Is it rude to bring a nanny if I’m in bridal party?

I can understand where you are coming from. I think your best bet is to spin it as a favor for them “Oh I know how much we want to celebrate and be engrossed in the party. Kids can be so much and it is just easier for everyone if we just bring a nanny.”

Do you have a close friend that could travel with you to watch them? This friend could do so under the cover that they know your sister and is there as an invited guest. If anyone asks, you can just say that you wanted the family to be able to enjoy themselves.

I don’t see why it would be offensive to anyone. You are providing childcare for your own children without relying on anyone who is attending the wedding. This means no one will be inconvenienced at all, including yourself, and you won’t have to worry. I would just give the bride a heads up. Other then that it’s not really anyone else’s business.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree. Make it seem as though it's a favor so everyone can enjoy themselves, and I think it will be alright.

I’ve been to weddings where a nanny was “provided” for children, and we’re even considering that for our wedding.

I think you can frame it as, you don’t want other family having to worry about your kids when they should be focusing on the celebration.

That’s the reason why we’re even considering a nanny.

I agree with PPs. There's no reason they should be offended in the first place, but if they are, just let them know you want the family to be able to focus on the wedding events instead of babysitting. If you're planning to have the nanny attend wedding events with the kids, I would pass it by your sister first.

I think a baby is a great idea. However, before you hire anyone, I would talk to your sister to be sure the nanny could be accommodated. The nanny will be an extra head to pay for and if they have a guest limit, may not be able to be squeezed in.

I don't think it's rude at all. As others have suggested, I think you can explain it that while you certainly want family to get to see and interact with your children, you don't want to burden them with responsibilities that might distract them from fully enjoying the wedding. They can still hold and play with your children (as you're comfortable), but the nanny will always be present and ready to step in so they can focus on the wedding activities (e.g., changing them or taking them to the restroom, putting them down for naps when needed, keeping them out of harm's way and/or mischief, etc. when family members are distracted and/or lose interest). I think if you present it right, it's hard to imagine anyone having an issue with it and if they think it's "too lavish," oh well! If I were your sister, I'd be happy for you to do whatever is necessary to feel comfortable participating in her wedding and looking out for your children's needs. If she thinks it's too much of a burden to cover the cost of the nanny as another guest, I'd just offer to pay the costs. We did something similar for my nephew's wedding when in order for our elderly & disabled mother to attend her grandson's wedding, we needed to hire a caregiver for her. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Exactly this. You do not need anyone else to care or approve except your sister. And if you can be clear that the nanny means you will be more available when the bride would like you to be, not watching kids, it is an excellent solution.