Is it selfish to still have a wedding reception during the pandemic?

I don’t think it’s selfish at all. I’m proceeding with my wedding in August, and we also cannot postpone. I stay off WeddingBee because I find it to be overall more negative than here. I don’t think it’s fair for people to accuse couples moving forward with their weddings of being selfish. I think that guests can make their own decisions on whether or not they want to come, and we have informed all of our guests that if they are not ready to be in a social setting such as a wedding, we completely understand and don’t want them to feel badly about it. Even here, people have commented that it’s wrong to put people in the position of having to decide whether or not to come or miss out, but I respectfully disagree. It’s the couple’s choice to move forward and the guests choice to participate. With your safety measures in place, you have nothing to feel guilty about! Best wishes to you as you continue to plan your big day. 💕

You are not being selfish. No one could of predicted that this would happen this year. Life has to continue, we can't continue to live in fear of what is going on and what could happen. One of my future cousin in laws said something similar and posted it on social media. I was very hurt when she said this. Honestly at this point if people don't want to come because of COVID that is on them, not on me or any other bride. While I do understand their reasoning, they have to understand mine for wanting to have my wedding this year. I have been planning for over a year, I'm ready to continue with my life post wedding planning. Do not let the Debby Downers get you down.

I don't think so either - you're holding it but that doesn't mean people don't have the option to not attend ya know? you're being mindful of precautions too it seems.

View Quoted Comment I’ve noticed it tends to be very negative on there actually!!

I don’t think it’s selfish at all! We’re proceeding as normal because if our vendors don’t cancel we have to and we’d be out thousands of dollars and we just can’t afford to pay that again. We want a house and there’s only so much we can spend on one day so if this wedding doesn’t happen in October or get canceled by vendors then we don’t get to have a wedding. We more than understand that not everyone is ready for a reception right now and that’s totally fine. We won’t be pressuring anyone and we’ll be taking precautions. But at the end of the day if you’re still uncomfortable you don’t have to come.

It's not selfish at all. October is far enough away and assuming the venue and your vendors are taking proper precautions then I think you're just fine. We're still going full steam with our and we're having a destination wedding in FL and it's once again a "hot spot"

I also find that the most negative people, even on here, have been married for 10 years and find us brides incredibly selfish and irresponsible.


These same individuals probably have kids and will be sending them to school with me in the fall were the guest list is at 1000 plus. So.... have your wedding, be safe and understand that people will attend and that’s perfectly okay.

Oops sorry... Will not*

It’s not selfish at all! If we live for anything in life it’s these moments like your wedding day. Why is it not selfish that Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks is considered an essential business serving hundreds and hundreds of different people a day at their locations, but your wedding is considered selfish? That’s my view on it. I don’t think it’s selfish at all. People have to understand that not everyone is rich and willing to lose out on thousands and thousands of dollars.With everything going on in this country right now between protests on one side and rallies on the other side I think a wedding with your closest family and friends is definitely not selfish.

View Quoted Comment It is! Here is way more oriented around showing support and bouncing ideas off of each other. Such a different tone on WeddingWire than weddingbee.

I struggle with this balancing act of is it selfish or should we continue as planned. Fiancé and I and both our families agreed that we are going to make sure and do our best to follow all CDC guidelines for our reception no matter what. Spacing out seats in the ceremony, grouping families together in far apart tables for reception, even having pre-bagged cocktail snacks and dessert bar options instead of open snack displays, servers for the dinner buffet and releasing people by table to get their food, hand sanitizer everywhere, encourage masks and have some ready for backup, maybe move the dance floor outside, the list goes on and on. We expect a huge drop in attendance because let’s be real, it is scary and we just don’t know what is going to happen. But even if it is just FH and our immediate family, we will make it work and have faith. This wedding is our light in the middle of the tunnel. It has helped me have a concrete and positive goal to get me through this uncertain time. Hang in there! You are not alone.

If you’re taking precautions, like you are, and following all government rules then I think it’s completely fine.

Not selfish at all... my FH and I are going full speed ahead with our Aug 30th wedding and we're in NY. Ive been reading sooo many opinions by people who are already married and arent going through this situation, or people who obviously can afford to postpone their wedding without any reprocussions or other big worries related to waiting a year. Everyone and their mother has an opinion, but that doesnt mean you need to listen to them. Also, your not responsible for what other people do, so if people attend your wedding, its bc they wanted to and made that choice. If they dont come, thats okay too! And if NY can hold graduation ceremonies on June 26th of up to 150 people, then you should be able to have your fall wedding.

I think as long as the couple is open and understanding of potential guests who choose not to come and the couple is complying with the current guidelines for their location, going ahead is completely their choice. I think where it starts to cross a line is when the couple gets upset and/or tries to pressure people into attending. Traditionally, there is a strong mindset of "if they love you, they will come," related to wedding attendance. I never agreed with that when applied to a DW and I feel even more strongly about a wedding in the middle of a pandemic. Any couple, for whatever their reasons are, is free to move ahead, as long as they are gracious about the choices their guests make. There are lots of a reasons an individual might have serious reservations about attending, so as long as the couple is respectful of those choices, I say "go for it!"

Its Not Selfish At All. Your Guests Make Their Own Decisions On Whether To Attend Or Not.

Not selfish. if its legal youre not doing anything wrong. im going forward with mine too. anyone whos uncomfortable doesnt need to come and I’m ok with that

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Yes girl, preach!!

I don't think it's selfish, but like you, I read boards and comments and feel bad that other people think it's selfish. We are moving forward with our wedding. We found out my dad has an advanced stage of lung cancer, so if we postpone or even do the "wedding now, reception later", who knows if he'll even be around next year to be at the reception (the one that HE'S helping pay for). So yeah, maybe some people will think I'm selfish. But I really don't care. Before my dad's diagnosis, I would have been fine with postponing, but it's absolutely not an option now.

We will be within government regulations, and it will be perfectly legal.

I don't think it is, but I certainly have people making me feel that it is. If you are following precautions, allowing people to wear masks if they would like to, and are understanding about anyone who might not come - I don't see at all how it is selfish.

Our wedding was already small and now half of that small group can't come or don't feel comfortable coming. We've been gotten a bit of "why don't you just reschedule?" now. It's pretty disheartening.

People on the WeddingBee forums can be very negative and assume the worst in any situation... I only go on there to look at pictures of rings lol.

I don't think it is selfish at all to have a wedding during this pandemic. As long as your venue will follow the guidelines, I don't see the issue at all. You can't put your life on hold for something that is still so unpredictable!