast the ceremony. It's fine to say that every guest has their own choice on whether or not to attend, but the truth is that there is an expectation that a guest will show up. It's actually dividing households in my family. If you can push to next year, do so and people will relax.

View Quoted Comment Yikes! Tell your guests they're not that important and move on? That seems a bit aggressive.

View Quoted Comment I agree. I've seen a small handful of posts around here where someone says if a guest has issues attending due to the pandemic then the couple didn't want them wasting money or space in the first place. That is very harsh and cold and no guest deserves to be treated like that, but some people don't care about other's feelings no matter what the setting is unfortunately. You have to figure out a happy medium that works for both parties.

We are moving forward with our wedding on 10/31. I’m working with our venue and vendors to make sure we are keeping people as safe as possible. We deceased our guest list down to 40 people so we can properly social distance. I will be providing masks and hand sanitizer. If guests still do not feel safe, we will
also have a virtual option. Rescheduling isn’t an option for us, but I 100% understand if guests aren’t comfortable attending, and I am doing my best to communicate that with ALL our guests. I respect their choice no matter what it is or the reason for it.

View Quoted Comment I’m thinking of putting someone in charge to squirt hand sanitizer on peoples hands as they come in, come up to the food tables, etc. and maybe also reminding/asking people to put their masks on when they are up from their tables and on the dance floor. I think we’re lucky most of our guest are very conscious about masks and hand washing, but at the end of the day you can only do so much.

WeddingBee is generally brutal. Post at your own risk

Also I don't think it's selfish if you follow safety protocols and if you don't get an attitude with guests who don't feel safe coming. The pandemic *requires* us to let every individual take on their own level of risk (within the scope of the law) or our society won't survive.