Is anyone here having a vegan wedding??

Here's some advice guaranteed to please: invite 200 devoted vegans to your reception, or add a menu option of meat if even two of your 200 guests are not vegans.

If you're a vegan, you already know that all 200 guests are probably less than interested in a plate of vegan fare. I don't know -- maybe you'll have, tops, 60 guests who understand the mixing of a wedding with a social issue, but the majority of your guests will silently whisper, "WTF am I eating?". Yes, it's all about you and you spouse, your social issues, your beliefs, etc. Ummm....not really. If you want to invite 200 people, can you at least agree not to preach at them through your menu? Can you offer them the conventional wedding chicken breast -- and if you can't, can you at least admit that you're using your wedding as a societal platform as opposed to a romantic one? If you cannot, why not limit your guest list to the like minded guests who will applaud your vegan menu? A random guess? Because the guest list would be in the two digits as opposed to three digits.

Sorry, I just don't get it. Either be a gracious host and offer your non-like minded guests a dinner they will actually recognize and enjoy, or invite a much smaller guest list of 100% like minded vegans. Remember, Elizabeth, it's a wedding, not a consciousness raising event. Every guest should walk away feeling like they celebrated the union of two individuals, not the adoption of a vegan lifestyle.

Brutal? Only if you're narrow minded. We live in an inclusive society today. We shouldn't force feed those who have differing or less evolved opinions than our own. In an effort to convert or explain, we meet people where they are. Inclusion...that's the name of the game.

Please don't just serve vegan food if not all your guests are vegan! Yes the wedding is about you and your FH/fw but you're hosting and that would be very impolite.

Seriously, you need to think about the other 190 people who are coming who don't eat this way. This doesn't mean you need roast suckling pig carved to order, but you also can't serve giant salads with twigs and mashed potatoes. It's just going to be no fun for the rest of the guests.

Weirdly enough, when I was still catering, somehow we got listed on About.com as a vegan caterer; we had literally done one vegan wedding; sort of. Towards the end, the families rebelled at having cous cous, cous cous with a side of rice, and we added a pasta (with cheese) and a chicken dish. (not a dry overcooked one either.....)

Weddings are about expressing your personality, but they are also about being gracious hosts, (which is why the cash bar thing is so caustic).

I"m sorry your first two responses had to be of the, "No Way" variety, but weddings are all about compromise; between you two, you and your families, and in this case, you and your menu

Or cut the guest list down to immediate family who loves you enough to make a festive meal out of risotto and grilled veggies (hold the butter).

FW and I are serving a vegetarian dinner for about 20 people total, and I'm allergic to dairy so it's designed so all the dairy is optional or otherwise easily avoided. You're likely gonna catch a lot of flak about this on here -- omnivores in general tend not to understand why it's rude to serve a vegetarian or vegan meat (which they can't eat) but not rude to serve an omnivore a vegetarian/vegan meal they're perfectly capable of eating. (And goodness *gracious* the ones who want meat can be really loud about demanding you pay for other people to have it for dinner!)

For 200 people, you're probably going to get a sizable amount of flak from your closer guests, too. Do you have your heart set on a full meal? Can you make it brunch, or a cake-and-punch reception instead? I imagine it'll be easier to serve a meal that 200 omnivores won't complain about if you choose one that's traditionally lighter.

If you do go for a full meal, go for the heartiest, boldest vegan food you can think of. Mushrooms, eggplant, beans, potatoes, go nuts and offer as many options as you can because omnivores always hate at least one major filling vegan option.

Our menu is:

apps: anise-fig crostini with goat cheese, cucumber cup with fresh guacamole

salad with winter greens, candied pecans, pear and citrus slices and lemon-herb vinaigrette

balsamic grilled veggies

entree choices: vegan borani bonjan (Afghan baked eggplant with spiced tomato broth) over quinoa, or gnocchi with dairy-free pesto, baby mushrooms and wilted spinach, or marinated portobello mushroom stuffed with seasonal vegetables and topped with red pepper romesco

And then dessert is dairy-free chocolate lava cake with fresh berries and optional strawberry cream!

I agree with the other posters. Please take into account that not everyone partakes in a vegan lifestyle. Offer 1 or 2 entree options for those who do eat meat. Remember these are people who are probably spending money, taking off work, and providing a gift all to support you and your marriage. Please be a good host and give them the option.

ETA: we will have a vegetarian, gluten free, and vegan options for our guests who would like one. It goes both ways! I can't force my guests who don't eat meat to eat meat at my wedding just like you shouldn't force your guests who eat meat to eat vegan at yours!

FYI, we were invited to a wedding and the couple decided to provide a vegan cocktail hour and buffet. We knew the couple were vegans, but thought they would have the courtesy to provide other options. They did not. I would say about 10% - 15% of the 300 guests were vegan. The rest were carnivores. We all passed on the vegan fair and went back to our rooms and ordered room service. And no, we did not return to the reception.

@ they/them pigeon - I'm a die hard carnivore, and your menu sounds amazing! Can I come to your wedding? ;-)

Carnivores? Nice visual. I think of a reptilian dinosaur with huge teeth and tiny hands ripping the head off of a leaf eating dinosaur. Then, he or she eats it. There's no plate, no napkin, no utensils. There's no venue.

Now that the dinosaurs have become extinct, humans --the majority of whom like a steak, baked potatoes, and a salad, have been labeled carnivores. Okay. No apologies need be offered on my account (number 2 of the first two posts). I'm telling the lady the truth as I know it. She's free to do what she wants.

Carnivore. noun

1. An animal that eats flesh

2. A flesh-eating mammal of the order Carnivora, comprising the dogs, cats, bears, seals, and weasels.

Geeze! Reptilian dinosaurs ripping off heads? Seriously? Carnivore is a perfectly rational scientific description of an animal (and yes, humans are animals) who eats meat.

Im actually shocked at all the people who are anti-vegan. Just because the food is vegan, doesn't mean it's automatically awful! I suppose if you're super concerned, make one entre meat eater friendly but I really can't believe it's such a big deal if it's delicious.

Shhhh, it's okay, everyone. Nobody is calling anyone names. Vegetarians and vegans generally describe people who eat meat as omnivores, not carnivores, 'cause we're well aware that meat is not the only thing you eat and we want you to remember that too. And if omnivores have a neat word to describe us, we need a neat word to describe you, too, otherwise dialogue becomes much harder.

Honestly, I consider all of us to be human beings. Beyond that, I hate the labels that separate us because they focus on a single part of our humanity. I don't want to put a label on anyone -- carnivore, herbivore. or omnivore. For the purposes of this thread, you are all just a human beings with food preferences. When it comes to hosting weddings, food expands beyond our own personal preferences. I hate -- as in, I despise and want to throw up-- when I smell fish -- of any kind. It truly boggles my mind that people can even swallow it, let alone rave about it. Did I serve it at my wedding? Yes. It was a choice on the menu, but in my mind, I couldn't believe anyone would order it...but they did. So, live and let live. Part of that concept means I'm serving what my guests will love despite the fact that I might hate the food choice. And with that, I take my leave of this thread.

Huh? Who here has said anything about being anti-vegan? No one said vegan food was awful. It was just stated that all guests need to be thought of. That's great if OP and some of the guests are vegan, but not everyone is. So they should offer a meat choice for those who like meat.

Just like I am not a vegetarian, but I offered a vegetarian option for those who wanted it.

I think it may be useful to point out here that eating (and paying for and thus serving) meat is not just against deeply held and deeply personal ethical beliefs for vegetarians, but it will usually make us sick unless we haven't been vegetarian for very long. It's not really as simple as a preference. Simply not eating meat for one meal generally won't make omnivores sick, barring medical conditions.

Just make sure that like any other "non-traditional" wedding choices you list this all on your wedding invitations and/or website that way your guests can choose whether they want to decline or attend or make any other arrangements based on your choices.

Side note: I have several vegans and vegetarians attending my wedding and am taking to time to go over options with the catering staff so that they have plenty of options during the wedding. If I spend the time and expense to extend that courtesy to you I would find it rude not to extend it in return.

Honestly, I don't see an issue with this as long as you make sure there's enough food and include several different options. Most omnivores don't eat meat for every meal. When people on here have a very low catering budget, a lot of the advice is usually to get pasta/salads/etc with different sauces and serve that, not that they shouldn't have what they can afford because everyone needs steak and lobster for dinner. There's a bride on here that hunted her wedding dinner and a lot of people thought it was a way of incorporating who they are as a couple into their wedding and sharing part of their lives with their guests. This is the same thing. Most people who are Muslim or Jewish wouldn't serve pork at their weddings (or shellfish for Jews) because of personal beliefs. OP and her partner don't eat or purchase meat and dairy because of their personal moral beliefs and that's ok.

Can you offer vegetarian options in addition to vegan? Your non-vegan guests should be fine with a cheese ravioli or tortellini.

I agree with the other comments. FH does not drink alcohol because of a medical condition and I rarely drink, but we are still having a full bar at our wedding. Why? Because our friends and family love to drink and we want them to have a good time.

I hate to admit it, but we also only remember the food at weddings where it didn't go well. We have been at two catered weddings where they ran out of food by the time our table went through the buffet. And one wedding where we all got food poisoning. Just a note- a lot of vegan food is high in fiber and high in nuts/fat. This can cause severe stomach discomfort for people that aren't used to eating this way.i don't think you need to serve meat, but maybe compromise with a cheesy pasta.

OP just be aware that a lot of the food may go yo waste due to those who have no desire to eat it.

I think this is kind of the opposite issue. Where as most weddings like to include a vegetarian/vegan option for those that have those needs. While we are meat eaters, we definitely recognize we will have about 10 vegetarians and a couple of vegans, so an option is being included so that our guests aren't stuck just picking at a salad. I think that's the point people are trying to make.

I think people here are being really absurd. There's some great vegan food out there and there's no reason you should violate your ethics just because it's a wedding. We are having a kosher wedding, should we serve pork and meat and dairy together just because most of our guests don't keep kosher? No way! Instead we chose a venue that knows how to put together an amazing kosher menu, and when it's done right you often don't even notice that it's different. Great vegan food is possible! Serve a varied and hearty meal and people can handle it. There's no reason for adults to not be able to handle a vegan wedding as long as the food is good, just choose your caterer carefully.

Stand by your ethics and don't let the people here tell you otherwise just make sure you serve great food. A good trick is to serve things that look familiar, things like dumplings and pasta and such, if it's good people will enjoy it.