Is cocktail hour necessary?

@almostmrse call your dioceses and let them tell you. You can marry a baptized Christian. Catholics do not only marry Catholics. As far as the kids how is that being rude???? Everyone knows we dont want any kids at the reception we've said that from day 1. Once we got feed back for not having any kids at either at all we were told it would be nice if they could attend the ceremony. No theyre not paying for my wedding but if theyre specifically mentioning something that makes things easier for them why would i decline? I dont have to pay for anyone at the ceremony so why decline them. I know that people wont show up because of no kids and we're fine with that as you said they have plenty of time to get a sitter but sometimes its easier to find a sitter for the night and not the entire day and night. I get now that a cocktail hour is necessary...the kids weren't the issue. And our ceremony is in our local town

My guess is the ceremony will consist of only the exchange of vows and maybe some readings. What it sounds like it won't have is the full mass. That being the case, the ceremony won't take the entire hour, which makes the gap between ceremony and reception back to approximately 2 hours. I would agree that having a cocktail hour would be of benefit.

If a guest told you it would be easier for them for you to move your wedding date to an appropriate place or time, would you do it?

You can't please everyone.

Logistically it makes no sense. So they're going to bring their children to the ceremony and then drive somewhere to drop off their kids, then drive to your reception? Well then who is watching the kids when they drop them off? So they're going to need to get a babysitter ANYWAY, right?

I'm surprised ANYONE wants to bring their kids to the ceremony only. Not only are they boring but religious ones (sorry) are a bit more boring and longer.

Plus if I had my way, I'd rather not have kids at the ceremony but oh well.

I can't call the dioceses I'm an evil atheist now but like I said, it's whatever about the kids at this point. Just have a cocktail hour with FOOD and LIQUOR.

ETA: FREE food and liquor

I thought the same thing as well and not have a cocktail hour but then I was like what are my guest going to do while they wait for me, FH, and the BP. I know as a guest I want something to do while I wait. And yes of course you can't please everyone, some people don't like to wait but at least they can nibble on some and have a drink beforehand. And if it's in your budget already why not.

We are not doing a cocktail hour but we are doing all pictures before, ceremony is like 2 blocks if that away from reception site and we are going straight into dinner.

None of that makes sense, you cannot get married in a Catholic church unless at least one of you is a CONFIRMED Catholic. FFS, this thread makes my head hurt, so much no.

I have never been to a Catholic wedding WITH a gap. Gaps suck.

Have a cocktail hour AND move your reception start time up a little. And if you allow kids at the ceremony, you need to allow them at the reception.

@almostmrse your sarcasm is not necessary. If you are an atheist why speak on my Catholic ceremony? That wasnt the point of this post. And im not having a cash bar so again save your sarcasm. @vc i wouldnt want to bring my kids to either if it were me. @gymrat changing the date of location of my wedding and allowing kids at my ceremony are two completely different things to accommodate. I dont pay for chairs at the church theres a million pues. With the gap that gives people plenty of time to drop them off if they do decide to bring them. We're leaving that up to the guest if its easier from them to bring their kids to the ceremony bring them if not dont. And getting a sitter from 6-12 is easier than having one from 2-3 to 12 for some. Again no one has an issue with allowing kids at the ceremony.

Gaps in between the ceremony and reception really suck. It's hard to find something to do for a few hours while staying in your wedding clothes. I don't think that cocktail hours are always necessary, but I'm not sure when you would take pictures if you didn't have one. You should move your reception up so that you're having the cocktail hour at 5:00 and the reception at 6:00.

Oh Spiffy, getting a sitter from 6-12 is no easier than getting one from 2-3, it's even more expensive. You are being super inconsiderate. If you are inviting children to your ceremony, you MUST invite them to the reception. It is completely against etiquette.

If you don't actually want our help, stop posting so many questions.

I don't even get wanting kids at your ceremony but not your reception. Of all the times during my wedding I'd least want a crying child, it would be while I'm saying my vows.

@jessiejv my question was about cocktail hour not having kids at my ceremony and i have 2 children so no i know the issues that can arise from needing ro find a sitter. Also i never said i wasnt Catholic i said FH isnt Catholic which is completely normal for the Catholic church he is a baptized Christian

Spiffy, Imma going to let you in on a little something: This is the internet. Anything you post is fair game. You have posted on a wedding website where etiquette is the name of the game, if you step out of etiquette, we will let you know. If you don't want it known, don't bring it up.

Use GymRat's timeline, it's perfect for what you're doing. It sounds like with your last followup you are ok with kids coming to the reception, so just make sure you're clear on your invitations whether kids are invited or not. No cutesy language about it, just their names on the outside or not, for the whole thing.

I get what you're saying about the ceremony - your FH isn't Catholic, you're not doing a Mass, just the actual marriage rite. This is very common.

@jessiejv pp questioned the gap between my ceremony and reception i answered that. You can disagree thats fine. I know what our situation is i know my guest and i know that they've expressed a desire to have the kids with them at the ceremony we're not talking about 100 babies here alot are old enough but under 18. Do i see now that the gap is an inconvenience and i need a cocktail hour yes and that was the purpose of my post. I get everyone can speak on what they like and again thats fine

First of all, we can comment on whatever we feel like - you can't dictate that.

And my point is you sound like you're letting your guests run the show. That's not how it works!!!!

And you can't "leave it up to the guests" to decide if they want to bring their kids to the reception or not. Do you not know how weddings work? You need to give a headcount to the venue or caterer!

My God!

@gymrat up to guest whether they want to bring them to the ceremony! Our reception is and will remain no kids everyone who's invited knows that i wasnt talking about the reception

But you just said on page 2... "We're leaving that up to the guest if its easier from them to bring their kids to the reception bring them if not dont."

A church is a public place so technically yes, people can bring kids if they want, but make it clear on the invitations that you're not actually inviting the whole family. I.e. John and Jane Smith, not the Smith family.