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Just Said Yes February 2020

Is it rude to ask guests to pay for all or some of the meal?

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Nicole, on January 16, 2018 at 6:31 PM

Hi guys. I am just wandering if it is rude or offensive to ask my wedding guests to pay for some or all of their wedding meal? I have never been married before ams have never been to a wedding myself so am not sure how my guests would react to this and if it is widely practiced or not. Because some of my guests are travelling far is it rude to expect them to contribute financially on top of travel costs they are already forking out? Any advice and help would be great.

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67 Comments

Expert June 2018
Newnoakua · on January 16, 2018 at 7:27 PM
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I don’t think you should have guests pay for part of your wedding. It’s an event you’re hosting so you should cover the meal for them. I attended a wedding where they did this and I was offended as a guest.
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Dedicated September 2018
Chelsea · on January 16, 2018 at 7:35 PM
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Is being rude in the CGs ? It should be. The ew is just unnecessary
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on January 16, 2018 at 7:38 PM
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Rude is subjective. I didn’t find Lilly’s comment rude. It was honest, maybe blunt, but it’s going to be what everyone is thinking if they’re told they need to pay for a meal at a wedding.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on January 16, 2018 at 7:51 PM
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And I thought potluck weddings were bad.
OP, please do not do this. You will offend almost everyone, even people who are not travelling. It's your party, so you choose how much cost to incur. Plan a wedding that is within your budget, or push out the date to save more money. Don't ask your guests to finance your wedding.
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Master December 2016
Elizabeth · on January 16, 2018 at 8:11 PM
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Guests should not open their wallets at your wedding. Paying for dinner is rude. A cash bar is rude. Everything besides you paying to host them completely is rude.
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Just Said Yes August 2018
Jessica · on January 16, 2018 at 8:14 PM
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Wow, tough crowd! I agree with the basic sentiment, though. I think asking your guests to pay would be perceived as rude. I’ve never actually heard of this.
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VIP May 2018
Ashley · on January 16, 2018 at 8:19 PM
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I’m glad you asked! Yes I believe it’s rude. I also recommend providing alcohol, beer and wine is fine to cut costs
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VIP August 2018
Alforev · on January 16, 2018 at 8:20 PM
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I have a difficult time believing this to be a serious post. I recommend researching wedding etiquette.
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Master March 2018
Melissa · on January 16, 2018 at 8:24 PM
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I can’t believe anyone would even think this was okay. I’m (relatively) young too. I’ve been to 2 weddings in my life. One of them I was a kid for. I would never in a million years ask guests to pay their way. I refuse to believe this is a real question.
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Master October 2017
LillyBean17 · on January 16, 2018 at 8:43 PM
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The ew is totally necessary because making your guests pay for anything is ew.

So, ew.
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VIP October 2017
PrettyWitty&Gay · on January 16, 2018 at 9:13 PM
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Fork yes. Holy Moley
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Expert June 2018
6-1-18 · on January 16, 2018 at 9:37 PM
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It's not as bad as potluck or self-catering. Please don't do those in lieu of having your guests pay. It's still bad but I'd rather pay for pro food than get sick.

My boss actually suggested this to me because it's what he did. He spent $300 on his wedding and his guests all paid for their meals 😩
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Expert July 2018
Katie · on January 16, 2018 at 9:59 PM
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OP, may I ask how many people are currently on your guest list and what your budget is?
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Dedicated June 2018
Julie · on January 16, 2018 at 10:03 PM
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All I’m going to say is NO. I second everyone else.
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VIP April 2018
Mrs.hays · on January 16, 2018 at 10:48 PM
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It’s extremely rude, guests should not be expected to pay for anything at your wedding.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on January 16, 2018 at 11:49 PM
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^^^That^^^
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Savvy March 2018
EE · on January 17, 2018 at 12:44 AM
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It's rude. It's even a double wow when you're asking them to travel far. Don't do it.
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Super March 2018
Stephanie · on January 17, 2018 at 12:49 AM
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Yeah, no way. I would be floored if I came to a wedding and was expected to foot the bill for my food.
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Super August 2018
AugustBride · on January 17, 2018 at 3:51 PM
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I have't heard of anyone asking their guest to do so. Guests shouldn't pay for your wedding though, even if its food or alcohol.
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Super September 2018
Brittany · on January 22, 2018 at 5:00 PM
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Very rude. I'm not hard to please by any means but if I was invited to a wedding and was asked to pay for my meal in any way. I would not be attending.
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