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Just Said Yes June 2018

Is it rude to ask guests to attend my wedding, 250 miles away?

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Bridget, on July 12, 2017 at 2:22 PM

My FH and I would LOVE to get married at his family’s cabin, located 250 miles away from where we live. For most of our friends and family, traveling to the cabin takes 2.5 hours by car. To accommodate guests who wish to stay the night (those who want to have a few drinks), we reached out to the nearby resort that has plenty of quaint 2-3 bedroom cabins that rent for ~$125 per night, but that require a 2-night minimum stay. That means that guests attending our wedding will be forced to drive more than 5 hours in one day (2.5 hours each way), OR give up their entire weekend and pay $75-100 per person for a cabin. Is this too much to ask? I don’t want to inconvenience. We haven’t yet finalized our date or any other details, so it’s not too late to change course. But to us, it’s very important to get married at our favorite place and also very important that our loved ones are there to celebrate with us. Should we ask a few of our family members whether it's too much trouble? Help!

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46 Comments

VIP June 2019
Vanessasaurus · on July 13, 2017 at 11:38 AM
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My personal pet peeve is when people make EVERYONE travel for their wedding but 2.5 hours isn't THAT bad. People will definitely give you less in gifts due to the extra expense, but obv. you shouldn't "expect" gifts.
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Devoted May 2017
Katelyn · on July 13, 2017 at 12:09 PM
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We got married in a tiny town beach town in upstate NY where my mom lives. We live in DC (8 hours away) but have friends scattered across the country. We sent invites to 15 states and had people from 12 states! I second most of what's been said, but instead of worrying about the two night minimum, make the wedding a multi-day affair. Our town only had cottages with 3-4 night mins. or B&B's with 2 night minimums, so I organized 5 cottage rentals for everyone. We went up the week before and invited everyone to come on Wed. for a Saturday wedding. About 25 people on Wed., 10 on Thurs. and 20 on Friday. (Total 75 at wedding). I organized excursions for Thurs and other stuff to do on Friday. People loved it. Everyone I've talked to has told me how great it was to spend so much time with us, and I loved it b/c I got to see my friends and family from everywhere for more than 10 minutes at a reception. My mom's house served as a base camp with food and drinks, and we essentially partied for 3 days. We loved it!
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Super October 2017
LoveLoveLove · on July 13, 2017 at 12:22 PM
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Not rude, but it may reduce the number of attendees. Just give your guests enough time to plan, so invitations should go out a little earlier; and save the dates may help as well.
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Super October 2017
K squared · on July 13, 2017 at 12:26 PM
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It's not rude to invite people to a wedding. They can decline if it's not feasible/they don't want to attend.
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VIP September 2017
AAK · on July 13, 2017 at 12:31 PM
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You'd be surprised at who does come. We chose a venue about an hour and a half away from our hometown and most people complained at first "Why are you getting married there and not somewhere around home?" Because that leaves me with either a golf course or a legion and I wanted neither of those. We also hoped we'd get a lot of declines. Well... a lot of people are still coming anyway.

This is also why you plan 100% of your guest list coming. This is not rude of you, OP. You get to choose where you want your wedding. Just understand that some people may not be able to make it.
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Jamoke · on April 24, 2023 at 1:34 PM
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It depends on how close you are to the couple. If you are close long-time friends with the couple, you should be willing to travel. If you barely know the couple, but are invited to a wedding 1200 miles away because (for example) you are friends of the parents of the groom, but have no real relationship with the wedding couple, and you are senior citizens on fixed income, then NO, you should have no compunction about declining the invite, especially if you send a nice gift with your regrets.
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