Is cocktail hour necessary?

A main reason is so you have time to take BP and couple photos. The guests need something to do while you are having them taken.

And it's transitional as guests come into the reception area. If you're switching venues, it would help to filter guests in before the reception, give everyone time to get there and whatnot.

3 hours is a long time between ceremony and reception, guests normally frown upon that. Cocktail hour is usually an activity for your guest while you are taking pictures. It's also nice to mingle a little with other guests before dinner.

In your case you need cocktail hour. Unless you move the start time to your reception up. This gap is very inconvenient for your guests. Check out the other thread going on about a long gap.

Generally the cocktail hour is a means of giving your guests something to do during the time between the ceremony and the reception, a 3hr gap is rather big to not give your guests anything to do. Is the area familiar to your guests? Are there a lot of things that they can do in between to keep them busy for the three hours?

STBMP explained it well. Many of your guests, especially out of towners will arrive to your reception early. This will give them something to do (nibble and sip on) before the formal reception begins.

ETA: if your ceremony starts at 4pm, how long will it last? How far from the ceremony is the reception?

As far as I remember, cocktail hour is a way for people to schmooze casually among themselves, get a drink, before they're lead into a more formalized dining area. It also offers people a chance to meet family from the other side. I've always enjoyed it.

Can you shorten the gap? Cocktail hour is what entertains the guests while you are getting your pictures done

If it's included I might just do it anyway. It is more for the people who aren't getting pictures taken or for people who won't be needed for anything before the reception. I would still do a cocktail hour even if you don't serve apps there.

You need to shorten your gap. You definitely need a cocktail hour. It is rude to not host your guests for the entire wedding time. That is inclusive of the ceremony and reception.

It is normal where I am to have 2 hour cocktail hours that are fully hosted with food (lots of it) and drinks (lots of them), then go onto full dinners.

Well i cant change the ceremony time because it was set by my church. We are having it at a Catholic church and although its not a full Catholic ceremony because FH is not Catholic i heard they can sometimes run a little longer. So theres that. Also or reception is adults only however children will be allowed at the ceremony if they'd like to come so i figured if people bring their kids to the ceremony they then need time to drop their children off. My reception is only about 30 min maybe less from the church. And then of course i know there would be picture time but i don't know how long that usually takes. I dont have too many out of town guest

Wow, you are full of etiquette disasters! You cannot invite children to the ceremony and not to the reception. You must invite them to the whole wedding. It is perfectly acceptable to not have them at either.

You need to move your reception time up. The end. I have been to plenty of Catholic weddings with no gap. You need to host anything in between the ceremony and the reception.

If your ceremony starts at 4pm and reception starts at 7pm, your ceremony given the information you provided may take almost 1 hr. That leaves from 5pm - 7pm which is fine given your guests have to travel 30 minutes to the venue for reception. They arrive around 5:30-6pm and it's perfect to provide a cocktail hour to ensure they have something to drink and nibble on while they wait for the reception to begin.

@jessiejv we weren't going to have any kids at either the only reason we chose to was because of feed back from our guest preferring that they come to the ceremony so thats not being changed. I wasnt saying im not doing a cocktail hour

No Spiffy. NO NO NO NO NO.

You cannot expect a parent to bring their child to the ceremony and then go home to drop them off and then come to your reception. That's not how it works. If you want an adult only wedding, have an adult only wedding. There's nothing wrong with that. But what you are proposing is rude.

If you can't change the ceremony time, then possibly:

4-5pm Ceremony

5:30-6:30pm Cocktail Hour

6:30-11:30pm Reception

Short answer?

Yes. It is necessary. It's a time to mingle, to transition to a sit down formal party.

We are skipping a cocktail hour all together . We originally planned for it until we noticed we won't need it . All pictures will be taken before the ceremony. The ceremony and reception are seriously up the stairs from the ceremony space .

How are you having a non-Catholic ceremony in a Catholic church?

Having children at the ceremony was at request of MULTIPLE guest me telling them they cant come to either is in inconvenience for them. @ELK hes Christian you dont need to both be Catholic to have your ceremony at a Catholic church

Oh okay so your guests are paying for your wedding?

Too bad. Hey - my FH is inviting a guest who has 5 children under 16 and lives halfway across the country to our adult only reception. I told him expect her to decline.

So Spiffy you either need to have an adult only wedding or invite the children to all of it. And if you have an adult only wedding, be prepared for people with children who can't get a babysitter to decline.

If your wedding is April of next year they have PLENTY of time to find a babysitter. Come on now.

I WAS a Catholic and that makes no sense to me. The Catholic Church is the most difficult and unwilling to change anything church and you're telling me they'll marry a Christian? Never heard or seen that done before.

But anyway, forget the kids. It sounds like she's set on being rude. Have a cocktail hour.