Is it mandatory to invite distant relatives?

I would so not do it. As a matter of fact, I'm not doing it. I have like 20 billion cousins on my dad's side, none of whom I'm close to. So we just invited aunts and uncles.

Well it is your wedding day and we don't always need to invite family. I am not inviting some of my cousins because we don't keep in touch. She is funny lol

I hope not b/c just my close fam on my side adds up to 66..soo..

I know! She's hilarious. She thinks it's rude because I'm inviting their parents. I'm trying to cut my guest list back and I just think it's a little ridiculous that I'm inviting someone I haven't talked to since 2002, they haven't responded to my emails and who have been married and whatever else and haven't bothered to contact me about it. I don't even know their new last names for goodness sake! I wouldn't even invite a friend to my wedding if I was that far gone from their lives. But then again, it is family so I'm a little torn.

Yep, my cousins and their rude wives never answer me on facebook or emails. So I deleted them on fb and I am not inviting them. Awww dont be torn, you can invite whoever you want. People who is special to you or your FH, not a stranger.

Yep Brian, that is what I am doing. My FMIL wanted to add more guests from my FH side, so I said you pay for extra :-p

That's okay Brian, everyone calls me Tee most of the time anyways so either way works for me And no, my FH and I are paying for the majority of the wedding although my family did help us pay for the venue and my dress. But our food bill is going to be enormous I just don't want to add to it!

Stick with your budget tee and if your grams want to add more, ask her if she can pay for extra guests.

I didnt invite distant relatives. Some of my aunts uncles and cousins I havent seen or heard from in 10 years. There was no way I was sending out invites to people who didnt even wish me a happy birthday or anything. Hubbys mum gave us a list of 80 for their side and we only wanted a wedding of 50!!! We had to go through and explain anyone he hadnt spoken to in so many years was not invited.

Yeah I agree, stick with the budget. My rule was if I hadn't talked to you in the past year - you weren't invited!!

Im not inviting all my family. I have a ton of first, second and third cousins that Im not very close with. I didnt invite my great uncle(my grandmas brother) or any of his kids, grandkids, or great grandkids. I havent talked to them since my great grandmother passed 10 years ago. I also didnt invite 2 of my half brothers that I have talked to in 5 years. I did invite my step dads half sister in TN and his cousins in England because we are very close, we talk at least weekly. It all depends on how close you are. I basically didnt invite anyone I couldnt recognize by picture and if I havent talked to them in over 3 years.

Honestly, even if the cost per plate wasn't an issue, why would you want guests there who don't even really know you? As you said, you don't even know some of their new last names. There's family and then there's FAMILY. I am not inviting anyone from my father's side, including him. I am only inviting my Aunt and my Mom on my Mom's side. I have cousins that I don't keep in touch with and so why would I want them to be with me on a day that they don't really care about anyway?

I agree with Brian's last post. And I followed the same rule as Erika.

My grandma is like that. When I went to England some years ago, she gave me the name and phone number of a distant relative so I could contact them and meet up or something. Um, this was someone I'd never even heard of, so I don't think so. I'm kind of glad all of my family is a few states away because I won't be pressured into inviting them and they wouldn't even come if I did. I certainly won't be spending the money on invites for them, though.

I did it, and none of them came... but they DID send gifts...

Thanks guys you are definately making my decision much easier. I do have their addresses now but it puts it into perspective that several of them never did respond to me and the only reason I have their addresses at all is because of Gram. So thank you so much. Brian you are so amazing you always give the best advice

I wasn't going to invite a massive half of my family because I see them MAYBE once a year, and I don't even know half of their names. I told my grandmother and great-grandmother my decision and they were a bit offended by it. I made a compromise and I am only inviting my Great-Grandmother's children. Unfortunately, I am very close to some of the people I excluded, but I cannot invite them and not others.

Hey Tee, just say you sent one...just to get her off your back. Brian is right about the generation gap. They think it's rude not to invite but if you weren't invited to their weddings, then I guess you're safe on not inviting them either. Good luck hon!

I honestly have a HUGE family and I dont know if I am going to invite 1/2 of them... my father and I have had a falling out about my son and I dont talk to many of my family anymore... I will see what is said on my facebook about invites... I have alot of them on my facebook and I will post a question to "my friends" Saying something like... "I live in California and MOST of my family lives 9on the other side of the country.. do I send an Invite or an announcement for the wedding?" LOL That will help me BIG time!

I am having somewhat of the same problem. We are starting the process and my fh thinks that his mom wants to invite all these people. We are having a small people with 40 people, my parents are paying for it. I have said two things, if she wants more people to come then she has to pay for them. And second I don't want people at my wedding that I never see or didn't even know we were together. I saw it is your day and you invite whoever you want!

I dont think it is mandatory. If you are close to them I see no reason to invite them! Its a wedding not a family reunion! :-)